Timeline: ????

Ketyl’s POV

It wasn’t long before a fight broke out. We struggled to fight against the overwhelming onslaught of the golems and the wizards. We eventually managed to stop the fight after Kronk sent us hurtling through time and opened the exit hatch. The scenery revealed a massive battle and the gnomes called for a ceasefire.

They claimed that we had to be VERY careful as we were now at one of the most pivotal times in history: the founding of the Ashavite religion thousands of years ago. I had not planned to go to the endgame this early. The gnomes explained that anything done here could cause a massive paradox unlike anything we’d done before. Suddenly, Lyanna revealed that she wanted to stay at this point in time as it was her destiny to die here and spread the word of Ashava and the Messiah.

I tried to calm her down, reminding her that we could come back to this point in time later, perhaps with more of a plan. Then, the ultimate shocker came when Dan pulled the lever, turning off the artificial gravity and sending us all tumbling towards the exit. Lyanna and most of the gnomes tumbled through, while the head gnome was restrained by Korbin. Dan quickly flipped the switch back on once Lyanna had gone through. Luckily, she had the jetpack and we heard the telltale sound of it activating. Soon, a massive explosion of energy boomed outside, and a portal appeared. Apparently, a dozen golems and gnomes crashing into the middle of a massive battle they’d never been a part of caused a pretty significant paradox. Unlike our previous paradoxes, though, this one had far worse consequences.

It was spreading. The portal grew until it seemed to consume everything. The gnome began to panic, saying that a portal to the Feywild had opened so violently that the two planes had merged. I was FURIOUS with Dan and asked the gnome if there was any way to fix this, when Kronk quietly suggested that we could just leave things this way. I quickly put two and two together and realized that Kronk WANTED this to happen. I couldn’t believe that the man I trusted with my life was willing to throw the entire world away for his own selfish desires. As I looked upon the energy spilling out from the portal, I began to realize that the story I had hoped to tell of Dan’s TIme Dudes… a story of gallant heroes who risked everything to save the world and the future…was nothing but a sham.

We are not heroes. The group is made of reckless children who can’t even trust each other. I looked upon the gnome cop, realizing that I didn’t even know his name. Perhaps we really deserved to be imprisoned, especially now that our world was now completely consumed by the Feywild. Millions of innocent people were now erased and I seemed to be the only one who cared.

The gnome piped up, claiming that we MIGHT be able to fix the paradox by releasing a burst of temporal energy, but too large a burst could end up destroying the ship and killing us. Even if we survived, we would be stranded. The gnome quipped that all this could have been avoided if we had simply gone with him and discussed how to fix the problem. I wasn’t really convinced of that, but whatever. The others suggested we go to the far future and see if it was really all that bad. Resigned at this point, I reluctantly agreed. When we arrived at our destination, I decided to rest at the time machine with Dan while Korbin and Kronk went exploring. I had no interest in seeing the results of my companions’ recklessness. They seemed excited, thinking our quest might as well be over.

After a day or so, they came running in breathless, claiming that the Fey were on their way to destroy the time machine. Apparently, it was “offensive” to the Archfey since it was not of nature’s design. I wonder, who could have foreseen that the Fey would end being massive dicks? Oh right, anyone who’s ever dealt with a fey.

Timeline: 10/09/00-10/10/00-????

Ketyl’s POV

With some quick negotiations, we managed to defuse the situation. Lyanna was named Empress and we decided to let her rule the kingdom after all the time-traveling was over. We’d worry about the whole pesky “Lyanna dies as part of a prophecy” later. It’s not like we haven’t dealt with paradoxes before. As part of the deal with the angels, we asked them to take out all the demons, fire elementals, vampires, and werewolves in the kingdom.

I went to sleep soon after that since it was very late, but apparently Korbin spent his night smuggling the vampires out of the city. Unlike most of his plans, this didn’t directly endanger the timeline, so more power to him. He described it later as being necessary since most of the positions of power in the army were held by vampires and too much of a vacuum could cause chaos. Not being too familiar with the Empire’s politics, I honestly hadn’t thought about that.

In the morning, I learned that the time machine had reappeared and was swarming with demons, per usual. The Elder really has to come up with better plans to stop us other than just throwing more and more demons at us, it’s clearly not working. It’s not terribly surprising that this “mastermind’s” plans are being disrupted by our particular brand of chucklefuckery.

So we destroyed the demons and entered the time machine, but Orin wasn’t there. Instead, we were surrounded by a bunch of gnomes and metal statues (probably some kind of robot). They said that they were time-travelers like us, but from centuries further in the future. I guess our actions had somewhat helped if there’s no apocalypse in the future. Apparently, Orin had not been there when they found it in the future. So either he managed to finally get out of his time loop or he was erased somehow.

They seemed very interested in our travels and learning how paradoxes worked and started writing things down. Suddenly, it hit me why they had come to find us. Time Cops! They were here to protect the timestream and saw us as threats since we caused paradoxes.

They told us that we were under arrest and that we had to be tried in their court of law. We would be granted a lawyer, but everything we had already said would be on the record due to some stupid time law. As we looked at each other, I began to evaluate our options…

Timeline: 10/09/00

Ketyl’s POV

We ran through the sewers to get back to Shao Khan before Moldark could enact his plan. We emerged in the courtyard and bolted straight for the throne room. Two guards tried to stop us, but we took them out quickly. Opening the door, we were confronted with the sight of the Emperor lying staked on the floor with Moldark, Pence, and several minor vampires milling around.

Moldark saw us and the fight was on. I charmed the minions to remove Shao Khan’s stake and to flee, narrowing the battlefield. Dan began firing sunbeams at the remaining vampires, but Moldark was still kicking. Shao Khan briefly reawakened and fought Moldark, but his new demonic powers were still too powerful and Shao Khan had to flee to his coffin. Ethel blasted Moldark twice with the holy salt water gun, reopening wounds and slowing the creature to a crawl.

It wasn’t long before we finally slew the beast that had plagued us since the beginning of our journey. But, there was always a catch. I began to hear a joyous chorus as we looted the bodies and went to heal Shao Khan. I initially dismissed it as celebration that Moldark would not be emperor. As we entered Shao Khan’s tomb, we were followed by a host of angels that had come through a portal opened by the paradox of Moldark’s death.

I managed to convince them that Shao Khan’s presence was actually beneficial to the realm, as he held everyone in check. They gave him the option to be redeemed and he seemed to want to pass on. But we still had the problem of who would rule after the Khan? We asked the angels for a week to find a ruler, but they refused to budge and moved to take the Khan by force.

Timeline: 10/09/00

Ketyl’s POV

After our battle aboard the ship, we decided to get some rest before the trial. When we awoke, we managed to sneak our way into the castle undetected. Ethel and Dan went ahead to the throne room while I stayed behind to keep an eye on Korbin, who had attracted Lord Bannon’s attention.

I learned that we hadn’t killed everyone on the boat like we thought and that our past selves were sentenced to hang for our crimes. I wasn’t entirely sure if this would cause a paradox since we were supposed to die around this time anyway, but I didn’t want to chance it. I snuck away to inform Dan and Ethel to discuss our plan to exonerate our past selves. Before I could do that, some commotion happened and Korbin sprinted past me with Bannon struggling to keep up. I saw Bannon smack into what seemed to be nothing and put together that there was some kind of barrier. I managed to hop over it with a little help from the wall hangings.

Once the trial began, we quickly cleared up that our current selves were time travelers that already knew what would happen should Moldark succeed the throne. We also brought forth a lot of damning information that had Zinky and Pence stripped of their titles and power. Moldark claimed that he was trying to find a way out of the contract, but we didn’t believe him.

As we were discussing, suddenly the town erupted in flames and we learned that our past selves had been killed and that fiery creatures were pouring out of portals. We quickly explained that this was a paradox that happened bc Moldark’s men killed us before we were supposed to die.

We quickly mopped up a few of the monsters in the southwest part of the city, before we realized that we had left Shao Khan with Moldark and all the conspirators. He had a chance since he now suspected treachery, but for how long?

We began running back to the throne room to give him a fighting chance.

Timeline: 10/08/00-10/09/00

Ketyl’s POV

As I was wiping the blood from my mouth, I saw Korbin disappear only to be replaced with Dan.

We managed to restrain the one surviving assassin and interrogate him. He wouldn’t tell us anything until we promised to take him to some point in the future so he would be safe. Like we’re actually going to do that.

Anyway, we didn’t learn too much about Moldark, only that he has a regenerative ability stronger than other vampires, but the holy salt water should take care of that. His team, though, is nothing we can’t handle.

However, the distribution of Slurnbase seems to have stopped completely. Go us! Although that might bode ill for Korbin’s obsessions with those drug tubes.

Apparently, there seems to be bad blood between Count Flynn and Counts Mattis and Pence. We can use that.

Ethel seemed oddly fixated on Lord Flynn, who sent the mercs after us. She seemed to believe he’d have documents that even Priebus, head of Moldark’s staff, wouldn’t have. Seems like a big assumption, but fine. If it all goes tits up, I’m sure Lord Priebus will have the dagger on him anyway.

So we sent the assassin on his way, promising to meet up with him at the fortress near the woods. We found out that Flynn was on a ship a quarter mile offshore, so we rested until early morning to approach by a rowboat we acquired.

As we approached, we were obviously noticed. I was going to say that we were sent by Priebus as backup since one of the assassins wasn’t found, so he must have blabbed…but then Dan and Ethel started trying to sell them those nasty Sard-apples. We didn’t even have a barrel, how would we have Sard-apples?

So naturally, we had to kill them all. After a few blasts of ice, fire, arrows, and sunbeams, Dan managed to grab as many documents as he could and we sunk the ship by setting it completely ablaze. As we drifted away on a stolen lifeboat, Dan sent off a beacon of Count Pence’s symbol. Seems like a pretty obvious frame-job, but maybe it’ll work.

I think the next plan of action should be sneaking into Priebus’ place and retrieving the dagger that Korbin gave away. With all the commotion and accusation against Pence, he might be too busy to guard his belongings. And maybe, I can find something for myself while I’m there.

Timeline: 10/05/00 PRESENT DAY- 10/08/00 PRESENT DAY

Ketyl’s POV

As we came out of the woods, only Korbin, myself, Kronk, Lyanna, and Ethel were around. The rest seemed to have disappeared to the moon. Feels like I’m the only one who doesn’t get a funky moon adventure.

Not that I had a long time to worry about it, as horns were blown and we were immediately escorted by guards to the little fortress. Apparently, we still had some distance to cover before reaching Sanctuary. We learned that the barbarian problem had mostly burnt out with the lack of Slurnbase. I guess we actually did a better job than I thought? However, they were replaced by never-ending waves of demons. We might have to take care of that somehow before we leave this time period.

We spent the next few days traveling toward Sanctuary and came across a group of travelers. I recognized the voices and tried to warn the party to stay back, but Korbin went over and greeted the members of our party. Or rather, the past version of us. Luckily, they seemed to be too busy to pay too much attention to the weirdly similar guy that talked to them.

