Wasteland Campaign

Days of Present Future

Time Frame: ???, 50 years A.Q.B.

Ketyl’s POV

(In order to make things clearer, from now on, I will be using B.Q.B. for “Before Quest Begins” and A.Q.B. for “After Quest Begins.” Time travel will be far too confusing without a timeline.)

I looked around the vessel. Strangely, it looked bigger on the inside than I would have thought. Orin handed us a pamphlet that explained how we should handle time travel. He remained pretty dodgy, advice-wise, which is probably for the best. Don’t want to cause any paradoxes that might screw him or us over. He told us to make our way for Silotown once we landed, but that he had no idea where we end up, only when. Specifically, 50 years into our future, what he called “the end of things.”

When we landed, we came across a small village and we were soon beset by devils. After a long battle, we managed to finish them off. We were approached by some kind of powerful devil who offered us a deal. He told us we were in Tarathel, a country formerly populated by angels that were torturing one of their own kind to provide for everyone. They were overthrown and the devils took over. However, Iona, a powerful paladin of Heironeous, had raised an army that kept the devils stuck in Tarathel, unable to pass to the lands beyond. His offer was to play piggyback in one of our bodies in order to be smuggled across and, in return, he would guarantee safe passage and the ability to resist some form of damage, like he had.

Obviously, a deal with a devil is something to be vary cautious of, so I tried to fast-talk our way to a much better deal that I would eventually renege on, a classic scam that any child of the gutter would know. While Korbin ruined this plan with his recklessness in accepting the brand, we still managed to get a tidy sum for each of us on top of the gift thanks to my negotiating. I didn’t want to make a deal with devils, but fighting through an entire country of devils seemed difficult, at best. I wasn’t going to risk any of us dying, certainly not Lyanna, if I could avoid it. And if I’m making a deal, you’d best believe that I’m going to profit from the deal.

However, Ethel was furious that I was even considering the deal, going off in a huff. Her stubbornness is really getting in the way now. Cheera followed her, powerless to resist her aunt’s whims. Although Cheera isn’t much younger than I, she was still a child in many ways, unable to go against her family.

Further, that nutty woman brought up my mother, claiming that she would be ashamed of me. While I managed to brush it off, her words stirred in me a cold bile. Mother… dead to the world as she was, I could care less what she would think. After dad left, she spent all her money on booze and drugs, even resorting to prostitution, until… I had to leave, even at my young age. Anything was better than with her, or so I thought. The streets… are far worse than anything you could imagine. For a child… I suffered unspeakable things. But I survived, and that’s all that matters. I don’t know what happened to her, but it doesn’t matter now. Survival and profiting off a good story, that’s all that matters now.

I shouldn’t let that old bat’s words affect me so much. I know she can only think of her own morals and projects them onto everyone else. Regardless, she had to rejoin us for the quest so she’ll just have to deal with it.

As I looked upon the pentagram carved into Korbin’s fur, I felt a twinge of concern. He may be a bit dim, but I had planned on him being the sacrifice should this plan go south. I certainly wasn’t going to accept the brand and I knew he had little impulse control. I looked over the others as we walked: Sol, calm and collected as always, presumably a side effect of that metal body of his. Kronk, a fire burning behind those gentle eyes. Cheera, her eponymous mood would keep us going in the dark times to come. Enna, quiet and shy, but you can always trust a fellow urchin to look out for herself. Lyanna, a woman who asked for none of this, hefted the fate of the world on her shoulders. And Ethel… much as we may disagree on our methods, she could be trusted to protect the others, even if it claimed her life.

We finally made it to the wall, glorious and radiant. We were approached by angels, who seemed surprised that humans were alive in this country for old devils. They immediately saw the brand on Korbin’s chest and whisked him away for quarantine. They led the rest of us through a secret tunnel to a hall on top of the mountain with many paladins, monks, and clerics training to protect the wall. As we met up with Korbin an hour later, Iona met with us. After I explained that Orin had sent us, she warily replied that Orin had been considered dead for nearly 15 years. I have to keep a note of that, in 35 years, Orin will either die or go missing. Anyway, we explained that we were time travellers, and that Orin had told us to go to Silotown, hoping to find something we could use to fix the problems of the past.

