Wasteland Campaign

Reaching the Chateau of Ponce

Wednesday Group: 1/6/15
In game date: 1/3

Garth manages to summon an Elemental to catch and deposit Varia and Sanura, while Fenrir catches Eliana. Lyra wildshapes into an eagle. Sanura unclips herself from Varia. Fenrir puts Eliana on the ground and Razzo and Dakota ascend. Garth casts a wall of fire, but it seems to have no affect.

Other characters try to catch up to everyone fighting the archon. Dakota throws a rock and Garth’s elemental dies, but he lands on the higher ledge. A bunch of earth elementals pummel and grapple the trumpet archon. Dakota keeps climbing while Lyra’s eagle makes it to the ledge. Dakota takes a lightning bolt to the back. Burning oil hits the party several times. The elementals pin her and keep gangstomping her. Hiita shoots it with a scorching ray and Varia slices it up. Sanura dodges a lightning bolt. More boiling oil. More gangstomping. The trumpet archon starts falling into Ponce. Razzo drops his vulture on top of the trumpet archon. Everybody keeps moving up. Dakota reached the chateau.

Everybody keeps moving up. They start hearing commotion proclaiming the approach of Gabriel. Varia and Sanura make it up to the top. The archangel, Gabriel, claims that it doesn’t matter as long as they aren’t evil or carrying anything evil.

They see a manor, ruled by Lord Tyrus, beautiful paradise as far as the eye can see. They promise that they’ll feed the party. They remember the burning of our empire 100 years go. They go to Lord Tyrus’ manor. They are given various sundries and minor stuff. The year 0, Reznak killed a green dragon. 36 br, he was sworn to this house. the ghost butler, Winford, talks about his lady, Vashara. Wilfred takes them on a tour. They are in the Golden Peaks. Plague decimates, Gabriel learns about leaching, and Michael sacrifices himself to fight the pestilence. Vashara learns she could de-age herself in a fountain of youth (probably why Alistair is here). Vashara makes bargain with devils, but gives devil political positions, and makes town of Tarathel. Armin, king of Hampton, made a campaign against Vashara and failed in 760 BR, using leached weapons such as a whip from Vashara’s pit fiend general, who he did manage to defeat. During the war of Kings, The church of Bahamut in the land of Lorezarath, Davell shows up with the body of Vashara. Civil war and such killed tons, and he died himself eventually. Razzo strips for some reason and jabs himself with something. Vishara apparently disappears from politics. Davell possesses the broken body of Vashara. Sleeper agents fuck shit up.

King James, lord of Lorezaroth, upon being named King, lost the faith of the peasants. There is an empire of Levathus, highly against magic in general. Rebels, known as son of Levathus, were being fought by King James. He wed Lady Vashara. He wasn’t popular, but was able to defend himself with powerful magic weapons. Sons of Levathus eventually defeated him anyway. Versol, the first emperor of Levathus, hates everything extraplanar and tried to free Michael. Vashara found a gate to hell by stealing tech from gnomes, tied her life to the gate. Michael is imprisoned to this day, powering the Fountain of Youth, Vashara has been using him for a thousand years. James was captured a long time ago and was imprisoned for a while, but James was freed when Versol was assassinated. Nobles were dispossessed of magic and decided to free James as a result. James died of natural causes. Nobody has been successful in infiltrating the Fountain of Youth.

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Red Raining Rudolph

Saturday Group 1/02/15
In game: 12/25

The Hatter rides in over the ice. Kreg heals Harsk and catches Dale’s thrown sword with his tail. The Hatter begins to sing and Gullycloak attempts to shoot off Rudolph’s nose. The reindeer keep trying to attack Gully and the plush attack Dale as he feels compelled to lay down. Kreg blows up the big bear and Dale creates some mirror images.

Gullycloak goes for cover and heals himself. Hatter throws a hat and puts one of the plush toys to sleep. Kreg heals Harsk to consciousness. Harsk kills the rest of the tiny plush toys. They decide to go back and help Gullycloak. They open the door and see Gullycloak riding a reindeer. Hatter puts two more to sleep, but they start pushing the door closed.

Kreg opens the other door, some crazy machine is wrappin presents in the room. Gullycloak is attempting to wrench off Rudolph’s nose. Harsk smashes the door. Kreg meets some elves after he disguises himself as an elf. He pretends that they’re putting on a Christmas play. The wrapping machine starts to move towards the Hatter. The machine wraps up Harsk and Dale. Harsk breaks out of the paper, but gets scooped up with Dale and Kreg onto the train.