But…we didn’t show up here last time until the 13th… a minor paradox? We might be on a tighter time clock than anticipated. And what about those demons? We didn’t come across them last time.

I decided that we needed to disguise ourselves and managed to adequately disguise most of us, though it’s hard to make a Minotaur look too different with the supplies I had. At least compared to making a human look like an elf or a dwarf. I had to settle with simply changing the color of his fur and adding a few scars.

Ethel intercepted a note and interrogated the messenger in a weirdly flirty manner. But we got a lot of info. Apparently, Moldark had showed up as powerful as last time, but with Louis’ head on a pike! And tons of wizards verified it was real for Shao Khan. Did we actually manage to kill him? As a result, Shao Khan was leaning towards naming Moldark as his heir. We decided to try the front door this time since the ceremony was a few days away still. So at least that hadn’t changed.

We managed to get in easily enough, and met with Count Priebus. He was hesitant about letting us meet with Shao Khan ahead of everyone else, when suddenly Korbin gave him the dagger that we needed to kill the Elder! I was livid that Korbin would do such a thing, but I struggled to contain myself. I’d simply have to retrieve it later. Priebus mysteriously let us through after holding the dagger. That’s ominous. Hopefully, that won’t bite us in the ass later. But it probably will.

We headed up the stairs and briefly bumped in Count Sessions and Ethel flipped out and got herself thrown in jail despite our protests. Sigh, it’s like herding cats with this party. Guess it’s a good thing Dan is usually the leader.

We finally got to meet Shao Khan and it was pretty impressive with dozens of guards lining the halls. I tried to keep the info given to just what happened at the meeting and what we learned there (in order to minimize the chance of paradoxes, obviously), but Korbin once again revealed that we’re time travelers. I guess that makes it easier to explain, but it’s going to screw us later, I know it. With all the testimony we gave, Shao Khan said there would be a trial for Moldark at midnight tomorrow. If he was found innocent, Moldark would be named heir to the throne and Shao Khan would step down willingly, even giving up his vampirism.

We decided to go to Count Priebus’ wine tasting. Well, except for Kronk, who fucked off somewhere. I had to retrieve that dagger since Korbin seems so nonchalant about preventing the end of the world. But, as I asked around, he didn’t seem to be here at all. Just as I started to get suspicious, we were immediately surrounded and shanked by some waiters. I didn’t have much time to think about these assassins our enemies had obviously sent before I went unconscious momentarily. Luckily, Korbin mopped them up. I’d be more grateful if we weren’t at this party because of his recklessness.

Political intrigue is hard, you guys.

Timeline: 0 AQB forward to 10/05/00 AQB

Ketyl’s POV

As we teleported into Silotown, we were quickly approached by Kreg, Dale, Grimsbone, and Gullycloak. We explained the situation to them and they were unsurprisingly suspicious of our story. I pointed out that time travel is hardly that different in scale from killing a god.

They agreed to help us with our plan. We even managed to get word to Gullycloak about the location of Morael’s phylactery. Perhaps he would be able to help us get inside the castle or even more. We spent a week getting all the supplies we needed, including the holy salt and the fire-hose dispenser. Certainly one of us could operate it.

Our plan set, we headed off to find Orin and explained our plan. He asked if we wanted to go to the time where he got the throne or where we unseated him. I pointed out that he was telling us too much information again.

As we stepped out of the time machine, we were confronted by demons that had apparently taken over the forests of the Northern Kingdom. They were menacing some of Shao Khan’s troops, but we took care of them. The demons seemed to know where we were going to show up. Do we have a mole? Why didn’t Shao Khan’s army of devils take care of the demons? They should still be around at this point in time.

We needed to move quickly and quietly for this plan to go off without a hitch.

Timeline: 25 AQB back to several months before 0 AQB, Days 1-7

Ketyl’s POV

We travelled to meet Orin and went back in time. We arrived near the Northern Kingdom, and headed towards a lit town. They let us in once they recognized Korbin.

We had a week until the meeting, so we decided to sell off some of the treasure we had accrued and I even got a chance to play for an audience again. It’s honestly just not as fun playing for the same people who just roll their eyes every time you pick up your instrument.

After each doing our own thing for a few days, we met up and learned that Korbin had bought a ton of explosives as a plan to ambush Moldark before the meeting even began. While initially annoyed that Korbin hadn’t seemed to understand the concept of a recon mission, we decided to tweak his plan slightly. Knowing that the Lich relied on True Sight to see through illusion, we hid the explosives under a small layer of gold coins in several standard chests.

If anybody asked what was in the chests, we could honestly respond with gold, thus not triggering Louis’ astounding ability of insight into lies.

As we were led deep into the Underdark, we saw seemingly bottomless chasms of darkness while being pulled in some form of carriage by giant spiders.

Once we arrived, Lyc revealed herself to not be Ziggy and we told Louis that Ziggy had asked us to come in his place to see what the deal was. I got a good look at our enemies for the first time: Morael, the lich, was a skeleton covered in the finest of robes and accessories; Moldark, the vampire, surprisingly lithe compared to the horrendous slob I had seen in Shao Khan’s throne room; and Louis Arizona, the fallen angel, who truly put to shame all description of an angel’s beauty.

And above all of us, a truly colossal worm (practically the size of a town from the looks of it) suspended by several chains as Drow bled it to be used for Slurnbase and some other drug.

Louis wasn’t happy that we crashed his party, but went on with his spiel, revealing that pretty much everything that went wrong with the future started here. This worm was in fact a restrained demon lord that Louis had been draining for a long time and using it to fuel the barbarians fighting the Northern Empire and his own drug trade. And he had now found a way to make the drug even more powerful and planned to use it on the highest bidder as an attempt to gain allies and to kill Shao Khan. Further, this demon worm was also the source of all the zombie worms that Morael had collected. But we also learned that anybody who consumed this “Super-Slurn” and the worms were weak to consecrated salt.

During this talk, Korbin set up the gold explosives strategically around the room. Kronk volunteered to be the one to take the super-drug so that Moldark couldn’t have it and Louis agreed under the condition that Kronk sign a magical contract forcing him to kill Shao Khan.

We discussed the contract for a few minutes before returning to Louis with plans to worry about the “killing Shao Khan” part later. But Louis had already started hooking up Moldark to the machine, complaining that we took too long to decide.

So, Plan B (and really what I wanted in the first place), we managed to take the villains by complete surprise, exploding the cave around us and teleporting out simultaneously. Just before we disappeared, I saw Moldark transform to a cloud of mist, meaning my plan had worked.

As we appeared in Silotown, I was fairly certain that we had not killed the demon lord, Louis and certainly not Morael. But hopefully we had at least delayed their plans for a little while. If the explosion triggered a cave collapse, it would take a while to dig out that demon worm.

So my teleportation to Silotown had two major purposes: one, have an actual guaranteed place to escape an exploding cave; and two, we’d need allies who already have a vested interest in getting rid of Morael’s influence and preventing Moldark’s ascension to the throne. Plus we’d need a hell of a lot of consecrated salt water and who better to go to than the Church of Ashava?

Timeline: 25 AQB, Day 5

Ketyl’s POV

Unfortunately, as soon as I began explaining the situation to Boss Ash, he boomed that he actually was allies with the Elder. Whelp.

During the heated battle, I teleported to the next floor past the closed iron doors to see if I could free Ziggy, who was surely trapped somewhere. I saw a glittery form writhing in an orb surrounded by fire.

I spun a quick lie to some fire giants that were guarding him, but they saw through it and tried to push me out the door. I turned invisible and walked past them to the orb, where I saw a small slot. I aimed a crossbow bolt and shot so true that the bolt hit my target.

Unfortunately, it didn’t unlock the orb, but it richocheted and opened the door for my friends. As I saw them rush up, the guards immediately gave up, knowing that their boss was no more.

Korbin produced some strange key-like dagger… a keyblade, if you will. He took the dagger and freed Ziggy, with the unfortunate side-effect of being trapped instead. We intimidated one of the guards into taking Korbin’s place, while the other one fled.

We took the opportunity to talk to Ziggy and learned about the Elder’s one weakness, the keyblade that Korbin held. But it had a catch, it would slowly drive the user insane as it took on the traits of the outsiders that it killed.

We also learned several key details about Louis Arizona, that he was a powerful angel who fell from grace after consorting with the drow spider goddess, Lolth. We also learned that Moldark was undefeatable while he had his phylactery, and that he had a powerful magic item that allowed him to cast multiple spells at once!

We also learned about Morael’s lair was a horrific maze that phased in and out of existence on an 8-hour timer, filled to bursting with treasure, undead guardians, and lesser dracoliches.

Knowing all this, we planned to use Lyc’s changeling powers to impersonate Ziggy and keep it a recon-only mission. Discretion would be the better part of valor here. But would we pull it off without Louis or Morael suspecting? Or would we have to fight our way out as usual?

Timeline: 25 AQB, Day 4-5

Ketyl’s POV

We decided that Ziggy needed to be consulted if he had any info on defeating the Elder. We could go back in time to the meeting afterwards. And the phylactery certainly wasn’t going anywhere.

So we took a rest and went to Doomwake Cinders’ territory near a volcano. As we arrived, we were greeted by all manner of humanoid creatures who seemed to be living in indentured servitude. A young pig farmer claimed that a new boss had taken over the Doomwake Cinders, a fire giant known as Boss Ash. He also explained that life was a lot easier as a slave under Boss Ash than it had been under Boss Coal, the boss who had been around in our time.

So we continued on toward the mountain. On the way, I summoned the genie and laid out my contract, confident that even he couldn’t find a loophole to exploit. He chuckled and granted my wish, which sounded ominous. But I got my wish! The Ollamh Harp was more beautiful than any story could have described it. The craftsmanship was astonishing, even with the power of a wish.

I decided to wait to attune to it until I could get Dan to identify it. Have to make sure it isn’t somehow cursed.

I caught up with the rest of my party at the base of the volcano where they were talking to a fire giant and some salamanders. The giant was being dodgy about whether he knew of Ziggy, so I volunteered Korbin for a rock-throwing contest with the prize being info. Korbin won, of course, exploding a pig with the power of super steroid drugs.

The giant didn’t reveal much more, only briefly saying that Boss Ash had cloistered himself away and had banished all bards. But why? Does he hate the sound of music? That could be useful info. The giant brought us in for a tour. He babbled for a while about how great their smithing was, until I asked to meet with Boss Ash, bluffing that I had a message for him.

But, of course, Korbin had to ruin a perfectly good talk by opening his mouth and blowing my cover. Why, man? Who does that benefit? So now we have to fight through the entire volcano. I managed to charm these ones into dropping their best treasures and fleeing as far as possible. The others took care of the hellhounds while Kronk and I tried to get to the controls for the lift to the next floor. After some debate, we managed to get the gnomes to help us. Kronk smashed the lever so they couldn’t turn it off. Smart.

I flew past the second floor to get to the third floor. Maybe if I got to them before Korbin did, I could still resolve this peacefully. As fun as it would be to loot this place, it’s unwise to do so when everyone is on alert.