She settled down and, at dinner, she told us everything that had happened. After Shao Khan’s death, Moldark had declared war on the south, sending waves of vampires for decades. By the time SIlotown had won, they had taken many casualties. But suddenly, they were accosted on several fronts by Morael and some worm-plague that he developed, a resistance group by some person known as the Elder. We inquired about Louis Arizona, and she replied that he was the leader of the Drow, but had no idea of what his involvement was. The wastes and the Northern Kingdom had succumbed over time, with nearly no life left outside those walls. Just hordes of Morael’s undead were left. Further, no word had come from SIlotown in years. This monastery may be the last refuge in the world, for all we know. Nonetheless, the compass pointed to Silotown, so we have no choice but to try and avoid the undead. It would take us days, perhaps weeks on foot. I knew I would never take that old cart and donkey for granted again.

Seeing our determination, Iona knew she couldn’t stop us and she offered us a place to rest for the night and whatever supplies we could purchase. She told us that she would help more, but she couldn’t afford to take away protections from her students at the monastery. I can’t say that I blame her, much as I wish that I could. Even if we succeed and this entire timeline is destroyed, she won’t ever know that world in which we succeeded. That thought gave me pause. If we succeed, this timeline’s version of people will be essentially wiped clean. A genocide of the highest order. Even with all we’ve done, nothing could compare to the mistakes we could make with time travel. We all bedded down for the night, but I doubt that sleep will soothe my troubled mind.

The Camp of the Frost Giants


Ketyl’s POV

I’m not going to lie, all these flashes of moonlight causing my party members to appear and reappear is getting really annoying. Some other bearded guy walked into the citadel we were staying at. Korbin seemed to know him as Kronk, so I guess he’s joining us? Apparently, he’s a druid.

As we headed out, we experienced some snow fall. One day passes without incident. Korbin set about making some strange contraption.

Another day passes without incident. We captured some gnome who was a slave to some giants who forced him to build something. We forced him to take us north. Apparently, Korbin created a cover for the wagon. I was actually rather impressed as I had thought Korbin reckless and perhaps a bit dim. I’d have to revise my idea of him to just reckless.

After some time on the third day, we saw a few camps and the compass pointed directly towards a cave on the hill where treasure was being held. We set up a plan where Grimaldi and I would sneak into the cave while Kronk would set a fire by the southwest camp as a distraction.

As we make our way to the hill, we see and hear an explosion coming from the southwest camp. So far, the plan is going off without a hitch. Now for Grimaldi’s insane plan. Wow, his plan was terrible, but somehow it still managed to work.

We still had to fight off some giants and their dogs, but I managed to slow them down with some overgrown plants. I quickly turned myself invisible to avoid being targeted. Suddenly, I saw Korbin pushing boulders down on one of the giant. Dan managed to make one’s head explode, I better keep an eye on him.

The others drew the enemies’ attention while Dan and I managed to make it into the cave. We saw this strange contraption among all the treasure. While I would have liked to sift through our spoils a little bit longer, we heard a hoard of frost giants approaching at high speed. A man opened the contraption and told us to hurry. Everybody managed to snag something before piling into the vehicle. I managed to snag some sweet studded leather and some kind of wondrous cloak.

The man pressed some buttons and we were suddenly taken away from the cave and I had no idea where we had gone. What was most obvious was the robe covered in what appeared to be swivelling, unblinking eyes. His skin had a strange metallic sheen and he had green hair and eyes. I recognized him from stories of the Silotown Saviors, but I couldn’t place which one he was.

He was clutching his side, a gash staining his hand and robe. He seemed rather confused, asking what had happened recently. We told him what had happened so far and he asked if we had met the Elder or Louis Arizona yet. Seeing our confusion, he cursed, saying that he’d altered events by telling us and now we had to encounter those threats. At this, I knew that my theory had been correct. Time travel shenanigans. If I played my cards right, this could be an even greater tale than Ziggy’s tale of the Silotown Saviors!