Gully “promises” to remove the wrench from Rudolph’s nose if they decide to trust him. Gully betrays the reindeer, they go crazy. Harsk and Dale jump off the train, while Kreg goes bouncing around the room like crazy. Kreg tries to convince the elves that they need the orb. They call in the Krampus.

Rudolph’s nose gets ripped straight off as Gullycloak truly wanted. Kreg organizes the play, and Krampus demands that they entertain him. Dale sodomizes a toy doll in his role of the “bad boy.” He also kills two elves with scorching rays. Gully kills Donner. Krampus enjoys Dale’s performance greatly.

Hatter, in the meantime, jumps onto the train to try to catch up with everyone. Kreg and Harsk go off to find Santa. Gully plants his holy symbol into Rudolph’s face, thoroughly confusing the poor creature.

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The Night Santa Went Crazy
Reindeers, and Plush dolls, and circle-jerks, oh my!

Saturday Group: 12/19/2015
In game date: 12/25

The dwarf whines about how scary rats are. They kill the rats and go through the trap door. They open the door and see some chaps in the pub hiding from the zombies. They ask the group to protect them. The group starts slashing, burning, and shadowing the zombies. They then kill the zombies and begin to see the sky.

The group sees the prairie begin to become a tropical forest. The civilian group runs off. Two small dudes with pointy ears in red and green felt outfits appear in front of them. They tell us that we need to save Christmas and that we need to head to stop Santa Claus from killing everyone. Says there is a snowglobe that corrupted Santa and everyone is building toys that will hurt all the children. A confetti of snowflakes appears and they show up in an igloo. And they are given parkas to avoid the freezing cold.

The group is told that they are up against red guards and Dennis sacrifices himself to give Kreg some sweet boots. Kreg gets some frostbitten toes and they make it to a mountain covered in frosting and candy canes. Something comes barrelling through the ground towards them. Some kind of snow worm attacks them. Harsk slashes it, and Dale shoots some rays at it. Harsk gets bitten really hard and he collapses. Dale shoots it and they heal Harsk. They walk hand in hand and make it to the front door. They open the door and it seems nice and bright like daylight. Some ice men begin to attack them. They attack and Kreg punctures one’s buttcheeks. Gully sneaks ahead to scout. Dale kills it with a shocking grasp. Dale slides across the ice. Inside the room are 9 reindeer and 6 small elves. These guys seem hostile as well and grapple Dale and Kreg, but Harsk knocks them unconscious. The reindeer were cheering the elves on.

They start telling the party that they are naughty and attack the party. Harsk goes to another door and sees a workshop as all of the fighting is going on behind him. Three elves are in a circle and they’re messing around with their icy genitals. Harsk demands to see Santa and they freak out. Dale tries to convince the reindeer and they whisper amongst themselves of the Krampus. Kreg is sabotaging Santa’s sleigh.

They start getting swarmed by plush dolls, Harsk and Dale attack them. Some plush dolls try to compel them. Kreg and Gullycloak attempt to shoot off Rudolph’s nose. Harsk starts to attack the big teddy bear, while Dale feels compelled to lay down, but eventually gets up as the plush dolls attempt to gangstomp him. Harsk gets the smackdown laid on him and goes unconscious.

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Ponce's Angels

Wednesday Group
In game date 1/2-1/3

Dakota goes to the well to collect his barrel of water from the people of Ponce. Everything here seems extremely pristine. Brother Franklin welcomes them and thanks them for helping out with the ants. Mentions that there are angels nearby. Alistair did come through here, he tried to climb the cliff.

Several of the party go to the spa and see an elvish bard with clipped ears. She tells them there is a chateau atop the cliff where no fighting happens. Eliana recognizes when they talk about Alistair. Dakota boils down his water and Varia attempts to convince Fenrir to join his budding corporation, Fenrir plans to have some sort of merchant meeting on 1/16. They spend the night. At midnight, Mayor Hal gives them some rates on mercs. Fire Guild said 6k/month, Stone Guild said 3k/month, we immediately vetoed the Water Guild. The Formians offered their help in exchange for sugar. The Berserkers offered help in exchange for “keggers and fine honeys.” For the moment, they decide to hire the Fire Guild. Jerome, Razzo’s servant joins the group and immediately slices open his arm. Jerome drinks all of the sap and begins shimmering and screaming. Something starts coming out of his mouth, seems to be a clone of Jerome. Razzo and Fenrir slice open his arm again.
Razzo does some weirdly threatening thing to Sanura during the night.

