Wasteland Campaign

Sweet Talk, Drugs, and Unicorns

Saturday Group 6/18/16
In-game date 1/2

As Kreg goes up, he is bid upon and is eventually sold for 100,000 gp to House Denny. Lord Denny plans to use Kreg to oversee the slaves in the mines. Kreg commissions a suit. Kreg will now be referred to as Tower. He begins building a bomb that will blow up House Denny’s fireplace.

Dale decides to meet with the captain and his friends. He talks about security and finds out there is an antimagic field and how Lord Baxter has the key.

Roren designs the greatest sex machine ever, hopefully bringing Lord Mancini out of his depression. As the dwarves begin going over the plans with him, it’s clear this will take a year or two to make.

As the group gathers together to create a heist plan, they decide that they’ll convince Lord Baxter that Lord Denny is trying to use his meteorite key on the Baxter vault.

Kreg sneaks down and creates a distraction with a bottle rocket into the barracks to lend credence to this rumor. An alarm sounds off throughout the castle. Dale tries to convince Lord Baxter that someone is trying to get into the vault. Baxter announces that they will go see the vault.

Kreg is now touring the jewel mines of House Denny, planning to plant a rumor of a really expensive jewel that will make Lord Denny seem suspiciously happy to further lead credence to the rumor of theft. Lil John, the cherub, dies horribly.

Inside the vault, the riches are arranged in shelves in perfect and precise order in one chamber. It’s clearly some form of labyrinth. In this other chamber, they hear a great roar from a silver dragon called Antonius who is chained to the wall. As they finally come upon the page, Dale’s cover is blown and he tries to escape. Merely touching the page makes Baxter a little confused, mumbling about the Blue King.

He immediately tries to flee with the page, leaving Dale inside the vault pursued by two of his cloud giant guards. Dale manages to convince one, Bremus, that he’ll help him take over the house. That guard kills the other one, Cassius, and frees Antonius. As Baxter calls out from beyond the door, his traitorous guard assures him that everything is ok. As soon as the door opens, Bremus attacks all the other guards, hoping to be backed up by Dale and Antonius. Antonius, not willing to be beaten back into slavery, flees the scene. Dale, meanwhile, flies up and steals the page back from Baxter and attempts to flee as well. Bremus, betrayed, is immediately set upon for his treachery.

The plan derailed, but is back on track. Dale has the page, but neither Roren nor Kreg are aware of the danger he is in.

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Contradicting Plans

Wednesday Group 6/8/16
In game date: 1/10

As they come upon Coral Keep, they save some Tritons from an attack by an Aboleth and SKUM. Their general tells us that we are to speak with the Royal Family and to try and convince the King to bring the army back to the city to protect them from the Priestess’ crab. He mentions that their army once numbered in the millions before the Weather Engine went off and killed a bunch of them.

They come up to a massive city of coral and are greeted by a ton of Tritons. They amass various forms of tribute: wine, food, magic healing, and an…abstract sculpture by Varia. Bibwit attempts to hide in a bag. They give their weapons over to some attendants.

As they talk to the king, he is very hostile, rejecting most of their gifts. His hostility is understandable, as many of his people were killed by the activation of the Weather Engine. He does not trust surface-dwellers as a result. But the scale of the threat convinces him to talk about the Blue Page.

The General tells them that he will give them the page in exchange for convincing the King to send the army north. He claims that the Queen has been acting erratically, but has been in charge of administration.

They meet the Queen and she has a plan to bring the army back to the capitol to fight the Blue Priestess with their full might. She offers the key to the page and a spell of Greater Teleport if things go south.

They prepare for the dinner with the king.

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Sold into Slavery

Saturday Group 6/11/16
In-game date 1/1-1/2

As they head west, they come across a hillbilly orangutan that demands to know their purpose. They knock him out and steal his piece of the elevator. Then they come across some ape band members and learn that they’ve gathered the rest of the pieces and have prepared a feast in Londontown. As they enter Fallcrest, a parade is prepared and confetti is being thrown and it’s generally a wonderful time. As they are given the pieces, they head on their way where they see two gibbons fight for the right to have sex with a lady gibbon.

Gullycloak remembers he has something to do and teleports away. As they go up into the clouds, it seems to be a wonderful paradise, with castles and unicorns, and ponies and such. They are being bid upon to be bought as slaves for the different houses. Dale tries to convince them to switch from bloodsport to baseball. Dale gets an insane bid of 4 million gold. Roren, greedy as always, tries to capitalize on his slavery, but does not get nearly as high of a bid.