He told us that he would be taking somewhere in this contraption. Or rather… someWHEN. Is that the proper way to say that? Had we entered a time machine? What would happen next?

Uh-oh, I just realized we left Leeloo and the cart behind. Hope we can find her later.

Pursued by Owlbears
Ashava used to be human? And has a brother?


Ketyl’s POV

As we entered the room of the Trial by Combat, the door closed behind us. Classic. Korbin pulled a lever, spawning a bunch of gross things and a demonic gorilla.

After we took them out, we freed a large, angelic being who told us he was the brother of Ashava. He told us the story of Ashava and how she ascended to godhood. When we opened the tomb, we were given a note and some sort of compass that would lead us to some kind of thing that would allow us some payback against Moldark.

We met with a merchant who told us of a cleric who could cure our lycanthropy to the northeast. As we travelled by donkey cart, we were pursued by owlbears. We managed to avoid it for awhile, but it got stuck. Korbin jumped out to distract the owlbears while Cheera jumped out to get the cart unstuck.

Unfortunately, Korbin fell and was eaten by the owlbears as we escaped. And then, Korbin reappeared in the cart with us with an owlbear beak stuck in his shoulder. As we reached the cleric’s domain, we were cured of our lycanthropy. Praise Ashava for curing us of our affliction. We decided to spend the night to avoid more encounters with owl bears. I spent my time performing for the children.

Tomorrow, we’ll be on our way to the north, where the compass was pointing. The snowy tundra awaits us.

Dancing in the Moonlight


Ketyl’s POV

As our group travels down the road, we see a dishevelled woman with a trapped raccoon run up to us. Apparently, Cheera knows her as Lyc. As we met up with the others, we told them about our curse. We rest for the night to get a fresh start.

Suddenly, Lyanna, Sol, and Grimaldi disappear in a flash of moonlight.

We went further into the crypt. Corbin insisted on us being under some painting to shield us from moonlight. As we went through a secret door, we saw a chest full of treasure. We debated over the morality of stealing from the crypt, but ultimately decided against it. As Corbin walked into the room, he sprung a trap, sending falling rocks crashing down on us. Most of us dodged out of the way, but Cheera had her leg trapped. We were then attacked by white corpses who claimed that they had been waiting to eat us.

After the fight, I felt overwhelmed with the need to steal. I grabbed the ring and the belt and put them on. I felt more comfortable and stronger. Clearly, I had the right idea.

At some point, Enna appeared in a flash of moonlight. I honestly don’t remember when, as I was a little zoned out.

As we go through a hallway, Dan is accosted by a spirit that he drags out of the water. To our surprise, the spirit stops attacking him and thanks him for helping.

We come into a dark room and keep falling off these narrow rails. We finally get across, though Dan unfortunately died and reappeared in the next room.

I found another secret room with a treasure chest underwater. I wanted to go in and get it, but Cheera convinced me to let her do it. As soon as she jumped in, she was attacked by some sort of sentient water creature. After a long battle, I was scolded for my greed.

Hypocrites, the lot of them. Willing to murder people over a slight, willing to steal from corpses and innkeepers who gave them rest. But taking spoils from a chest after we fight a battle for it is where we draw the line? Especially considering this is clearly a trial. Trapped rooms, puzzle rooms, saving a ghost, impossibly dark balancing acts?

I won’t talk about it more because it just makes me more upset.

We come back to a prayer room where we dance to honor Ashava. Against Corbin’s greatest efforts not to help, we manage to open the next doors with our dancing.

Suddenly, we came to a pair of doors with the words “Trial by Combat” above. As we pushed open the doors, what sort of foes would we face next?

The Werewolf's Curse


Ketyl’s POV

Grimaldi appeared and we filled him in on what happened. We began to head to the crypt. On the way, we came to the charming town of Lupinport. Ethel seemed to go off, probably to drink. I chose to replenish my coin purse, so I looked around for an easy mark. Found a guard whose attention seemed to be lax, lifted some gold and a silver arrow. Guess the warnings about lycanthropes weren’t for nothing.