I managed to trick the giants that I was a representative of Orin’s from Silotown who had a message for Boss Ash himself. One that could only be told to him personally. Parts of the story are lies, but enough is true that it’s easily verifiable. I’m able to convince them to put away their weapons while Boss Ash comes to hear the message.

The rest of my party, sans Korbin, showed up and went along with my story. I passed them off as bodyguards, claiming that it would be bad if I got captured before delivering a message. Lyanna quietly warned me that it would become a brawl if Korbin showed up. Hopefully, he had stayed behind in a considerate attempt to give me time to smooth things over. Likely, he just wanted to fight a bunch of giants.

I nearly blew it for a moment when I ask if they want to hear a song, and the giants nearly shit themselves in anger. I managed to fix the problem by making unfunny fart sounds with my armpit. Can’t believe I nearly ruined my own attempt at diplomacy. How stupid of me.

A truly enormous giant with two large, untarnished shields flanked by regular fire giants began to come down the lift from an upper floor. Boss Ash had arrived. As soon as he got to me, my plan would begin in earnest.

Timeline: 25 AQB, Day 3-4

Ketyl’s POV

An apparition arose from the dead body. He told us that he was not, in fact, Ziggy, but another man who claimed to be his right hand man. He called himself the Jacketless Man. He had actually sent us the letter, intending to meet us as Ziggy before revealing the truth if we were trustworthy. The letter was not a trap, but it must have been intercepted by these mercenaries.

Ziggy had disappeared shortly after an argument with a man known as Johnny Langua while in Rennin. Apparently, Ziggy had been obsessed with a specific book that he had borrowed from the Guardians and had intended to go fight Morael.

Perhaps this was an earlier iteration of the book we possessed now? If this Johnny Langua had obtained the book and returned it to the Guardians, that would still match up with our current timeline. We offered the Jacketless Man a chance to return to life, but he declined, preferring to move on. Once we collected the belongings of the fallen, we went to rest before heading to Rennin on the lightning train.

As I stepped off the train, my first thought was that not much had changed in 25 years. The smell was the same, some buildings had shifted but otherwise the same. The only thing that seemed odd was the rats. They’d always been rather friendly, following you around in groups, but they seemed unusually…organized. Studying their exposed brains and behavior, I quickly put together that they were a hive mind that became more intelligent in close proximity to each other. This explained why there were so many rats in one place compared to when I lived here. I put together that these must be spies for Johnny Langua, especially once a nearby bard told us not to mess with the rats. So I performed a song to let Johnny know we were here to meet with him. I’ll be the first to admit it wasn’t very good since I didn’t have much time to prepare. Regardless, it got us an opening act for Johnny’s concert that night.

Dan insisted on a rider as part of our performance. I’d never done a rider before because I wasn’t particularly well-known before I went to the north. My performances had always been covers for my criminal activities anyway, so it had never really occurred to me. So I simply asked for 30 inflatable fish in the green room. I didn’t really want that, but I didn’t have time to think of it. I was too busy coming up with a song for that night.

As the lights fell, we took to the stage. My nerves filled me with a restless energy, as I’d never performed on this stage and never for this many people. The potential for a good performance is more daunting than any dragon or slaad, I can tell you that. As I strummed out the melody, the crowd grew quiet. I began to sing, as explosions of light came from behind me. I couldn’t see what my party was doing, but the audience was loving it. As I finished my song, I felt my heart soar. The audience loved us. This would surely be one of my greatest performances.

We went to the green room afterwards to meet with Johnny Langua. Apparently he was a djinni, along with his fellow band members, who were genies of different planes. He claimed that he was very interested in meeting us and that he had a vested interest in eliminating Moldark and Morael, though he was very dodgy about the book or Ziggy’s whereabouts. Using a truth-ensuring spell, we traded information on our enemies’ weaknesses and whereabouts, including that Lyanna was doomed by prophecy to meet her end at the hands of a Rakshasa, the Elder. With this, there could be no doubt that we had caused the Elder to be able to travel through time somehow. Sounds like he is the puppeteer that is controlling Moldark and Morael from the shadows.

Further, we learned the location of Morael’s phylactery to the exact location. We also learned that Louis Arizona, the same drow we had stolen a drill-car from, had something to do with Moldark’s sudden burst in power. Going back in time to stop it from ever happening could cause a paradox, but perhaps we could convince Louis to reveal how to reverse the process.

Not sure if we could trust Johnny at his word, we asked him what his weakness was. He claimed that it was a whiskey flask that could trap him, hidden somewhere in Rennin. Interested, I looked around the room and my eyes felt drawn to a specific bottle. As I touched it, the frog-like marid cursed as he was sucked into it. Johnny laughed and said that the marid was now obligated to grant me one wish, though the marid would likely “be a cock about it.” I’d have to be very careful in how I word my wish to prevent any unintended consequences.

We retired to our rooms. In the morning, I learned that the efreet, Fiery Watts, had come to inform us of Ziggy’s whereabouts. His spies had supposedly placed Ziggy at the volcano in Doomwake Cinders’ territory. Fiery Watts mentioned that Johnny Langua would not be happy that he revealed this information, but Johnny had claimed under the zone of truth that his band-mates could not be trusted.

So what would we do now? Would we go find Ziggy even though we had our information? Would we go find Louis Arizona to learn how to weaken Moldark and then go take out Moldark? Or would we foolishly try to take on an ancient undead blue dragon? And what would I do with the power of a genie’s wish?

Timeline: 25 AQB, Day 3

Ketyl’s POV

I woke up in the morning to learn that Korbin had commissioned some “Dan’s Time Dudes” patches. How the hell am I supposed to put that in a song? Not many things rhyme with “dudes” that would make sense. Moods? ‘Tudes? Nudes? Broods? How am I supposed to work with that?

Anyway, we set off to Lumbertown via the lightning train car. I’d heard of such a system even in our time, but it wasn’t nearly so expansive. We parked and waited until noon with no sign of Ziggy. As I was heading to town to search for him, I got a message from Dan that they’d found him on a hill. Cheera and I raced back over on Chamomile’s back to see Ziggy fall over dead with large claw marks on his chest. His body shifted to some bland nobody.

As soon as his body hit the ground, we were surrounded by some grotesque, insectoid creatures that I recognized as Yugoloths. After some quick back and forth between Korbin and their leader, I learned that someone had paid them to ambush and kill us. Somebody sent us that letter in Ziggy’s style in order to draw us into a trap. It had to be the Elder who set these mercenaries upon us. A Rakshasa would certainly have access to extraplanar creatures like these.

The battle began in earnest as I struggled to keep Chamomile flying. I tried to fight them off by polymorphing Cheera into a tyrannosaurus rex. Unfortunately, my poor steed eventually fell to their blows and she disappeared in a twinkle of light as I floated softly to the ground. One of them kept chasing me down as I fired off fireballs at some of the smaller minions until I managed to lead it back to Korbin. I figured his beefy physique could serve as a good shield while I recovered my composure.

By the time I led it back to Korbin, the others seemed to have wiped out the other side of the battlefield. I had taken quite a few blows, but I’d managed to distract them often enough that the wounds weren’t too deep.

As I glanced over where Chamomile had fallen, I felt a pang in my heart. Sure, she was just a spirit who could be summoned back at any time. But there’s something distressing about seeing a pegasus’ noble form being struck down, especially as I’d grown rather fond of her over the past few days.

Now to find out if this corpse really had been Ziggy. I seriously doubt it, he was an incredibly powerful bard, unlikely to be taken down without a fight. Although it would make for an interesting tale of a man: blessed with talent, but chose to take on another physical form to more suit his particular art form and aesthetic.

Hey Lyc!

I missed you while we were at Limber town, it was super cool! We had to go there to see Ziggy, you know, the best bard in existence who can tell us more information about Moldark? Anyway, he asked to see us in Lumber Town!

You and Auntie were summoned to the moon before we headed out so I didn’t get to say good-bye, but I hope you’re having fun up there!

Anyway, in Lumber Town, which is, by the way, COVERED in beautiful red woods, we meet some lumberjacks who tell us all about the town. They mostly care about cutting wood and being really great at that, which me and Korbin could definitely do, but I prefer a farm with animals to cutting trees for a living.

I made you a cool crown of leaves, I can’t wait for you to wear it so you and I can match!

After Ketyl and I searched around the town, we got a call from Dan on the Stone if Far Speech to meet them up on top of the hill just outside of town. And wouldn’t you know it, we got ambushed!

Ketyl turned me into a T-Rex which was SUPER AWESOME! You would have be proud. Auntie might have liked it, it’s hard to tell sometimes if she likes the cool things I do.

Anyway, it was a hard fight but we emerged victorious in the end (I even ate someone!) and there was a treasure chest too! I can’t wait for you come back so we can go visit Limber Town together, or maybe we can walk around the beautiful forest of redwoods? Whatever we decided to do, I’ll be happy just being by your side.

I think you’re the coolest,
Cheera

Timeline: 25 AQB, Day 2

Ketyl’s POV

In the morning, I went to pick up my purchases. Then, I went to the brunch with Dale. I explained the situation to him and we learned that Ziggy is not someone you can just arrange a meeting with. He’s the kind of person that finds you if you pique his interest. Much as I expected, we’d have to appeal to his love of good stories.

Time travel, romance, a weird guy in a speedo, what’s not to love? So I went off to spread the word to the bards at Chez Kipp. They were a little skeptical at first, but I managed to convince them of the veracity of my words. Afterwards, I went to go pick up Ethel, knowing that she likely would drink herself stupid.

Then I went to go see Orlaaz. I tried to explain that these were his inventions from the future, but he seemed only interested in improving the inventions. Whatever, I guess.

I returned to the pub to receive a message from one of the deputies. Apparently, our efforts had made the rounds far faster than I had expected. Ziggy had sent us a note in his signature golden script that we were to meet him in Lumbertown by noon tomorrow. Ethel and I drank into the night and things get a little fuzzy at that point. I remember the guys getting back at some point and I gave Dan the notes?

I woke up in the morning with less of a hangover than I expected. Why do I keep doing this to myself? I managed to get some extra money to buy an endless money pouch. Not exactly what I needed, but it will do. I met up with the rest of the Time Splitters in the morning (that’s the official name, I don’t care what anybody says.)

Timeline: 25 AQB, Day 1-2

Ketyl’s POV

Before we had time to really catch our breath, we were confronted with the booming voice of another dragon, demanding that we release his slaves. Naturally, we refused. Hell, we already came this far. With a roar, a huge scarlet-colored dragon burst over the dunes with a smaller one in tow.

Dan managed to imprison the large one like before while we took care of the smaller one, presumably still a child in comparison. My voice rang out, encircling us with a protective wave of energy that shielded us from the flames of the dragon’s breath. Well, all except Lyc. The flame managed to pierce my spell and incinerate her, knocking her out. We managed to get her moving again, but there were soot marks all over her clothes and the ground around her. After the smaller one went down due to our teamwork, we prepared to take on the huge one.

Cheera and Korbin dropped in from above using their jetpacks, scoring valiant blows on the creature. I whispered the dying cries of its children to give them another chance to take him out. But before we could strike the final blow, the fiend dove onto Ethel, tearing her with its mighty claws before snapping her in twain with its strong jaws. We saw her the pieces of her body disappear, though her lifeblood remained spilled on the sand.

