Wasteland Campaign

Pooping on the Populace

Wednesday 10/14/2015
In-game date 12/9-12/13

The group does a little shopping trip for various things such as paint and ghost stories, before they go off to Oasis to deal with a Varia problem. They will then move to intercept the prison caravan and hopefully intercept the Priestess of the Blue King. Garth asks one of the Bards about the Protean tracking Ziggy in a town called philphia. He also talks with them about the Priestess of the Blue King, who is raiding villages by the coast on her way to O.S., targeting anyone who doesn’t serve the Blue King. Philphia is 3.5 days north of Bloodcorn and populated by half-orcs, it sucks there and they eat sand algae. Orlaaz reveals that the Cyclowhip has a new coat of paint.

On the evening of 12/9, Garth completes the cloak for Sanaura. On 12/10, they come across a caravan, they find a bodyguard with an iron gauntlet. They find nothing magic in the caravan, but the gauntlet is able to meld to a severed arm and work as a stronger version of that arm.

Sanaura and Raven overhear what seem to be cultists of the Blue King.

On the day of 12/11, A sweet jump is made and they make it to the coast. Garth finishes his leeching book and learns a wealth of information. They manage to make it to Oasis. Garth learns that the Kingdom of Hampton was in the southwest, so that might be a good place to start with his search for Rihann’s artifacts. They learn that Oasis is home to gladiator battles and some of the party bet on the battles. Orlaaz offers to replace the bookie with a machine and makes some money off the fights. They go to the inn, which Orlaaz graciously pays for. Sanaura learns that monks are going around killing those with the Blue King symbols.

On the day of 12/12, Razzo fishes out some crabs and the townspeople react weirdly. The townspeople demand that they leave the town immediately. Razzo poops on the steps and Varia poops on the leader of the town. They then leave the town immediately.

Day of 12/13, Garth completes the engineering gloves for Orlaaz. 12/14 comes and the group are met with Batmen of the Gilded Dawn who want to negotiate a deal to get into Ocular Superiority’s lair. But we have to send out a symbol to the wasteland by aligning with the Gilded Dawn. As such, Quhan would be extremely peeved. They ultimately decide to align with the Gilded Dawn. They mention that they live in the Seacrest Mountains. Prisontown sends slaves into the lair to make the shells, if we sneak into the warehouse, we can use an empty shell to sneak into O.S.’s lair.

Drowning in the Dark
The best-laid plans of Harsk and Luca are still really dumb

Saturday game: 10/10/2015
In-game date 12/16-12/24

Spoilers: We lost a drillcar, but that trident is banging!

Harsk and Luca build a bathtub that manages to float in their attempt to float their way down to the Life Engine. They meet a man with bodyguards wearing iron gauntlets.that sells them some swamp shoes and top hat that seemed to dispense endless wolverines. He seemed to worship the Blue King and told them a parable of how awesome the Blue King is.

A few days later as they are travelling, Harsk manages to crash the bathtub and also loses his bitching plate mail. Three men get sucked into quicksand-like pits, they also come across a sand spider and eat like kings. Harsk sends the spider carcass through for Dale’s enjoyment

At nighttime, they meet a man in a bee suit. He says there’s a land in the south that’s very hot, dominated by the damned demons, a peninsula of Zorbon. The Mouth of Zorbon will eat you up. All hell is waiting for those who travel Zorbon’s land by demons. He says there was once a great kingdom with food as far as the eye can see. After the world ended, Zorbon showed up, so he’s been around for awhile. On the night of 12/22, they pull the drillcar through.

The next day, the drillcar manages to fill up with water. They manage to escape, but lose the drillcar. They then have to travel for 2.5 days on a forced march. As they slowly started to make their way, the water overtakes them and they begin to drown as their strength fails them after 24 hours straight of walking. Harsk realizes there is no way to save Luca and himself and bitterly decides to leave the man who almost became a slave with him behind, praying to Cayden Cailean for the strength to survive. Luca prays to the Blue King for the strength to live as the water fills his lungs, his face begins to morph into a fishy visage and the trident propels him through the water and he saves Harsk’s life. They manage to survive their harrowing ordeal and Harsk passes out, noticing that Luca’s visage and forehead seem warped by the blue symbol much like the cultists’ faces were. As the darkness overtakes him, he resolves to tell Gullycloak about it.