1/3 dawns. They start flying up. Part of the group tells the archons that they mean no harm. The archons begin to attack the group. They get grappled, shot, and Razzo burns the townspeople. Hiita destroys the lantern archons with a massive fireball. Another arrow flare goes up. The group beats up the legion archons more. An aasimar claims that he’s summoned her. Dakota tells him not to be a dick.

A beautiful woman carrying a trumpet tells them to leave. Garth summons a bearded devil to attack the trumpet archon. She banishes it immediately. The rest of the group keep pelting the archon with attacks. Dakota drops an aasimar off the cliff. The archon blows her trumpet and paralyzes Sanura, Eliana, and Varia and they begin to fall.

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Escape from the Life Engine Part 3: Three's Company
Seriously, this dice must have some kind of blessing on it

Saturday group 12/12
In game date: 12/25

Kreg manages to catch up to the party in the bazaar. Hatter pets his new gerbil friend, which immediately betrays him. Yertyl the gerbil had betrayed his only friend and was destroyed for his insolence. Kreg moves up to the stairs behind the party. Hatter detects some secret doors in the ceiling. Kreg is being followed by the zombie horde, and picks up the zombie head, moving up to the party. Kreg tries to blast the zombie hand off his leg. Kreg sees the Hatter for the first time.

Harsk blends some zombies. Hatter summons a swarm of monkeys that try to tabletop the zombies. Harsk blends the rest of the horde attacking them. Kreg and Hatter climb up the rope. Harsk and Dale get grappled but break out. Kreg gets the zombie arm off his leg. Dale and the dwarf hide in this bucket crane thing. As they attempt to sleep, a giant Undead Titan centipede crashes through the stairwell. The centipede goes after Dale and dwarf and they escape up the hatch into the tavern after fighting some zombies.

Kreg distracts the centipede with a bomb and the centipede comes back to check out Harsk, Kreg and Hatter’s hiding place. Eventually, the scratching stops and the group goes to sleep.

They wake and they feed the centipede the laser zombie head. It starts wildly writhing and vomiting up the rope. The group drinks some tea as they wait for it to die from the laser damage. Kreg drops down and attempts to inject the centipede. Harsk drops and bisects the centipede. They gather up the gold and zombie head and start to reunite with Dale. Dale tells them that there are rats up above the tavern.

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Heading on to Ponce
AAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNTTTTTTTSSSSS

Wednesday Group
In-game date: 12/27-1/2

At midnight, the group opens up the portal. Several of the new members question where all the gold came from. Hal gets a new arm of Ing and converts to Ing.

Razzo convinces Varia to invest in his cybernetics venture and Orlaaz decides to build a garage in Silotown. The mayor of Smoked Clam village talks to them. Mentions that a guy named Alistair was heading to the mountains. We eat his clams. Mentions that Smoked Clam village is 14 squares NE on the coast. He was headed to mountains and saw some angelic-looking monsters. They decide to save one more town in Stonehan and then head to Alistair’s location.

Razzo does a sweet wheelie.

The next morning, they travel. During the night, they see rocky desert as far to the north and east as can be seen. Razzo attempts to capture some ghosts, and captures a vulture instead. He rejoices. Jesse from the Fire Guild in Dogtown, they worship a tree and drink it’s sap. It heals all ailments and even regrows limbs. Also causes hallucinations. He mentions that he’ll be able to get some help for Silotown.

1/1 dawns. Razzo captures a warrior ghost. Sanura sips the sap, she starts having some interesting hallucinations.

1/2 dawns. Razzo believes that she is having two sets of thoughts going at the same time. They make it to the mountain range and see a huge waterfall with the town of Ponce surrounding it. They come across something kicking up dust. Seems like a line of ants. They want sugar. Sanura randomly sings about sugar and starts swinging her sword wildly. Ants wither, get smashed, get charred and melted, and such.

They see a man with a wagon drawn by two majestic stallions. He is crazy tall, wearing a leather unitard and a polearm. He has a big head and small horns with golden horncaps. He claims to have sugar. The ants take the sugar wagon. They no longer seem hostile. Razzo begins dancing and the mysterious cowman, Dakota, joins them. They head to Ponce, a bunch of white-robed people surround a pool of water.