We slew the creature, but it was too late. Despite knowing that Ethel would likely return, it is still sobering to see a friend be torn asunder like that. I can only imagine Cheera’s feelings on the subject.

But there was no time to rest as another huge dragon trudged onto the overlooking dune! But lo, a burst of lightning surged through its body, cooking the creature from inside out. With his hand still crackling, a lone man in a cowboy hat stood triumphant on the ridge. Dale, the SIlotown Savior we wanted to meet, had arrived. We quickly caught him up on the status of the survivors as he produced some strange device from his pocket, claiming that it was about to open. A portal opened in front of us, and we managed to get all the survivors and even the dragon corpses through the portal to SIlotown.

As we came through the portal, we were confronted by an entirely new vision of Silotown much like the one we would see 25 years from now, but not quite as advanced…and also a lot more bustling! It seems that, at this point, Silotown was still a thriving metropolis. As we gathered together, we decided to split up with the dragon corpses, trying to sell them or get them fashioned into armor or whatever. Ethel appeared in a burst of moonlight and promptly announced that she was off to the tavern, and I grimaced to think of what she’d drink to get over her very recent dismemberment.

The others managed to slip my notice, leaving me with two of the corpses. So I decided to get what I could for them. I managed to convince the smith to create some dragon-scale armor for my trusty steed, Chamomile, and even to upgrade my own studded leather in exchange for the rest of the materials. I even managed to get some gold and an overnight job, since I expected our team would be easily distracted and want to leave immediately.

By the time I returned, there was some hubbub at our temporary lodgings for the evening. Apparently, Cheera had finally revealed her romantic feelings for Lyc, though I still doubt whether Lyc truly understands the cultural meaning of the word, “girlfriend.” Regardless, I’m happy for them, as it means I can finally regale them with all of the love songs I can manage. Korbin was saying something about taking Orlaaz’ inventions back to Orlaaz? I guess that could make it a grandfather time loop. I haven’t even used that megaphone yet anyway. Probably should, though.

We went to our rooms to rest for the night. Being in a city again made me feel uncomfortable. So much had happened in so little time. Within a month’s time (by my own timeline), I had gone from amusing a tavern with some bawdy songs to fighting dragons and travelling through time. I talked to mechanical men, went to a different dimension, got killed by vampires, went to the moon briefly. I shook my head and laid down, preparing for our meeting with Dale in the morning. We had business to discuss.

Timeline: 25 AQB, Day 1

Ketyl’s POV

As we exited the time machine, we were immediately greeted by the sounds of battle. I’m starting to sense a pattern.

As we crested the hill, we saw a tower built into a mountain where two eldery dwarves were being swarmed by kobolds. As we mopped up the creatures, we spoke with the dwarves. They informed us that they were still rebelling against the red dragons and had contact with the Silotown Saviors, specifically the one known as Dale. He had sent a letter saying that he would protect them from the dragons, but hadn’t shown up yet. They were planning to flee soon, but we convinced them otherwise after I intimidated a captured kobold into revealing that this was the dragons’ plan. Korbin forbid me from getting any more info, as he’d grown oddly attached to the creature who would surely try to kill him, given the chance.

Since we needed a Savior’s help to find Ziggy, we had no choice but to help these dwarves survive until we could meet up with Dale and get his help.

During the night, more kobolds came, flanked by two large red dragons. Korbin had created a small rock wall to keep the kobolds away from the doors. I animated some coins to slowly bludgeon one of the dragons to death while Dan and Cheera disabled another one temporarily.

Kronk and Korbin managed to wipe out all the kobolds by themselves as the dwarves hid in Dan’s sanctum inside the tower. As we took down the last dragon, we knew that more would soon be on the way.

Timeline: 34 AQB, Day 6 back to 25 AQB

Ketyl’s POV

As Korbin disappeared to the moon, I had to sigh. With this, my plan suddenly fell apart. One of the few times I needed his vehicle prowess, he disappears.

Cheera quietly mentioned that she could pilot the car as well, but never mentioned it before so as not to step on Korbin’s pride. The hoarse, husky voice protesting let me know that Ethel had returned from the moon. Lyc had also returned, blue as ever thanks to the chaotic side-effects of her magic.

As we hid from the Drow, they met up with the Not-Beholder, who called itself Ocular Superiority 5, to discuss some sort of transaction for the drillcar. The plan had to go into action now before anything else could go wrong. I grabbed Cheera and told her to hang on as I teleported us into the drillcar.

As expected, the vehicle was swarming with Morlocks. I accelerated the growth of the plants around the drillcar to slow down any further intruders. As I saw Cheera get swarmed by the creatures, the job fell to me to get the car moving.

As I pointed out the different buttons to Cheera, I struggled to close the doors as I kept getting pulled at and scratched by the foul little bastards. I even fell asleep at some point, but Cheera woke me up. I felt the machinery rock around me as the creatures’ bodies were smashed against the wall from Cheera’s powerful shockwave.

Finally, I managed to get us underground and surfaced on the ridge. As I opened the door, the rest of the party opened fire on the Cyclops that had managed to squeeze itself in there. I also noticed that the not-Beholder had managed to follow us before being frozen in place, presumably by that Blue Sign in front of him.

We blasted away towards the castle and left the drillcar in El Chuch’s care. Godspeed, you magnificent little weirdo. As we met up with Orin, he surmised that we had gotten through the “El Chuch loop,” and asked us where we wanted to go next.

We originally considered going after Morael’s phylactery, but Dan’s research into the ritual described in the books obtained from the library revealed that Morael had managed to seal it into an undead ancient blue dragon that had faced off against Princess Rihann many years ago. We decided that fighting it was a little above our paygrade right now, so we decided to seek out Ziggy Stardust for more information and perhaps prevent his disappearance.

So we piled into the machine and set off for 25 AQB. To think that I would get to meet the most famous bard in living memory! If I’m lucky, he might even agree to a jam session!

Timeline: 34 AQB, Days 7 back to 5

Ketyl’s POV

When I woke up, the dimensional space that Dan made had morphed to a much more luxurious room. I woke up in a finely crafted hammock in a room of deep forest green walls. Gold leaf lined the molding around the room and the door. Strange that he had such good taste and yet still chose to have that beaded curtain in his room.

The others woke up and came out of their rooms, we all had breakfast and began to head on our way down the path set before us. Soon, we entered a cave and began to hear voices. As we crept up to see what was going on, we saw many humanoid creatures trying to dig out the time machine. They looked just like that mottled yellow-skinned guy that tried to burn down the inn and kidnap Lyanna back when we were just starting out.

Now to form a distraction so we could sneak over to the… goddammit Korbin, we don’t have to introduce ourselves to EVERYONE. This guy is going to be the death of me. Two of the creatures, which I learned were called Githyanki, appeared in front of us in the same way Dan teleported to and fro. They got annoyed when I was dodgy about why we needed to get past and our relationship with the time machine. One of them got frustrated and began to attack.

As all of them began to surround us, I animated the rocks to distract the Gith around me. Cheera was getting smacked around pretty badly, but she managed to stay upright while taking a few down by herself. Korbin and Dan pulled off their Black Tentacles/Grapple combo to keep most of them out of our hair. A couple of large red pack lizards went after Dan and Lyanna, but Korbin smashed one against the wall… honestly I got a little distracted and didn’t see who killed the other one.

As we mopped up and looted their bodies, Orin appeared in the doorway of the time machine and pointed out the Guardian of the Gate. He waved his hand, revealing that the dullard was a Death Slaad! He waved his hand again and the filthy toad’s head exploded in a mist of viscera. Orin told us that we should be more careful of who we bring along to get to the time machine.

As we piled in, he told us that it’s likely that the reason he was knocked off course was because there were two time machines operating in the same time period. I informed him that the Elder was now aware of our time travel and Orin believed that the rakshasa may be involved. He told us that we had to go back and send El Chuch with the minecar to the Guardians of Lore’s castle to save our lives in the past.

As we walked out onto a ridge overlooking a valley, we saw a horde of Morlocks surrounding a bunch of Cyclopes that were near the drill-car. Cheera informed us that the creature floating above them was some kind of failed beholder. Dan and I came up with a plan to teleport Korbin and I into the drill-car so we could bring it back to the others and rocket away from the fight. Before we could do anything though, we saw a bunch of Drow coming up behind us.

What would happen now? Should Korbin and I wait until this potential conflict with the Drow was resolved? Or should we just go for it? Don’t worry, I’ll tell you what happened in the next chapter!

Cheera’s diary fiction 1: Me and Lyc

It was a warm night, the party was laying down for the night and watches were being decided on. Cheera, still having all of her spells from that day, decided to take a watch early on. The fire was put out, everyone took to their bed rolls and the night was still. Cheera was vigilant, walking the perimeter, watching the horizon for any approaching hordes or wandering traveler. Or anything strange really, and for Cheera, that’s a lot of things. Growing up in a rural village with Auntie and her parents didn’t lend for much excitement, except for the few times they got adventures walking through their quiet town and, usually, causing a ruckus.

But it’s because of these adventurers that Cheera realized she was missing out on so much in this world. She looks at her party companions; Dan the magic man, their leader, Korbin, her right hand fighting friend, Ketyl, the strange bard, Auntie Ethel, Princess Lianna, Kronk, and…

“Lyc, you should be sleeping,” said Cheera as she spotted the ginger girl setting on her bed roll.

“I can’t sleep,” came Lyc’s reply. Cheera sat down next to her, planting the shield in the ground and resheathing The Enchantress.

“Is it the nightmares again?”

“No. Maybe. I think I can feel beth friend calling to me from the past were we left him. I hope he’s happy with that boy we left him with,” Lyc said as she looked out past the starry sky.

“I bet beth friend is protecting his new family, just like he protected you while you guys were living in the woods,” Cheera looks at Lyc’s face, studying it, “Was it hard? Living in the woods for all those years? Away from people?”

Lyc looks down, then at Cheera’s knee, then back to the front of her where she draws spirals into the sand, “No it was fine. Sure, it was a little touch and go there for my sanity, but beth friend was always there for me when I needed him. Sort of. But this is nice, you guys are my friends now!”

Cheera smiles, “I’m glad you think of us as your friends, I honestly thought we were going to be just like the adventurers I knew back home. On some level we are, but were on a holy quest and we stop evil and were time traveling now?! It’s all so amazing,” Cheera leans towards Lyc’s spiral drawings and begins drawing crude stick figures of everyone lined up.

“This is going to sound weird, but did you look like this when you were by yourself?” Cheera asked.

“I mean, I looked like alot of things while I was trying to hide from the owlbears and the werewolves and the people that would stumble through the woods and-”

“No I mean, uh, did you ever, like, look like…yourself?”

Lyc looked up at Cheera’s apologetic face and cocks her head to the side, “I always look like me?”

“You do! You are you and I like how you look now! I mean-I like whatever shape you take, it’s an awesome power to have! I mean…do you have a you that’s what you look like before you could change into other things?” Cheera’s face was heating up at this point, this conversation was starting to turn in a direction she didn’t mean to take it. She felt she should change the subject now before her foot could end up further in her mouth.