Grimaldi and I make some money off the people as a group of sketchy-looking men start gathering around the exits. Dan starts performing his magic. Luckily, they move out the back door after Korbin talks to them.

The next morning, we met with the mayor. He was a douche, so I stole his stuff. Then we told some people that the mayor was attempting to leave people. May have started a riot, but that’s not important. We got some provisions from Goblin Gary at a steal, and we followed Korbin, Dan, and Lyanna out of town.

As we travelled down the road, we were ambushed by some werewolves. I cloaked them in some Faerie’s Fire and started cutting one with my silver dagger. Slowly, it became clear that we were being overwhelmed. I was used to being far from the front lines and I could feel the werewolf’s curse struggling to take over my mind. I’d have to get cured soon or I’d become a danger to those around me. As we finally took the rest of the werewolves down, we were exhausted. But we couldn’t stop, we had to catch up with the rest of our party so that we could rest and be cured of our ills.

A Hopeless Place


Ketyl’s POV

Cheera reappears while Sol and Enna disappear in a burst of moonlight. We caught her up to speed about what happened while she was gone.

Dan’s weird pet kept scuttling around, I guess Dan can see what he sees. We came across a barred passage that Korbin was too impatient to saw through. We came across an aberration of tentacles and bulbous flesh. Cheera struck a mighty blow, cleaving flesh from the creature in a wide arc as green bolts flew from Dan’s fingertips. Korbin charged the creature, knocking him directly into Cheera’s blade, cleaving it in twain.

Dan finds a way into the servant’s quarters by tying off a rope down the pipe. He further creates a distraction which allows access to hallway near the courtyard. We try to convince some guards to take us to Shao Khan, but I had to charm one of them. The other guy was not quite as agreeable, so we had to kill him.

As we reach the throne room, we see about 20 vampire spawn being nailed to crosses, including Shao Khan. On the throne is not Shao Khan, but Moldark. 12 vampires, dressed as nobles, including Lord Preibus and Lord Bannon, are overseeing the overthrowing. We are welcomed in, as they believe we’re still down for this.

Korbin charges, slitting his wrist, and slamming it into Shao Khan’s mouth while simultaneously pulling the stake out of Shao Khan’s chest. Dan, Cheera, Lyanna, Enna, and I bolted while Ethel attempted to stay behind and help Korbin. Frankly, I think Korbin is insane. Old rulers are overthrown all the time. We did our best, now we have to protect Lyanna. I can only hope that Ashava will protect them and Shao Khan.

We were pursued by bats, but Cheera tried to slow them down so we could escape. I don’t know what happened to the others, but I was surrounded by vampires and suddenly the world went dark.

I woke up on a strange, rocky landscape only to be informed that I had just died. Dying is a strange sensation, not much different from falling asleep. As I looked around, I saw that my companions were there, including Lyanna. Apparently, we had all died in our attempt to escape. Gullycloak, the apparently former High Priest of Ashava, told us we did very well. We pointed out that we had failed pretty miserably and he waved it aside. He claimed that he was looking out for us, and would be meeting us soon for the first time… but that he wouldn’t recognize us. Ethel and Enna seemed more upset than the rest of us, claiming that they didn’t even believe in Ashava and didn’t appreciate being roped into her game against their will. Unfortunately, the proof is in the pudding and that’s just how stories go when gods get involved.

Suddenly, we began to wake up on cold slabs, covered in funeral shrouds. A young pageboy in Ashavan robes began to speak to us, claiming that he was the new High Priest of Ashava. Apparently, Moldark had been busy, slaughtering every one in line to be High Priest until someone gave in and approved his ascension in the name of Ashava. This boy had managed to get our bodies and equipment back as part of the deal. Pretty impressive, if you ask me. He revealed a sealed tube containing an ancient painting. Apparently, there was a prophecy of Ashava’s Chosen One, a messiah who would save the church from the bring of destruction. Supposedly, she was due to return right now. Not only was this Chosen One a dead ringer for Lyanna, but the rest of us were in the painting too. Even Grimaldi and Sol, who were not originally with us when we entered Sanctuary.