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Escape from the Life Engine Part 2: Electric Boogaloo
Seriously, like 7 critical hits for Harsk. He was blessed this day.

Saturday 12/5/2015
In game date: 12/25

As they look around, they see that they are not the only ones going through an ordeal. In the large room, they see dead bodies and dead hamster creatures. The elevator is gone and the door is being barricaded. They hear scratching and zombie noises coming from down in the hole. The piles of dead bodies seem to be moving and Harsk starts chopping away at the bodies, horrifying everyone. Several men attempt to stop Harsk and fail miserably, as all of the bodies begin to spring to life. Gullycloak attempts to see if the wheel/elevator is fixable, it isn’t and moves towards the door. Hatter tries to find some secret doors and finds none. Dale tries to convince the people to open up the barricade. One of Hatter’s mirror images disappears in a puff of smoke from a zombie attack. Various limbs attack the party. Gullycloak heals Dale as his mirror images start being destroyed.

The Hatter keeps searching for hidden doors as he moves towards the door. One of the giant gerbils moves toward the party. Harsk cartwheels past all the zombies and moves up the ramp. Gerbils bites away one of Hatter’s images. Hatter creates more images, as a zombie takes out another image. Dale creates more mirror images. Harsk manages to avoid a devastating critical with a critically successful acrobatic back hand spring. Dale tries to convince the guy to open the door. Harsk attempts to smash down the door and opens a big hole, seeing zombies as far as the eye can see. Gullycloak channels darkness and kills nearly all the zombies in a 30 foot radius.

The door smashes open and the zombies start to overflow the area. A shitload of flies burst out of the Hatter’s mouth. Dale uses a shocking grasp and kills the hamster. Harsk kills many of the zombie horde and Gullycloak climbs above the door and hides from the undead. The horde envelops the dwarves and Harsk. The dwarf sweepers are completely torn apart. Hatter runs into the swarm, hoping to be protected from the undead by Gullycloak. Harsk, in a berserker fury, manages to destroy the horde with alarming brutality. Gullycloak moves through the door. One zombie gets a hat put on him and lasers begin firing out of his eyes. The group gets a crazy dangerous idea. Gullycloak finds a gem and takes a nice stone bowl. Dale tries to grab the head of the zombie and manages to blast himself in the chest with a laser. Hatter finds a kiosk and takes tons of spices. Harsk grapples the laser zombie and plans to rip its head off.

Gully goes to a leather kiosk and finds some nice pouches and other stuff. Harsk rips the head off the zombie and blasts the moving zombie parts as he moves past the door. Gully finds some more stuff, like clothes and such. The zombies begin to reanimate and move slowly towards Harsk. The Hatter detects secret doors all over the place. Giant plants cover the bazaar. Gullycloak takes the bag of holding. Dale says that he’s super awesome. They hear sound coming from the stairs above and another zombie horde moving up towards them. Harsk tries to hand off the skull to one of Dale’s clones and it drops down the stairs. Harsk breaks through the door and they hear the familiar sound of shuffling zombies. A hat turns a zombie gerbil into something that loves him. Harsk kills the other zombie gerbils. Hatter throws a hat onto one of the zombies, turning it into a French sounding beautiful man.

Gullycloak has been looting various stores, honestly, I lost track of everything he stole. The zombies smash the rest of the bazaar.

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GAMBLING TIME!
And we blew up the transport system too, I guess

Wednesday 11/25/2015
In game date: 12/25-12/27

They travel to Stonefug/GobVegas and rest for the night. In front of them, the ground is basically solid rock. They see human size statues. They remember the cockatrice. Varia flies over and sees some arenas and networks of caves filled with cockatrices. Goblins everywhere.

The goblins ask if they are there for the cockatrice fights. The Flock controls the town directly for Cobalt Lightning, demon-aligned Harpies. They find out there is a cave directly under the coliseum, they’re told to bet on Redbeak.
At midnight, they’re told that the Batmen left because they’re unrealistic douchenozzles. We asked for Mayor Hal to take down the glyphs. And also Ocular Superiority sent a skinned Cyclops statue, saying that the group will face retribution, blah blah blah.

During the night, a fell wind appears and five women show up and take the statues, including a very attractive man with slicked black hair. We believe he is a demon. He loads up a few, and destroys the rest. He approaches the party and calls himself the Ladykiller. He claims that he has a harem of Harpies.