Once he wakes up, they attempt to board a log and use the trident to get to the peninsula. They begin to head down to the Life Engine. They see a ton of activity in the air as they travel down and avoid it. At night, Harsk tells Silotown about the events of the past week and that Gullycloak needs to fix this problem ASAP or Silotown will be in grave danger. He also retrieves the orb needed to activate the Life Engine along with some torches.

12/24 dawns and they are followed by some wolf-headed demonic creatures. They seem to have some sort of natural camouflage, but Harsk is barely able to see their shimmering forms against the desert sand. He manages to kill one of them, but the other manages to escape, leaving a trail of footprints away from them. Harsk deduces that it was probably a scouting team of Zorbon’s and that they should get out of there before more show up.

They manage to make it to a collection of dark spires emerging from the ground that seem man-made. They seem to have found the Life Engine, thanks to Luca’s mystical guidance. They see multiple entrances and enter one. As they see the stairs leading deep into the ground, they look to each other and then back to the hole.

Ziggy' musically keyed lair
bowie time

Wednesday 10/10/2015
In-game date: 12/8-12/9

We all portal back to silo town, Orlaaz sets up the silo town library. Bard Ross draws infinite rats. Wing babe and cat babe plot plots. Razzo communes with his captured spirits. Turns out all the merchants have iron hand monks. We set out for Rat town following Varia. We arrive in Renninn, place looks like day after outdoo music festival. We go to shady bar. The rats are kinda hive mind-y. Varia confronts Steve Albertson. Steve suggests Reginald Fullbright, “he’s the real threat!” We head to the purported concert location. The expansive underground hallway has chimes, first room has gibbering mouthers. They are quickly dispatched. Razzo introduced his alpha, a small robo car that blares the ghostbusters theme, oh Ralph. Room two has falling rocks. Room three has poison darts. The rooms become too complicated for me to note in accurate detail. Then constructs appear! They berate us for not understanding the confusing ding dong noises in the maze. We destroy them. Floor fires! Owie! Stone shape cheating through blocked off doors! We listen. We kill monkeys. Garth’s elementals make gross monkey mummy’s. We listen some more. We are very confused. Then we figure some shit out and make it to our private rock show. "Prisoning the blue king with the pages, can a god ever die? The elder councils his buddy red. Good dragons slain, red dragon alexstrosa is her name. Elder starting the right wars. Will the dark tide “conspiracy” flow. Meeting of friends. To decide the end of the world. Dark secrets with her would lie, elder makes machines. She brings the world straight to hell. Lightning striking the fish men. Humans burning everything." After the song we ask ziggy a bunch of questions to which he replied with questions. Then we got fed by the maze chef! JalapeƱo poppers!

Another AMAZING session in the church
Just filling in the blanks from the previous post.

On the way out of the temple, Kreg and Gullycloak explore a few rooms that face out into the huge chasm. In one they find a bejewelled Dragon skull on a pedestal underneath a Glass bell jar with religious markings on it. Once Gullycloak determines that the markings are not of Ashava he proceeds to smash the glass, releasing the Dragon Skull Lich. Magic doesn’t work on this guy. Kreg and Gullycloak attempt to use what remaining spells they have to combat it, but ultimately, nothing can touch him. Harsk fires an arrow that the Lich ignores completely as his attention is preoccupodo with trying to kill Kreg. Kipp, Harsk, and Knock-Knock abandon their friends to death by soul consumption as they flee the dungeon. They get out and set up camp. Knock Knock makes some action figures and replays all the bad choices Kreg and Gullycloak made earlier in the day. Kreg seals Gullycloak and himself in an airless pocket of the wall. After reviving Gullycloak, they try again to affect it with spells to no avail. Gullycloak realizing that death is coming, and that he has no room to dance, does the only logical thing, and sends a summoned frog to Ichabod w/ message. They get an air supply, and go to sleep. In the morning the two small creatures put together an explosive plan, and set about putting it into motion. The two hide themselves from undead, set up a massive pile of bombs, landmines, and then summoned a batch of frogs to get the Lich’s attention. In a very bored fashion the Skull floats over and begins pitching the frogs into the chasm…. Just as Kreg launches a rocket into the pile. the ensuing blast melted frog, skull, gem, and edge of the chasm alike, smashing fragments of lich against the opposite wall. The frog and monkey high five each other, and Gullycloak returns briefly to collect some of the skull and gem fragments to consecrate later. When they return to camp, Gullycloak agrees to remove the curse from Knock-Knock provided he becomes a follower of Ashava, and agrees to perform the ceremonial ritual to become a full fledged priest of the Goddess of Moon, Darkness, and Dance.