This boggled our minds. Was our coming truly predestined? Was it a coincidence? I think it’s some form of time travel shenanigans. Whatever it is, I can’t let a story like this go, so I was down for whatever. Apparently, Ashava would be protecting us, as our deadly wounds had been replaced with deep scars. Who knows how many times we’ll be rescued like this though.

After much deliberation, we asked about the status of Shao Khan. Sadly, Moldark had strung him up to be destroyed by the light of day and there was nothing left.

We determined that our next course of action was to journey to the burial site of Lyanna’s doppelganger. Hopefully, we would find some form of instructions as to what we should do next.

Metaphors for our Distaste with our Current Political Climate


Ketyl’s POV

The groups reach the capitol city of Sanctuary, which seems to be encased in a deep fog. Sol shows up in a fog of darkness and notices two men put notes into Dan’s pocket. As Korbin’s group shows up, they find that the gate to the castle is closed off for the next 12 hours.

Korbin tries to get past the guards, but is told that orders came from above not to let anybody in until night-time.

As Dan reads the notes, Korbin points out that it is odd that the notes, supposedly from Lord Bannon, suggest different meeting places and that he already knows of the party’s success despite her being presumed dead and already disguised. They decide to split the party into three groups: Dan and I heading to the Bloodstained Raven; Korbin hiding Lyanna in the Church of Ashava; and Sol, Enna, and Ethel heading to the Gutted Stag.

Lord Priebus meets up with Dan and I and promised us land and titles if we get Lyanna to give her endorsement to Moldark as the new monarch. We met in an extremely nice building where he served me perfectly seasoned skirt steak and a well-paired red wine. He’d clearly done some research on us for a while considering that he knew all of our preferences. Clearly, he had a very well-informed spy network. His specific reasons for overthrowing Shao Khan were the standard political tripe: he was angry that his legion of werewolf minions were not allowed to feed on people more than 1-3 times a year. He knew Moldark would easily allow a dozen feedings on innocent people per year. We told him that we’d give his offer some thought and left.

We met up with the other group up at the cathedral. The other group apparently had a similar encounter with Lord Bannon, though he favored no regulations at all. Lyanna showed disgust for both nobles and suggests that we sneak into the castle via the sewers to warn Shao Khan before any attempts were made to overthrow the king.

We come across a vampire and kill it after learning it is loyal to Moldark. Really enjoying having Korbin keep that foul thing away from me. I’m definitely not into dying again. Probably should have considered investing in garlic before heading into a vampire-infested castle, though.

The Conspiracy Widespread

Ingame: 10/06-10/13

The yellow mottled man and six assailants attack a soldier who came to investigate the assault.
Korbin, the minotaur, grabs the princess (who is covered by a sodden cloak and runs down the burning stairs.

Dan Mysterio slips down the rope and hurts himself. We find out that the six assailants are actually the kitchen staff who warned us of the attack last night. A rat-like humanoid attacks one of the kitchen staff. Korbin jumps out another window with the princess, a blast of fire following of him from the backdraft.

After the vampire and the mottled skin human are killed, the kitchen staff run off, assuming that Princess Lyanna is dead.

Korbin and Dan travel to the town of Scarecrow along with Lyanna. Separately, the rest of the group travels to Scarecrow, assuming that the other group managed to keep Lyanna safe. They find out that the town is famous for corn and corn-related deaths. They rest and relax until early afternoon before heading out once more. A few days later, they make it to the outskirts of the capital.

They separate into the same groups: Korbin leading the way and Cheera leading the other group. Ketyl notices that his group is being followed by something keeping to the trees. Korbin and Dan meet up with some vampire guards who promise to escort them to the capital.

As they reach the capital, they rest for the night.