House Mancini buys Roren and promises great riches and debauchery. House Baxter buys Dale and asks for his plans of how to start baseball and demands a team be put together in one month.

Roren escapes and collects Dale to go investigate a lead on the Blue Page in a different house, under the ruse of recruiting players for House Baxter’s baseball team.

As they go to different houses, Dale finds out the page is guarded by House Baxter. Roren is scolded for not pushing the boundaries of debauchery and being distracted. Dale meets the captain of the guard and is challenged to a spar. The guard fractures his leg and falls prone trying to catch Dale. After a pitched battle, Dale manages to make the captain give up.

As Roren and Dale go to their respective dinners, they convince their new masters to have dinner with each other the next night.

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Crashing the Crustacean

Wednesday Group 6/8/16
In game date: 1/10

Varia accepts the Priestess’s offer and joins her. The Priestess reneges on the deal and Varia attacks the Guardians. As they fight, the crab lurches around, throwing people around. The group gets ready to leave, in spite of Dakota’s protests. After being compelled to jump in, Dakota wedges the Guardian’s body into the door, preventing the door from shutting.

Finally, they escape, Dakota recovers from his compulsion and shut the hatch. They release the depth charges and blow the fuck out of the crab. They then ask a Guardian corpse with a spell where the page was, and it replies with Coral Keep.

They also learn that Bibwit was the familiar of Morael, who was using the Guardians of Lore. They also find out that Morael is trying to go to space and that might be why he MIGHT be working with the Blue King. But Morael doesn’t like working with other magic users, so this is really weird.

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Down Once More

Saturday Group 6/4/16
In-game date 1/1

Gullycloak jumps down into the hole. In the meantime, Lyra is trying to get through the horrible elemental storm. Dale tries to educate Lazar on the finer points of baseball. Roren and Kreg jump down the hole after Gullycloak. Roren gets pinned by some rocks and has Lucien slowly dig him out. They finally found Grimsbone’s undead head in a mass of limbs. As the group reunites at the top of the pit, they decide to head west towards the next part of the elevator. They fought off a plant creature and headed to the next part.

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Fetid Fecal Failure

Wednesday Group 6/1/16
In game date: 1/10

As the fight continues, Razzo tries to open the butt of the Guardian, and is covered in several liters of feces. After defeating the enemies, Razzo tries to sabotage the crab construct. As he sneaks around, he sees a bunch of creatures being dropped into acid and it seems to be powering the machine. He finds a creature with a bunch of tubes going into his body. Razzo creates some kind of leech robot and mixes it with the soupy omelet. Razzo tries to distract the guardians in the food room while Sanara pours the slush robot in the feeding tube. Razzo feels a compulsion to convince his allies to stay. Bibwit blows up the hole in the wall to increase their chances of escape.

As Sanara and Razzo struggle to get back in the sub, the rest of the group tries to fight off their enemies. Meera bungles a creature to fail. Sanara gets in and attacks Varia, while Razzo disables the sub.

Suddenly, the group’s outlook has taken a dire turn.

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Gemini Gets Gangstomped

Saturday Group 5/21/16
In-game date 1/1

Gullycloak wakes up Nitro and demands to know where they buried Grimsbone. Nitro claims that only Lazar knows and she’s dead now. They decide to track down Gemini. As they travel through the path, they are ambushed by some mushroom-headed creatures. They catch up to Gemini and pelt him with tentacles and stinking clouds. He vomits as he pleads for his life and gets pelted with arrows. As he dies, Gullycloak raises Lazar from the dead. They make a “promise” not to kill each other until they get to their destination. They get ambushed by ape zombies, but manage to avoid most of them. Lazar leads them back to the collapsed Castle Greyskull and says that she dropped the body down in the pits. Gullycloak manages to trick the pursuing zombies into digging a hole down into the pit once more to attempt to recover Grismbone’s body.

TL;DR We killed Gemini and Nitro and brought back Lazar because Gullycloak couldn’t let it go for like one day until we could sleep. So now we’re going down into the cave. Again.