In the morning of 12/26, Garth and Hiita learn that the Flock is made of Harpies. Garth sees the cave is filled with gold, cockatrices, goblins, kobolds, and a pillar. The group starts going around and betting.

The mayor of Smoked Clam village, the treasurer of Doomwake Cinders, and the Ladykiller are all coming to see the fights. Garth finds out that Redbeak is the favorite to win and he realizes that it should be the one he charms into submission.

Apparently, the Ladykiller has eyes for Garth. Garth charms the cockatrice and they win tons of money. His earth elementals destroy the obelisk underneath the stadium. They go to the inn.

During the night, Sanura drinks with some pirate-looking guys from Smoked Clam. During the night, Garth has a magical experience and wakes up a changed man. They head in for breakfast. Garth notices the Ladykiller is a succubus and looks unsettlingly familiar. She hits on Garth relentlessly and challenges them to a battle asking for Garth if she wins, and gold if they succeed.

During the fight, Sanura is dominated and tries to convince the party to give up. Garth summons some hound archons to beat the shit out of the monster. Bets were made and a moral victory happened as well. The succubus then cursed Garth’s dick to forever remain dry (no seriously, we might need a remove curse on this one.)

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Can You Ever Be TOO Deep?
Getting Off Of The Shaft

Saturday Group 11/21/2015
In game date: 12/25

As the mold is growing very quickly, a purple swirl of smoke appears in a corner of the room. A human? sitting at the table drinking tea with the skeletal remains of hare and dormouse. The giant immediately looks at him. The human? takes his hat off and throws it at the giant, he calls himself the Hatter.

The vegetation begins to grow into flowers and taking over half of the room. Some spores cover the party in yellow. The chairs and rugs begin to attack the party. Luca gets stomped by the creature and is knocked unconscious. The Hatter continues speaking poetry and creates seven mirror images. Several members book it towards the door. Harsk breaks down the door and Luca slowly bleeds out. A mechanical facsimile of Luca remains as Gullycloak is pinned. Harsk manages to rescue Luca, and Dale gets bodied by furniture. Gullycloak heals Dale, but gets grappled as well. Harsk manages to destroy all the furniture and frees the rest of the party. Gullycloak heals his mecha leg.

The room is being vastly overgrown by trees and vegetation. The group makes their way up the trees. They find that all of the bodies seem to be coming back to life. The Hatter turns one of the zombies into a beautiful maiden, which starts making out with the other zombie. Several of them fall during their climb. The dwarves are losing their battle against the zombies. Gullycloak gets his neck bitten by the zombies, and Harsk drops down and uses the momentum to launch himself to Gullycloak’s side. Harsk immediately gets mobbed by zombies, but murders them immediately. Dale heals Gullycloak and follows Harsk up the trees, and Gullycloak makes it up the trees. Harsk finally reaches the top of the shaft. Luca joins him, but Dale falls into unconsciousness. The Hatter manages to shock himself and damages himself. Gully makes it up to the top as well as the Hatter. Only Dale is being pulled up the shaft, except for a zombie who hitches a ride. Luca kicks the remaining zombie off the cliff.

While the group is out of immediate danger, they are by no means safe. What dangers will they face with so much dungeon left to escape?

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Wrassling Pigs

Wednesday Group 11/18/2015
In game date: 12/22-12/25

In Cobalt Lightning’s lair, Kobolds on top, 10-20 very young and 5-10 older wise dragons at Cobalt Lightning’s lair. They are most definitely cowards. Plenty of tunnels that the dragons crawl through. We also know they hate red dragons and maybe fire.

The party decides to head to Coptown. Sanura tries to get sandstone sent to Silotown and Ragdar promises that he will after all of this is done. During the night, a lightning storm begins to happen and RAAAAAAIIIIIIIIINNNN.

12/23 dawns. They travel! Night passes without incident.
12/24 dawns. As they get closer to the town, they have to resurface and travel to the town. They see longhouses come out of the mud. Pigs everywhere. The group tries to get some pigs and some kobolds are near the perimeter. Razzo and Garth scout out the area and find out the obelisk is on the base floor inside the mesa. Night passes without incident.

12/25 dawns. Some kobolds riding pigs come into town. Merchant caravan is being loaded with pig meat. Group 1 ’ports in, smashes up the place, and ’ports out. They get into the drillcar and drive away.

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