Battle of the Bed and Breakfast

In-game: 10/06/17

The group had traveled for several days and stopped in a small village to rest for the night. As they relaxed, Korbin was passed a note by the kitchen staff to be careful as somebody was targetting the princess. At this point, the group had disguised the princess as an elderly man, so the fact that anyone knew they were travelling with the princess was distressing.

During the night, the group was attacked by the half-ogre bouncers while some man with yellow, mottled skin was yelling from the ground below the window to toss down the princess. Not trusting this suspicious man, the group fought on as they slowly lost their strength. Both sides would have defeated members, but Cheera suffered the worst of it. The others were merely unconscious or near death, but Cheera had taken a fatal axe wound to the neck. Ethel mourned over her dead charge and the mood was rather grim. Even Lyanna’s healing magic had run dry, much to their chagrin.

But Cheera’s fate was not to die this day. A comforting moonlight shone from her wound and stitched itself together. While she would be heavily scarred, Ashava had blessed Cheera to fight once more as one of her Chosen. The voice that had spoken to them before then warned Cheera not to take this blessing lightly, as it would not save her forever. Exhausted and drained of resources, the group took a short rest before planning to head out again.

New Story, New Heroes

In game: 10/01

Picture a forest somewhere in the northern Levithian Empire. Trudging through it is a group of adventurers: Dan Mysterio, the arrogant elven stage magician; Grimaldi, a demented clown; Ketyl, an annoying but gifted singer of half-elven origin; Cheera, the Half-Orc fighter who’s perhaps too innocent for the journey to come; Ethel, her crabby, but loving halfling guardian; and a robotic monk. Scouting ahead are the elven rogue, Enna, and the beefcake minotaur soldier, Korbin Texas.

A motley group at best, but they’re the subject of this story. Working as an entertainment/mercenary company, they had been working together for a little while. They had come together not long after the news had reached the north of the Saviors of the Wastes and their deeds.

This group, however, had a long way to go before they could be so renowned. Their latest mission from Lord Bannon: to retrieve the distant heir of Shao Khan, King of the Levithian Empire, and bring her to the king’s hearing. Shao Khan was reportedly disinheriting his son, Moldark, after his failures and disgrace in the Wastes, and was looking for a new heir. While this heir, Princess Lyanna, was very far down the line of succession, she was obligated to come.

So the group set forth, coming to a town with a small inn with a strange rule. No silver weapons were allowed of any kind in the inn and any weapons had to be stored in a special box. Meanwhile, the group met with a jade-cloaked band of mercenaries who were heading up the same mountain on a secret mission. Fearing that their missions would collide, several of our heroes came up with different plans to slow them down.

Meanwhile, some of our heroes had designs of their own, attempting and succeeding in stealing some of the silver weaponry for their own while the innkeepers were busy with lovemaking.

As all the confusion came together, a brawl broke out between our heroes, the jade group, and the innkeepers (who were apparently werebears, the reason for the silver ban). Bewildered by all this, the robotic monk set the place aflame, assuming that our heroes were planning on escalating the conflict further.

Managing to escape the battle and leaving the jade group to deal with the werebears, our group hustled up the mountain to meet Princess Lyanna, a cleric of Ashava in her own right. As the group explained the situation, she refuses to leave until she finishes her ceremony. Apparently that night was a hunter’s moon, a powerful omen from Ashava. Suddenly, our heroes were confronted by the jade warriors who were there to kill Lyanna. Through a pitched battle, our heroes emerged victorious. Lyanna urged the heroes into the ritual chamber and to enter the water.

As a strange moonlight came over them, the group was overcome with visions of a white, rocky landscape overlooking a blue orb in a vast darkness speckled with points of the smallest light. A gruff voice addressed them, telling them that Ashava had chosen the group for a special mission. What that mission was was not made clear to them. The voice chuckled that his friends bumbled like our heroes did at one point. As our heroes woke up, Lyanna agreed to go with them.

With that, they set out back towards the capital. But it was clear that someone was trying to stop Princess Lyanna from returning to the capital, presumably to keep her from inheriting the throne. The group would have to be cautious.


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