Yet Another Session in the Fricking Church
Told you we shouldn't explore any further, but NOOOO

In-game 12/15-12/16

Kreg and Gullycloak climb down the crevasse and come upon an encrusted dragon skull that seems to come to life and threatens to devour the souls of everyone in the realm. Harsk fires off an arrow to draw his attention. Knock Knock and Kipp manage to make themselves invisible and try to hide. Harsk sees that the situation is hopeless and flees. Gullycloak falls down the crevasse surrounded by oozes. Kreg attempts to jump on the skull and falls, but manages to melt the wall. Harsk, during his flight, comes across one of the oozes and throws some gold to distract the ooze with noise.

As Kreg revives Gullycloak, his frog friend slowly starts to suffocate. Kreg is giving him mouth to mouth to keep him alive. Harsk attempts to climb the rope out of the hole and falls down. He manages to climb up the rope after much effort. Harsk, Knock Knock, and Kipp manage to reconvene at the bluff and try to stay hidden.

Knock Knock realizes that he’s turning into a mindless minotaur and shares a touching moment with Kipp, learning he has six weeks at most. On 1/26, he’ll turn into a minotaur. The group decides to go to sleep and wait for a day or two for Gullycloak and Kreg to return.

Kreg and Gullycloak try to set a trap for the skull. They manage to build a large pile of bombs which explode the dragon skull and create a large crater. Gullycloak promises to remove the curse.

It Takes a Lot of Beef to Crush a Soul

Wednesday Group
In game date: 12/7-12/8.

The group manages to disassemble the Grinder and bring the hurt people down to the town. Stone manages to come back with a list of the dead people for Razzo.

A bard, named Lewis the Black, tells them that they should definitely go to Ziggy’s concert and that the concert will be legendary. He tells them that there’s a great inventor with O.S. On the first floor, statues of petrified people litter the floor. Morlocks everywhere. Eyes that follow you on the walls, no stairs in the entire complex. The inventor, along with other inventors, are in the 1st basement making anti-air cannons and minecarts. On the fifth floor, you can’t see. On the first and second floor there are shit-tons of Morlocks.

Another man named Earl comes up and says he has allies who want to take down O. S., called the Gilded Dawn, headed for a convoy near Prisontown. Garth remembers that Quhan was not a fan of Gilded Dawn. The convoy comes by very regularly.

They decide to go to sleep, and Bloodcorn promises to save some Bloodcorn for Silotown as agreed. Orlaaz attempts to find the shortest woman, Renee Jane, and they spend the night together. The day of 12/8 dawns. They make it to Tallus by the end of the day. They go into the bar and try to overhear the gnomes’ conversation.

In an invent-off, the gnome and Orlaaz compete to create the best vibrator. (Yeah, I didn’t think I’d ever write that down.) The genius inventor notes that any images that the eyes see will show up on Ocular Superiority’s “cameras” that he’ll be distracted by. They manage to separate the douche from the genius and add Nick the gnome to their party.

Oozy Observations

Saturday game 9-26-15
Ingame date 12/15

Seymour, Whisper, Knock-Knock, and Pilgrim move to the Temple of the Blue King. On the way, they come across a Swamp monster tries to rip Knock-Knock’s head off while he tells a funny joke about surgeons and fish.
They manage to catch up to the regular Group and go down the hole where they see the group gathered around the ooze-like creature. Pilgrim floats down the hole and Knock-Knock falls down and nearly killed himself from the fall damage.