“Oh! You mean this?” Said Lyc just as Cheera turned to ask a question but faltered, for now sitting next to her wasn’t the wild gingered haired girl of the woods but I milky white humanoid with pale hair and translucent eyes. Cheera, not meaning to, watched as her hand touched the strands of hair in awe as her eyes grew wide in revenant. She had never seen anyone so…so…

“Pretty…”Cheera whispered to herself, but just as the words left her she stopped and looked up at the heated face of Lyc and she also flushed and turned away just as Lyc turned back into her ginger haired self.

“Oh! I-um…I’m sorry That was weird right? I mean, not you! You look super cool!I meant me, I was weird? I’m sorry, I’ll um…I’ll go back to keeping watch somewhere else…If you want…me to go…”Cheera stammered out, her embarrassment palpable. She went to stand but she felt a hand on her shoulder stop her. The hand pulled away and it was Lyc’s turn to be at a loss for words.

“No! I mean…you don’t have to go, I’m not mad or anything. It was just,” Lyc looks back at her spirals in the sand, hiding half of her heated face, “I’ve never been called…pretty before…” Lyc looked up at Cheera and, not looking her in the eyes, said, “But it’s fine if you…call me pretty. I think you look really cool too.”

Cheera scratched her head as she sat back down with Lyc and, while still looking at her knees, asked, “Um…what about pretty? Do you…do you think I look…like that?”

They both sat in a quiet tension, both flushed and not looking at each other. The silence seemed to stretch for hours.

“I think you look cute,” answered Lyc finally.

“C-cute?! Me?” Cheera stammered as she turned to look at Lyc as Lyc turned to look at her too.

“Yeah,” Lyc said, quietly, almost a whisper, but Cheera heard her, “You look cute when you stab things with your sword.”

“Thanks,” Cheera smiled and then looked back out at the horizon. Lyc went back to her spiral drawings, but soon let out a loud yawn. Cheera chuckled quietly, “Go ahead and lie down, get some sleep, you need to be energized for the rest of the journey tomorrow.”

Lyc blearly nodded her head as Cheera tucked her into her sleeping roll. Just as Lyc was finally dozing off, she heard footsteps coming toward her. She opened one eye to watch as Cheera placed her sleeping roll next to hers and sit on it.

“Just incase you get anymore nightmares, I’ll be here for you,” Cheera whispered as she took her watch again, looking out into the night. Lyc didn’t give an acknowledgement, she simply went back to sleep.

When Dan woke from his meditation to relieve Cheera, she scooted her bed roll closer to Lyc and, without touching the sleeping girl, fell asleep.

When the rest of the party woke up the next morning, they were greeted with the sight of Lyc cuddled protectively in Cheera’s arms.

Timeline: 34 AQB, Day 6

Ketyl’s POV

As we stepped through the doorway, we saw a thin sheet of water covering stone floor as far as the eye could see. The Guardian told us that the clue was “Look inside.”

We tested the sheer scale of this room. I walked as far as I could without losing sight of my comrades, but no change in the scenery. Dan sat down and began to meditate. Korbin began to bottle the water from the ground once he learned that it seemed to heal his wounds. Dan’s little rat began to gesticulate wildly and pointed to something in the air. I used my jetpack to get up there, expecting a concealed pathway, but landed safely on the ground.

Finally, Dan opened his eyes and told us to go to sleep. Like, look inside our eyelids? I guess changing perspectives through sleep could work. So I laid down in the water and tried to sleep. When I opened my eyes, the water was gone and the asteroids and lit pathway had returned.

As we were about to open the door, the door disappeared to reveal a group of Slaads that ambushed us. Suddenly, a grey Slaad flew into the air and shot a fireball at us. Dan trapped most of them in Black Tentacles, while Korbin and Dan kept them from escaping. The rest of us concentrated on taking out the grey one. We spread out to avoid another fireball. I animated my ball bearings and pummeled the creature alongside Kronk’s summoned cat creatures and Dan.

We mopped them up and stepped through the door to find whirling pathways even more confusing than before. They seemed to go on endlessly and we explored for a little while. I saw that there were grooves on the tile, but assumed that they were a stylistic decision. Finally, I got frustrated and tried prying up the tile. Lyc skipped up to me from the other connecting pathway and I told her to try to pry one up. She flung that thing so far into the sky, I can only assume that she had one that was already loose.

Beneath the tile was a space that seemed to extend past what was possible into a meadow. We gathered the others and told them what we had found. Off in the void, Korbin was drifting away with his feet firmly planted on a tile. We managed to get his attention and we all hopped down the hole. As we landed on the meadow, the hole where we had come from closed seamlessly into the sky.

It seemed we had passed all the trials, but where were we now? Still in Limbo? On another plane? Where is the time machine? And what would we do now?

Timeline: 34 AQB, Day 5-6

Ketyl’s POV

As we were resting in the room that Dan created, we began discussing the events that had just transpired. But soon, the spell would expire and we would be crushed by all the rubble.

Suddenly, a large drill-mounted vehicle burrowed up through the ground and the most bizarre little gnome popped out. With teeth filed to razor points and an unkempt beard, the creature was wearing naught but an obnoxiously high-collared coat and a star-spangled hat and thong. He told us that Dan, a different timeline Dan, had just met with him and told him to come rescue us. Fortuitous.

Presumably, we must have somehow escaped another way, perhaps with casualties. But with this, Dan had circumvented that. Perhaps paradoxes were harder to trigger than I feared. We didn’t have long to worry if this “El Chuch” was trustworthy as the room began to groan under the weight.

All he seemed interested in was coming along for the ride. I suppose that’s the least we could do in return. Apparently, he was able to direct us to our next location, we had to go back to the time machine because the time machine couldn’t be used by two versions of us at the same time without causing problems, which seems fair. Morael’s phylactery isn’t going anywhere.

Over night, the vehicle carried us to a cliff where a swirling vortex of energy awaited us. As Korbin and Dan rocketed through the portal, we began to hear a commotion. The rest of us managed our way, through rope bridge or jetpack, to get through the portal to the other side. What I saw was nothing short of astonishing. Korbin and Dan were fighting some kind of large frog humanoid creatures that I remembered as Slaads. That could only mean that we were in Limbo. I had thought we had merely teleported across the wastes, but to another dimension entirely?

The land was erratic and twisted, it seemed to not follow the laws of physics at all. Bits and large chunks of rock would float through the air as easily as a cloud on the wind. After defeating the creatures, we saw a man in the distance at what seemed to be a gate. Hopping from floating landmass to the next, we arrived with little difficulty. He introduced himself as the Guardian of the Gate and warned us that there would be three trials. The first one would “challenge our perspective” and no magic or technology would help us move through the area.

We passed through a door to see a gap in the pathway before us. On the other side lay yet another door with a stairway leading from below. But the gap was blocked by a vertical sheet of crackling energy. I threw a rock at it to test if it was an illusion, but the rock sizzled and rocketed back towards the ground in front of me. No go on that front. As we puzzled on how to get past, Dan walked off the edge of the cliff and seemed to go around the other side, eventually walking up the stairs on the other side. “Change your perspective,” huh? The rest of us followed and my stomach lurched as the ground suddenly flipped me to the correct orientation.

We came upon another Guardian, though he seemed a bit more dim. He let us through the gate, and asked if he could come with us. Eh, what the hell. Couldn’t be worse than the rakshasa. As we passed through the doorway, we saw what seemed to be a spiraling horizontal pathway. As we walked, the gravity shifted so that our feet were planted even when we would be upside down. As much as the concept of “upside down” means in a chaotic place like this.

Soon, we came upon another group of Slaads waiting in ambush. Dullards as they were, it wasn’t difficult to spot them. El Chuch created an illusion of a giant Slaad that began roaring and urinating all over the place. Crude, but effective as the Slaads began to run and cower. Except for one, who shot a fireball at the illusionary Slaad and croaked out what I assume were orders to attack to the others. As the battle raged, we managed to destroy all but the spellcaster, who we had knocked over a cliff and had all but incapacitated.

In front of us lay another gate, and two more trials would await us.

Timeline: Same Day

Ketyl’s POV

The fight was going pretty well on my end, but then Kronk disappeared in a burst of moonlight. Uh oh. Despite my best efforts, I was beaten to a pulp and all went dark.

I woke in the middle of the restricted section with Lyanna kneeling over me. Enna was right next to me, with her hand on my collar. I don’t know how, but I guess she must have rescued me somehow. Inside my hand were two mysterious stones. I guess I must have grabbed them before I went unconscious.

I looked around and saw dozens of those creatures and apparently we were also enemies of that wizard guy now? It’s been like two minutes, what the hell happened? Apparently, he was betraying us and trying to find out how we travelled through time. We couldn’t remember where the compass was, so he was getting rather frustrated.

I guess this was bound to happen eventually. Once Dan created his rope trick, I scrambled up the rope. I would have attacked the guy, but he seemed to be immune to magic. I dispelled the domination effect on Cheera and she went to help Korbin restrain the guy so that he’d die in the explosion.

I did my best to keep them alive, but those two are just determined to fight to the death. The castle was shuddering around us, it could collapse at any second. Also Lyc turned blue for some reason.

The rakshasa told us he would see us soon and teleported away. The castle began to collapse, but Korbin and Cheera managed to make it into the extradimensional space without dying.

I honestly didn’t think that was going to work out.

Timeline: 34 AQB, Same Day

Ketyl’s POV

As we continued blowing up the control room and killing the guards (sorry, Fireballs aren’t exactly non-lethal), the lights went dim and the sounds of clanging spread through the air vents. As we mopped up the morons in our room, a portal opened up in front of me and we stepped through to help finish the ones harassing the rest of our party. Dan quickly hit some buttons on a console to lock all the doors in the facility to prevent any more Guardians from swarming our destination.

The old man, who apparently actually WAS a mage, told us that these devices were limiters to the Arcane Engine’s power. By damaging them so thoroughly, we had very little time to get the right book before the complex would explode from the latent arcane energy. Yeah, that sounds about right for our group.

As most of our party began to prepare to teleport to the library, a plan began to form in my mind. That treasure room I came across last night couldn’t be guarded by more than one platoon at worst. If I played my cards right, I could get a few artifacts before the whole place blew to hell! Intrigued by my plan, Kronk offered to join me in the heist. Got to love this guy.

The mage, surprisingly, offered to send us over there as a distraction while they got the book. Pretty helpful of the old guy. As we stepped through another portal and rounded the corner, we saw that a group of Guardians were busy fighting off those creatures Cheera described to us. I grabbed Kronk and used my own magic to jump through a dimensional rift into the vault. Using wizard and warlock magic is easy, you just have to say the right words. But my magic is harder to explain. How can you explain to someone that you just feel music inside of you and then things happen?