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Under the Sea

Wednesday Group 5/18/16
In game date: 1/10

As they blast through the water, they find that they’re heading to Coral Keep. As they go to their various stations, they learn that the submarine is powered by a water elemental. As they hear battle to the NE, they head towards it. As they travel, they find out that Varia is heading in the wrong direction and change her station. They come across the Blue Priestess’ colossal crab construct and send a torpedo into it. They ram into the room and fight the Aboleth when the Blue Priestess shows up. She talks mad shit but upon further inspection, she’s naught but an illusion. The S.K.U.M., caught up in Black Tentacles and nukes, don’t last long. As we set off more explosives, dominated Guardians of Lore jump into the sub with us. Upon attacking Orin, acidic blood shoots out and covers them (unfortunately, Bibwit gets caught in the crossfire). Saved from melting by Fenrir, Bibwit turns himself invisible and steps out of the fracas.

Having stumbled upon this threat for the first time, the Saviors seem to be struggling for their lives. Will they emerge triumphant or will they rot in a murky grave at the bottom of the sea?

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The Magic Blighted Clearing

Saturday Group 5/14/16
In game: 1/1

As the group gets ambushed by the remaining champions, the Hatter and Dale crawl out of a pit, seemingly from nowhere (odd how they always show up at just the right time). Kreg, possibly spooked from near burial by his own bomb, skitters off into the woods. Hopefully he’ll show up again soon.

Nitro disappears almost immediately and begins pelting the group with arrows. Trying to control the situation, Roren lays down some tentacles and a stinking cloud to trap Blaze and Gemini. Blaze escapes and begins to attack Roren as Gullycloak, Reyes, and Dale try to locate and subdue Nitro. Suddenly, one of the Hatter’s infamous hats lands on Nitro’s head and suddenly the area is covered in some effect that suppresses magic. Roren and Blaze plummet to the ground and try to get out of the area of effect so they can kill each other. Hatter and Dale team up on Nitro, trying to kill her. Gullycloak desperately tries to revive Reyes, who has fallen victim to Nitro’s deadly assault, as he drags her out of the area of antimagic so he can heal her. Gemini, freed from imminent tentacle death and eternal nausea, flees into the woods. Roren manages to disable Blaze temporarily by causing his lips to be stitched together, sending his foe into intense confusion. Blaze rushes back into the antimagic field for backup and finds things have gone WAY south.

Reyes, revived, chases down Nitro (who realizes that now is the time to escape) and she tries to escape with Blaze, but is entangled in Gullycloak’s trusty net and she gets tied up. Blaze is captured, alive, as Gullycloak wishes to question him. Roren promises to Blaze for troubling them if he doesn’t give them any information about Grimsbone or the other Silotown Saviors’ whereabouts. Blaze quickly tries to weave a lie, trying to lead them into a trap, but Gullycloak sees through it and allows Roren the pleasure of eating Blaze. Dale is naturally appalled by Roren’s perverse glee, but Gullycloak and Roren reassure him that he is an enemy and dead already. Roren adds that it’s a waste of good meat. Dale warns Roren that he’s watching Roren for misbehavior, but the creep just cackles and goes back to his meal.

As they decide to rest in the antimagic field, knowing that it seems to be the safest place against the spellcaster champion, Gemini, Reyes offers to take watch so the spellcasters can regain their stamina. With Nitro unconscious and Blaze neutralized, only Gemini and the many dangers of the jungle remain before the search for the elevator pieces can really begin anew.

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Shuffling Below the Shaft

Saturday Group 5/7/16
In game: 1/1

They journey down the hole in the skeleton hill, as Gullycloak refuses to believe that his comrades (and more importantly, Grimsbone) are dead. As Gullycloak traverses down the shaft, he manages to find himself surrounded by hordes of the undead. Managing to evade them, he realizes that the pit is a shrine to the Undead Prince, Orcus. He cries Grimsbone’s name out in vain, as the not-so-gentle giant is nowhere to be found.

Meanwhile, Kreg, Roren, Slugtusk and Reyes explore the other path, finding naught but gross insects and a morally corrupting rope. In his haste, Kreg destabilizes a major load-bearing wall with one of his concoctions, and the building begins to collapse. As they realize what’s going on, the group rushes to escape the pit. Gullycloak gives one last look and prayer for Grimsbone before fleeing as well.

As they leave the hill pit, they are ambushed by the remaining champions all at once. Almost as if the contest was taking longer than anticipated and needed to be wrapped up for some cosmic reason beyond their control. What will happen next?

TL;DR We went down into Castle Greyskull, didn’t find anything, and got ambushed by the champions. Roll for initiative!

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