Knock Knock nearly dies from the ooze and Pilgrim points his staff at the ooze and causes it to explode. Gullycloak heals Knock Knock. As they travel down the different paths, they get attacked by multiple oozes.

They find little alcoves behind religious symbols and find little treasures. Pilgrim gets himself trapped in what seems to be an alternate plane. They finally manage to rejoin each other and move through various other rooms. They find that the Temple seems to be formerly dedicated to St. Cuthbert. Luca nearly falls to his death but Gullycloak summons an eagle which manages to push Luca into the wall and allows him to survive. Seymour also falls and gets impaled on the wall.

They all manage to get back together and find some scrolls that seem to be different from the others. They also find a weird frog that talks to Kreg and gives him a chance to have any question answered. The frog merges with Kreg’s body and speaks to him telepathically. They finally found the pages and leave the dungeons.

British Urkel is Harry Potter
It makes just as much sense in context

Wednesday Group 9/23/15
In-game 12/7

The group heads up the mountain and meets a man named Stone who wishes to take their names down in preparation for their funeral. The group heads up the mountains and kills some ogres. A stone wall appears in front of the cave and an illusion appears, threatening them.

After they defeat all the ogres, they are led by the remaining ogres through the cave and move past all the traps. They see a thing called the Grinder that turns people into healing potions. Garth learns that the souls of the grinded are stored in the Grinder and can be released.

As Garth does so, Razzo wrangles them into a contraption, which upsets Garth greatly. But Razzo manages to convince Garth that the ghosts would not be safe down here and Garth relents.

Fiery Fanatical Fishy Fry

Saturday Group 9/19/2015
In-game Date 12/15

Kreg starts off the battle by melting the roof of the church and jumping in, afterwards accidentally setting the church on fire with a chandelier. Harsk smashes the door easily with his Thunderclaw, Kipp creates an illusion of a giant Goblin sushi chef and then burninates most of the innocents, breaking Paula Priestess’ wall of swirling daggers and knocking her prone. Gullycloak covers the area in darkness. Owl-bear punching guy leaves after being mistreated by Kipp one too many times.

The priestess pretends to surrender and fires a blast of cold air at them. Harsk manages to dodge completely, jumping off the dais. As she continues cursing, Harsk moves and slices her head in half. Gullycloak starts making a lot of “Blue” puns.

They move further into the church. There is a painting of an underwater seascape, immaculately done. Harsk ruins it, per usual. They find tons of crates of various religious garb, symbols, etc. Harsk suggests they throw a bomb down to scare off the monster so it doesn’t attack Gullycloak as he goes down the hole. The ooze-like creature attacked Gullycloak and Kreg as they try to defend themselves. After being stuck in battle with a perpetually-reviving ooze for a while, the group split up and searched the different halls in a race to find the pages.

Travelling to Bloodcorn

Wednesday Group 9/16/2015
*ingame 12/2- 12/7

The group gets the same speech as the Saturday group. I’m not writing it again. Just go look at that post. The group decides to go to the one in the Underdark. A man made of gold walks into town. We are invited to Rennen to a concert by Ziggy the bard. They talk to another bard named King Prescott, he sings a song about a land to the west, an eldritch machine that has been unearthed by seismic activity. He’s the King of Rock and Roll.

There are also a lot of prisoners and they also split up the dinosaurs. Shimdot takes the extra PCs out into the waste to take over Dak’thar’s territory. They send some dinosaurs to the Iron Mountain and Quhan as a show of good faith and thanks.

They decide to head to the gnome hole. Garth makes Luca his endless bandolier. 1st day passes. Hammergulch has a fungal mine that is protected by lizard people. 2nd day passes. 3rd day passes. Garth upgrades his cloak of resistance. 4th day passes.

They make it to Bloodcorn after a bunch of sweet jumps. They hear screams. They decide to fuck over Peaches and the family. The Bloodcorn screams really loud and it is sentient.


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