Unfortunately, there was a group of them protecting the treasures in the vault, which seemed to be in many alphabetized and locked boxes lining the walls. I quickly spun a lie about how we’d run in here thinking we could be safe from the creatures and maybe even the explosion. They seemed to buy it, but weren’t willing to leave the vault to go help their comrades. Guess they weren’t going to make it easy for me. Hey, I tried to do this the easy way. I looked to Kronk and nodded towards the guards, and he summoned more of his bears. Got to love someone who’s willing to jump headfirst into my plans for once. You and me, Kronk, we’re going to be best buds.

Hopefully, the others were having a little easier of a go than we were. After all, they had more than just the two of us. Surely, they could handle themselves, right?

Timeline: 34 AQB, Days 4-5

Ketyl’s POV

We decided to rest for the evening, as it had been a long day. During the night, however, Cheera reported to me that she had seen some of the Guardians being incredibly secretive about hiding dead creatures that had infiltrated the facility. Further, that these same creatures had been warped by magic. This aroused my suspicion, so I snuck out of our room and took a look for myself. This cloak’s ability to aid my stealth has saved my hide more than once, I don’t think I’ll ever part with it. I found none of the creatures she spoke of, but I did find the Guardians searching for more of them. I also took a look at the vault, from the outside, of course. Two guards, big motherfuckers, at that. And the vault looked like it would need quite a bit of time to get through. Even if I managed to kill the guards on my own, reinforcements would get there before I could purloin anything. Too dangerous a heist on my own. I returned to our room.

In the morning, I remembered Orin’s warning about Louis Arizona being one of our future enemies and tried to do some research on him. Unfortunately, I couldn’t find anything I didn’t already know. I decided to do some research on stealth techniques and found some ways to maneuver past the blind spots of aberrations. Situational, sure, but perhaps it would come in handy someday.

Apparently, Korbin had gone on a tour of the facility at some point and decided he wanted to challenge some old mage they were keeping prisoner to see if he was hiding his true strength until the right moment. Or something. Honestly, it seemed like a foolish endeavor. If the mage WAS hiding something, he wouldn’t risk being discovered because some brute tried to fight him. He’d just pretend to be weak until the brute gave up or the Guardians stopped him. As a historian, the mage would be too important to put in any real danger.

So, I went along with the others to view the fight anyway from the viewing room. Who knows, maybe it’d be entertaining. Almost immediately, it became apparent that the old man was not going to publicly reveal himself as Korbin smacked the crap out of him. For all eyes, he seemed like just an ordinary old man. Then suddenly, Korbin dropped prone and began clawing at his chest, claiming that the old man was controlling him somehow. I could tell that Korbin was faking it, but for what purpose? The Guardians sent a patrol downstairs to control the situation.

Kronk seemed to have some kind of plan, so I followed him out and downstairs to a room where there were control panels. There were a few guards, but Kronk hinted to me that I should get them out of there. Odd, but ok. I tried to convince the guards to go as reinforcements since any mage that could take down Korbin had to be powerful. A few of them left, but there were still some of those elite-looking guards that I saw at the vault. And then Kronk summoned bears to attack the control panels, knocking out the systems protecting the library from infiltration. Oh, ok I guess that’s what we’re doing now.

An arrow whistled past my cheek, and I saw Ethel had taken position as well. Dan didn’t seem to approve of Kronk’s plan, but bound up the majority of the guards and one of the consoles in uncomfortably oily looking tentacles. Cheera and Lyanna were downstairs next to the cell, so I can only imagine the mayhem going on down there.

So, I’m hoping that WE aren’t the reason that the library eventually gets destroyed. That would suck. I pulled out my lute and began to strum out a few chords as my magic began to swell within me.

Cheera’s POV

Golly G! That is a very large vulture! Those are very large eggs! I don’t want to kill this Momma vulture and take her eggs but we need it to get assistance from Mr. Kip ☹️. Korbin is very aggressive but he’s doing the best!
OH MY GOD A GIANT SCORPION!

…Oh, it’s just one of Mr. Dan’s magic illusions, I can’t wait to get as good as magic as him soon! The guy who turns into a bear turned into a bear again! Yay! Bears are awesome! Holy moley, he’s gotten really strong lately, I bet he’s been training with Korben, they’re great friends, I want a training partner as cool and good at teaching as Korben!
Oh, ow, big birds peck really hard. Okay, I’m going to go over to those eggs now, Auntie would be super sad if I died again. Even if Ashava brings me back again it’s not a very pleasant feeling IMHO.
Okay, eggs on board. Check. Mrs. Liana on board. Check. Korben killing the momma vulture. Check! Ummmm…. Mr. Korben is eating the egg…. I guess he needs the protein?
Oh man this cart is going fast! Whee! Auntie would love this! Man we are so fast! These silly hyenas, don’t they learn that we aren’t people you can easily fight! Especially me and Me. Korben! We’re like the best hack and slash duo ever!
…. OH NO THERE IS ANOTHER VULTURE.
Oh look! I think that’s Mr. Kip’s restaurant. I wonder if I can yell loud enough for Mr. Kip to hear
us coming down the hill?
Is that Mr. Kip? OH MY GODDESS HE KILLED A VULTURE WITH A WAY OF HIS HAND!
Awesome!
Man, I can’t understand Mr. Kip but I understand food and he must be a really great, very kind, good hearted person by the way his food makes me feel reenergized! I’m so sad Auntie missed this meal, maybe we can have it again!
We got leftovers!
This library is awesome! These guys in suits aren’t the most exciting people, they also like their
rules alittle too….
LOOK AT THIS STUFF ISN’T NEAT! HOLY COW THIS COLLECTION SEEMS COMPLETE! THIS LIBRARY LOOKS LIKE IT HAS EVERYTHING! LOOK AT THESE TOMES, LEARNING UNFOLD, HOW MANY WONDERS CAN ONE LIBRARY HOLD?!
Oh, probably should have sung that to myself. Quietly. In my head.
Okay, gotta do research for this Phylactery thingy.
….
…. Oh books on magic weapons, what if I can get the Enchantress sometime cool. Like a crown? Oooooh.
DWARVES ARE SO COOL! Like the ones we saved on the mountain! I want them to make the Enchantress sparkle! Sparkle more!
I went to go watch Mr. Korben fight the guys, he’s so good at fighting really good! I should take notes! I am very proud to be his teammate!

Timeline: 34 AQB, Days 2-4

Ketyl’s POV

The vulture hadn’t noticed us yet, so I began to hatch a plan to snatch those eggs. Before I could do anything, Korbin greeted the bird, alerting it to our presence. How did this guy survive this long in Shao Khan’s army without learning the benefit of a surprise attack?

The vulture came at us, revealing the eggs in the nest. They were far too big for any of us to carry, but Kronk managed to find a cart nearby that we could use to transport the eggs back down the hill. As the battle raged, we managed to get a few of us to move the eggs onto the cart. As Korbin landed the killing blow, he began to devour the vulture before immediately attacking one of the eggs we needed. Seriously, what the hell? Dan managed to identify the problem as a mind-affecting curse emanating off that gnoll weapon that Korbin picked up. Kronk managed to get it away from him, bringing Korbin back to his senses just in time for us to hear the cry of another vulture heading towards us!

Hurrying, we pushed the cart down the hill and began to careen wildly past the different gnoll camps. I wonder if those dwarves made it out ok? Probably not. Korbin’s driving skills were keeping us from smashing into the rocks around us, but we were having trouble outrunning this buzzard. Dan, in another sound tactical decision, strapped his jetpack to the back of the cart and blasted us forward. By the time we reached the bottom of the mountain, we could see Chez Kipp before us and the vulture nearly on top of us. Skidding to a stop in front of Kipp himself, we saw him wave a hand, obliterating the giant bird in a blaze of fire far outstripping anything I had ever seen.

Seeing that we had only retrieved two eggs, Kipp started speaking to Dan in a language I didn’t understand. After a quick conversation, he brought us in for a feast beyond any words I could describe. To even attempt to describe the food I enjoyed that night would be an insult. Also, it’s best not to ask what exactly your food was made of when it comes to Kipp’s cooking. Over the course of a few days, he took us to the edge of the library of the Guardians of Lore, a cult of magic-hating warriors formerly led by Morael himself before Gullycloak revealed him to be a Lich. Kipp gave us some leftovers and a delivery to help smooth our meeting with the Guardians, given that they were still distrustful of magic-users.

Unsurprisingly, even after we disclosed why we had come, the Guardians were unwilling to let us just search the library for information on Morael’s phylactery. Further, they had apparently been searching for decades and had found nothing. Either these guys are incredibly incompetent or they’re not looking in the right places. Once we got in, I realized the difficulty immediately. There were at least several castle floors packed to bursting with books. I asked if there were any areas that the Guardians hadn’t searched yet, and they replied that there was a restricted area that we were not allowed into, even with supervision. Typical.

Dan seemed to be onto a lead, so the rest of us began researching topics more personal to us. Korbin spent his time training some of the younger Guardians, even beating up their teacher. Or so I heard from Cheera later, who had taken the time to watch the fight.

But would we be able to find information that had eluded the Guardians of Lore for a little over 30 years? Our quest was beginning to become more complex by the minute. Find out when I next summarize our journey!

Sometime after breakfast, but before lunch.

Korbin’s POV

Wow. I am hungry. I wasn’t dreaming of prime rib when I made us hold a vote for a leader of our group, but now it’s all I can think about. Dan answered yes right away while the others waffled in their answe…. oooh, waffles! Maybe with a side of bacon and lamb chops covered in scrambled eggs and syrup. Dan seems like a pretty good leader so far. He hasn’t offered us any meal breaks yet though… He did let us roast several gnolls. Reminds me of Roast Mutton. Mmmmm. With leeks, and turnips. We fought something else, I forget what it was… Dogs? A big gnoll maybe? That wouldn’t make any sense. Can’t eat a gnoll… Can you? I don’t really remember why this was important. I know we’re going to eat eggs. Maybe I’ll eat a vulture too. Then Kipp will cook up a meal for us. Yumm, I hope there is beef steaks, and potato stew. Chopped liver with mustard sauce and marshmallow cream. Pasta heaped on top of sushi rolls and rare cooked meats spilling out of a bowl made of macaroni. Chicken wings smothered in Lemon pepper sauce and dripping with fresh chopped garlic juice. Pork belly biscuits, tenderloin, and manticore tail sizzling in an oversized pan filled with virgin olive oil. Deep fried Goblin chef, and baked cheera cassarole. I’m so very hungry. It would be wrong to eat Dan, He’s our leader, but I suppose after everyone else has been eaten there is no one else for him to lead…. I wonder what magic man tastes like…

Timeline: 34 AQB, Same Day

Enna’s POV

All of a sudden there was a flash of moonlight, and I found myself in a wooded area with my fellow time-travelers. After catching me up on when we were, everyone told me that Dan Mysterio was in charge now; I was very skeptical about his leadership abilities. As befitting a Gob Vegas showman, he can be flashy and charismatic, but that doesn’t mean he should be in control of our group’s destiny. I wish I had been around for the vote.

From a distance, we watched a canvas being set on fire, driving out several gnolls that were huddled underneath. It wasn’t long before we could see our previously invisible fire-wielding heroes: Korbin and Cheera! With little help from the rest of us, they killed all the gnolls and set about freeing a pack of chained dwarves, who gifted Cheera a magical breastplate for her trouble. I admire her bravery and strength, but she foolishly puts herself in harm’s way too often. True, she has Ethel to look out for her, but one should always look out for themselves and rely on no one else. It’s the only way to ensure survival.

We left our location, all of us unnerved by the sounds of baying hounds that seemed to be ganing on us, and ran towards a cliff, where I could see the enormous eggs that we were meant to bring back to Silotown at the request of some diner owner. Yes, this was our task. Maybe I should ask these people why we do these crazy things more often, but I often just feel glad that I’m not having a scrape by on the streets of GV these days.

However, we had to fight several more gnolls, a large dog, and someone who seemed to be in charge of the gnolls before we could get to the eggs. Inspired by what I saw earlier, I decided to conserve some arrows and cast a fire spell, setting three of the gnolls alight. I changed position so that I could better watch them writhing in agony. Unfortunately, I got a little too close to the boss and ended up on the ground, unconscious. When I came too, I swear I could feel the healing warmth of some kind of divine spirit. Maybe there is something to Lyanna’s constant ramblings about Ashava. Weakened by my brush with death, I managed to kill a single gnoll with my rapier before the end of our battle.

We could hear the baying hounds getting closer again…I hope we can move those eggs in time. Dan handed me a jetpack and told me I could use it 4 times. What kind of plan did our “leader” come up with?

Timeline: 34 AQB, Same Day

Ketyl’s POV

I was starting to get upset at having to constantly divert our mission. I’m starting to see why Kipp didn’t just do this himself. We can’t keep wasting limited resources on every Tom, Dick, and Harry that needs our help. But Korbin is so obsessed with saving people that it’s getting in the way of saving the world, ironically. Cheera is similarly motivated, but she’s also eager to please. This makes it easier to wrangle her out of danger, which I’m sure relieves Ethel to no end. After arguing about it for a while, Korbin suggested that we actually elect a leader to make the hard decisions. He claimed that his status as a soldier would force him to follow orders, if they make sense anyway. I agreed, if only to speed these useless arguments along. We’ll see if it actually works out.

I nominated myself, naturally, but the others nominated Dan Mysterio and Cheera. Cheera isn’t exactly leader material as she’s too naive, but she at least has a good heart. Dan, while his morals seem loose enough to make the hard choices, is difficult to trust at best due to his unpredictable nature. Ultimately, the vote went in Dan’s favor and I didn’t have much choice but to trust his judgment.

Surprisingly enough, he did an ok job of steering us past the worst of the hazards. He did give Cheera and Korbin a chance to save some enslaved dwarves. Luckily, we managed to ambush some gnolls there were trying to ambush anybody trying to save the dwarves with some judicious use of invisibility and fire.

Since we managed to actually have a plan this time, I can’t be upset. And perhaps the dwarves’ somewhat suicidal promise to free any other slaves on their way down the mountain would serve as an adequate distraction.

We managed to avoid a few more unnecessary fights, and made our way nearly to the top where we were confronted by yet more gnolls, some kind of demon dog, and a much more intimidating gnoll-like creature. We made fairly short work of them despite some initial difficulties at crowd control. As Korbin cut down the beefier one and took its admittedly very evil-looking weapon, I felt a slight twinge of uncertainty. I couldn’t figure out what the feeling pertained to, so I let it pass.

We managed to finally reach the top. As I began considering how tall this mountain was, my initial plan to use Feather Fall might not cut it. It would only work for 600 feet. While this would allow us to do a snatch and grab, it might not get us all the way down. I didn’t have much time to think about it as we suddenly saw the largest vulture I had ever seen in my entire life.

Timeline: 34 AQB, Day 1-2

Ketyl’s POV

As soon as we stepped out of the machine, we heard a cry for help over the hill. Korbin sprinted off while the rest of us took our time to get there.

By the time I got there, I saw Korbin, Kronk, and some injured man on top of a boulder across from a bunch of angry-looking orcs. They yelled at us to get to higher ground. I knew better than to ask twice with that kind of warning.

I didn’t have to wait long as a giant purple worm-like creature with ridges along its side burst from the sand. Apparently, we were going to take down the creature in order to help the orcs?

After a fairly quick battle, we learned that the orcs were going to take the worm to some restaurant where they were promised the greatest meal of their lives. So we followed them, hoping to join in and maybe get some info on where we had ended up in relation to the library.

When we got there, it was none other than the famous restaurant, Chez Kipp! Both admired and feared throughout the wastes for his visionary and horrifying approach to cuisine, Kipp was the owner and also a former Silotown Savior. After talking with Dan, Kipp treated us to a wonderful feast and wine pairing on the house. I’ll admit that I haven’t had good wine in a long time, and I let myself get carried away. As much as I look down on Korbin and Ethel for their addiction to the drink, I can certainly see the appeal in losing yourself for an evening. At some point, we lost track of the orcs we had arrived with, but those ribs we had were unlike anything I’ve ever tasted, so I guess I wasn’t really paying attention anyway.

I don’t remember much of what happened after that, but I woke up in the morning with a splitting headache. Luckily, I was treated to a nice Bloody Mary to relieve my hangover. We were told that Dan had bargained a deal with Kipp that if we got some eggs for him that he’d take us straight to the library, make us a meal and even an extra surprise if we got more than two eggs.

So we decided to go to the mountain where the Roc eggs could be found. Besides the Rocs as threats, there were also quite a few Gnolls to contend with, but we could sneak around them with the aid of some spells. We were doing pretty well for a while, until Korbin saw some slaves being forced to work and tried to free them. Our argument over the inconvenience of helping out every random person tipped the gnolls off to our location and we had to kill them. Korbin managed to free the slaves, hopefully it won’t come back to bite us later.

Luckily, I don’t think the entire mountain found out, so we still have a chance at pulling off this caper.

Korbin’s POV

Wow,
What a day. I’ve never had so much trouble getting to a library. I usually just get up from sleepy nap time, and think. “I didn’t drink enough last night, I should go check out ‘Art of War’ from the library, and read it for the 50th time while getting drunk,” Then I would go to the library and do just that.
We met the googly eyeball guy again, and he seemed more confused than me. I’m not surprised either. Everyone trying to explain everything to him all at once.
That part was boring. You know what isn’t boring? Making friends and riding on the top of giant purple worms! Yeah, I saved this guy named Ankleak (did he just make up that name because the dudes Ankle was Leaking blood), and then joined forces with my new best buds, The Sporks, a rip roarin crew of fun and food loving Orks armed to the snaggle teeth with spears! (did he just… whatever) I gave Ankleak some money and sent him on his way home. Hope he makes it. Then we dragged this big worm to someplace that still wasn’t a library. Seemed like Dan Mysterio was really excited about the Goblin and his food. I just wanted to go hang out in the special room with my new friends the Sporks, but the goblin cook said No. Later we ate some really yummy food. I wished my friends the Sporks were with us at dinner…. So, then Dan said we have to get these big eggs and the Goblin will take us to the Library. Seems like an unnecessary diversion. I’m no longer certain whom the commander of this cadre of Ashava is anymore. I first assumed that it was none other than the lovely Alanna, but sharing in several battles has proven her to be a lousy commander. She is quite lovely though. The old woman who fears death could be a natural leader, but she is too fond of her drink and threatening her companions, the one who changes into creatures is too removed, and doesn’t seem to fully understand the gravity of this quest… I also, do not fully understand the gravity of this quest. Why not simply go back in time and Kill Moldark? Anyway, without clear leadership this group constantly debates tactics, even though none of them truly understand the meaning of the word. Perhaps when we get to this library I shall get them each a copy of “Art of War.” Oh, they finally finished arguing about whatever it was, and now we are sneaking up a mountain to steal eggs. I tell my friends that we must free some slaves that we see. They are being tormented by some dog faced brutes that don’t look like they will make friends. My friends start to yell and argue again. Nobody could see me roll my eyes now, because the singy songy one made me invisible. Their fear of death even with the knowledge that Ashava will bring us back, clouds the beating of the blood in their veins. I wonder how they can even know the choices they make are the right ones with so much interFEARence. Haha, that was a good one. I don’t listen to the others, I listen to my heart.

Timeline: 50 years AQB, several days pass (then we hop timelines)

Ketyl’s POV

As we screeched to a halt, our two druids and Lyc (sobbing profusely) disappeared and were replaced by Korbin and Cheera in a rush of darkness.

We decided to rest for the night after that terrible battle. Dan forged a note from the Kobolds claiming that they were completely safe. I also learned a startling, yet ultimately very anticlimactic revelation about Dan’s true Elven name.

We opened the train cart door to find a massive metal wall with lasers and fire-spewing dragon heads. We tried to send Dan in, flying and invisible, to get past the defenses, but he was nearly shot out of the sky. The others went to the front door and had much better success. Once we explained the situation, we were taken to a decontamination station to prevent infection by worms. As we were passing through a morbid trophy room, we learned that the entire town was run by a copy of one of the Saviors’ mind, Orlaaz’, which controlled the defenses and all the robots we saw through a massive mainframe. Apparently, the plague and the wars had killed most of the Saviors and all the townspeople, leaving only robots and a few Saviors left.

Eventually, we asked to see Gullycloak, but were directed to a ghastly skeletal Devil-like creature known as Roren. I had heard of his sexual depravity, but it was even creepier than I had imagined. He told us he would help us secure a meeting with Grimsbone, Gully’s enforcer, in exchange for Korbin’s help in finding a “sub” that would stay with Roren for 2 years for… well, you know. They signed a contract that would take effect in any timeline in 30 days if Korbin didn’t fulfill his vow using their blood.

Soon, we were whisked off to a meeting with Grimsbone, who demanded a trial by combat in order to meet Gullycloak. After we passed the trial, we met Gullycloak, and he didn’t recognize us. After some convincing, he gave us two possible choices on were to go next.

He told us that the plague came from Morael, and that Gullycloak had been searching for info of the location of Morael’s phylactery, but that it had burned in a fire in a library 15 years ago (in 35 AQB) and he gave us the coordinates. If we could find out where the phylactery was, we could go back further in time and then destroy it so that the plague would never happen.

He also told us that the greatest bard of all, Ziggy Stardust, could have more information for us to go on, but that he had disappeared without a trace 25 years previously (in 25 AQB).

He then gave us the location of Orin’s digging site where the time machine was supposedly buried, before Gullycloak collapsed of undisclosed illness and died before ascending to become Ashava’s right hand. He told us that he would go back in time to inform us of our destiny the first time, giving us a nice little time loop.

We then headed to Orlaaz’ workshop, where we were given a hot air balloon that ran on hair for some reason. We also got a few of his prototype inventions, including a megaphone for me so that I could spread my song to a wider audience. Talk about lucky. So we travelled for a few days to the dig site and met up with Orin.

He seemed very confused, so I guess this was the first time in his timeline that he met us. After we explained the situation, and that he would probably be stuck in the time machine forever in order to save the world, he reluctantly agreed to help us.

Finally, we decided that we would go to 34 AQB, or one year before the library would burn down, to give us more time to find the info. We climbed into the machine, and off we went!

Time frame: 50 years AQB, Same Day

Ketyl’s POV

I hear the train a’ comin’, it’s roaring through the sand
And I only seen the zombies a’roamin’ ‘cross the land,
I’m stuck at Kobold Tower, without a bike to drive
But those zombies keep a coming, will we all survive?
When I was just a baby my mama told me. Son,
live to fight another day, don’t help those who can’t pay.
But we had to find that silo, so we could save the world.
When I hear those zombies moaning, I see our fate unfurled.

In SIlotown, there’s rich folks eating in a fancy dining hall
They’re probably drinkin’ coffee and having a big old ball.
We were slinging spells and arrows, far as the eye could see
But those zombies keep a comin’
And that’s what tortures me…

Well that train, it finally landed
So you know what we had to do
We said “Lyc, push that button,” “Ok, since you told me to!”
Firing into the sunset, to the Kobold’s dismay!
And we let that lonesome whistle blow their screams away…..

Time frame: 50 years AQB, 2 more days pass

Ketyl’s POV

As we were cleaning up after the battle, Korbin appeared in a burst of moonlight.

We tried to explain what had happened but he didn’t quite seem to get it. He and I determined that it would take 12 hours to repair the car. Partway through the day, we were beset by more zombies.

Most of us tried to get Korbin to avoid fighting them, but he was particularly bull-headed (heehee) so we just let him go after them. Eventually, he realized they were a true threat and asked for help, so Kronk and I helped him out so he wouldn’t die again. Lyanna cured him of his worm infestation.

We managed to avoid another attack by the zombies and finished the car. Throughout the day, we blasted through a horde of zombies, nearly losing Cheera overboard after she lost her balance.

We also came across a tree surrounded by some weird people who were bent on protecting it and tried to get us to eat its’ sap. Pretty creepy, so we moved on.

Finally, we came upon a bunch of Kobolds from the gang Cobalt Lightning. They claimed that they were trying to repair some kind of fast-travel train station that would get us to Silotown instantly. Apparently, their leader, Qohan, had left a long time ago to destroy the zombies and never came back. He was also very emotionally unstable, apparently. We agreed to protect them from any zombie attacks. If we can get out of this green-sky hellscape faster, sign me the hell up.

Sure enough, we began to see zombies on the horizon and fought a few of them off, but we had many more to defeat since the repairs could take an hour or two more.

Time Frame: 50 years A.Q.B., 1.5 days pass

Ketyl’s POV

We headed out into the wastes and quickly came upon a drum that allowed us to move more quickly through the wastes. We now had a little less than two week’s journey to Silotown. We came upon some really tough undead that spit worms at us but we managed to defeat them. We also came upon a man who claimed to be from Rennin, also a ruin by now.

I guess that means mother is definitely dead by now. She wasn’t young before having me in the gutters of Rennin, the drugs didn’t help with that, and more than 50 years had passed since I had seen her. And then all this… perhaps Dad is still alive somewhere considering how slow elves age, but there’s no guarantee. Mom had told me how he had always kept her on her toes with his magic tricks before he became cruel. I don’t want to even think of the implications of a man like that having charming or ensorcelling magic. I hope the bastard is dead.

Part of me still wants to see Rennin again, but we had to keep moving. We have a larger mission than my childish parental issues. They would just laugh it off as a “Cat’s in the Cradle” situation anyway.

Eventually, we met up with one of the Silotown Saviors, Razzo, who tried to get us in on a deal to buy some ghosts and dune buggies, but his prices were way too high. He told us of how he kept ghosts prisoner until they performed services for him, even ghosts of children. I considered purchasing a few so I could release them once we had safely reached Silotown, but I couldn’t afford to be generous… plus perhaps they’d be saved if we saved the world anyway.

After a night of sleep, we set out on the path again. We came across a strange vehicle, and found that it was powered by hair. Next to some skeleton with a cowboy hat and a sheriff star pinned to his jacket. A note signed ‘D’ said that he clearly didn’t make it to where he was going, so we could take his stuff.

After some work, we managed to get the vehicle moving. I was taught how to drive it by Kronk, and I was doing pretty well for a while. It was nice feeling the wind blowing through my hair after the dry heat of the wastes. Unfortunately, I crashed it into a ritual full of what looked like cultists. They seemed to be stuffing corpses full of insects, presumably they were at least partly responsible for the undead menace.

Unsurprisingly, they did not take my offer of peace and attacked us. Without Korbin there, we had nobody to draw the attacks of our enemies. One of them was so powerful, using magic like I had never seen. That sleet… even the blistering heat of the wastes were nothing next to the chill freezing my bones. After we managed to beat a few back, he disappeared from existence. I had assumed that he had teleported away to report to his superiors, perhaps even Morael. How foolish I was. He had turned himself invisible, just as I had with the frost giants.

So stupid of me not to consider that possibility, and it nearly cost several of our party their lives. Even with the blessing of Ashava, we will not keep getting lucky forever.

Forgive me for going off track mid-fight, but something has been nagging me for a while. A time travel paradox happens when something is changed in the past that would affect someone’s present situation. For instance, say one or more of us died for good. We would complete our quest as normal and set ourselves up for the future to preserve the time loop. We would do this by setting up a “prophecy” with all of our faces, presumably with an artist so that our faces are recorded on that scroll. Let’s call them group A and our current selves group B. The original members of group B saw all of them depicted in that painting. But if one of group B dies for good before they can be depicted in the painting, then it changes their whole reason for going on the adventure, causing a paradox.

Further, say everything goes off without a hitch and we save the world. What happens to us? By saving the world, we’ll have negated our whole reason for going on the quest as the world would never have needed to be saved.

And even if we somehow don’t cause any paradoxes that destroy us or our family or whatever… the people of the future, Iona, Razzo, all the people in the monastery… by changing the present, or their past, we would be wiping out this version of them. While there aren’t many people left, changing the events of the timeline will effectively be genocide on this timeline. Sure, we’ll be saving many more people in the process, but does it excuse effectively killing all of the remaining people of this world? This is a far heavier burden than I anticipated, than any of us could have anticipated.

I guess we don’t really have a choice or any way around it. Not everybody can fit in that time machine and they’d be effectively trapped in it like Orin currently is. I can’t say I understand all of it, but we’ll have to do it, morality concerns be damned.

Sorry, had to get that out of my system.

Anyway, I managed to get rid of his invisibility with my faerie fire and took him out without much fuss. We mopped up the last few and took a look at our vehicle. A part of it had broken off in the crash, hopefully it could still run. We searched the bodies of the cultists for any clues and only found some gold and some scrolls.

No clues, a possibly broken vehicle, and a whole lot of time between us and Silotown. This would be a long trip.

Time Frame: ???, 50 years A.Q.B.

Ketyl’s POV

(In order to make things clearer, from now on, I will be using B.Q.B. for “Before Quest Begins” and A.Q.B. for “After Quest Begins.” Time travel will be far too confusing without a timeline.)

I looked around the vessel. Strangely, it looked bigger on the inside than I would have thought. Orin handed us a pamphlet that explained how we should handle time travel. He remained pretty dodgy, advice-wise, which is probably for the best. Don’t want to cause any paradoxes that might screw him or us over. He told us to make our way for Silotown once we landed, but that he had no idea where we end up, only when. Specifically, 50 years into our future, what he called “the end of things.”

When we landed, we came across a small village and we were soon beset by devils. After a long battle, we managed to finish them off. We were approached by some kind of powerful devil who offered us a deal. He told us we were in Tarathel, a country formerly populated by angels that were torturing one of their own kind to provide for everyone. They were overthrown and the devils took over. However, Iona, a powerful paladin of Heironeous, had raised an army that kept the devils stuck in Tarathel, unable to pass to the lands beyond. His offer was to play piggyback in one of our bodies in order to be smuggled across and, in return, he would guarantee safe passage and the ability to resist some form of damage, like he had.

Obviously, a deal with a devil is something to be vary cautious of, so I tried to fast-talk our way to a much better deal that I would eventually renege on, a classic scam that any child of the gutter would know. While Korbin ruined this plan with his recklessness in accepting the brand, we still managed to get a tidy sum for each of us on top of the gift thanks to my negotiating. I didn’t want to make a deal with devils, but fighting through an entire country of devils seemed difficult, at best. I wasn’t going to risk any of us dying, certainly not Lyanna, if I could avoid it. And if I’m making a deal, you’d best believe that I’m going to profit from the deal.

However, Ethel was furious that I was even considering the deal, going off in a huff. Her stubbornness is really getting in the way now. Cheera followed her, powerless to resist her aunt’s whims. Although Cheera isn’t much younger than I, she was still a child in many ways, unable to go against her family.

Further, that nutty woman brought up my mother, claiming that she would be ashamed of me. While I managed to brush it off, her words stirred in me a cold bile. Mother… dead to the world as she was, I could care less what she would think. After dad left, she spent all her money on booze and drugs, even resorting to prostitution, until… I had to leave, even at my young age. Anything was better than with her, or so I thought. The streets… are far worse than anything you could imagine. For a child… I suffered unspeakable things. But I survived, and that’s all that matters. I don’t know what happened to her, but it doesn’t matter now. Survival and profiting off a good story, that’s all that matters now.

I shouldn’t let that old bat’s words affect me so much. I know she can only think of her own morals and projects them onto everyone else. Regardless, she had to rejoin us for the quest so she’ll just have to deal with it.

As I looked upon the pentagram carved into Korbin’s fur, I felt a twinge of concern. He may be a bit dim, but I had planned on him being the sacrifice should this plan go south. I certainly wasn’t going to accept the brand and I knew he had little impulse control. I looked over the others as we walked: Sol, calm and collected as always, presumably a side effect of that metal body of his. Kronk, a fire burning behind those gentle eyes. Cheera, her eponymous mood would keep us going in the dark times to come. Enna, quiet and shy, but you can always trust a fellow urchin to look out for herself. Lyanna, a woman who asked for none of this, hefted the fate of the world on her shoulders. And Ethel… much as we may disagree on our methods, she could be trusted to protect the others, even if it claimed her life.

We finally made it to the wall, glorious and radiant. We were approached by angels, who seemed surprised that humans were alive in this country for old devils. They immediately saw the brand on Korbin’s chest and whisked him away for quarantine. They led the rest of us through a secret tunnel to a hall on top of the mountain with many paladins, monks, and clerics training to protect the wall. As we met up with Korbin an hour later, Iona met with us. After I explained that Orin had sent us, she warily replied that Orin had been considered dead for nearly 15 years. I have to keep a note of that, in 35 years, Orin will either die or go missing. Anyway, we explained that we were time travellers, and that Orin had told us to go to Silotown, hoping to find something we could use to fix the problems of the past.

She settled down and, at dinner, she told us everything that had happened. After Shao Khan’s death, Moldark had declared war on the south, sending waves of vampires for decades. By the time SIlotown had won, they had taken many casualties. But suddenly, they were accosted on several fronts by Morael and some worm-plague that he developed, a resistance group by some person known as the Elder. We inquired about Louis Arizona, and she replied that he was the leader of the Drow, but had no idea of what his involvement was. The wastes and the Northern Kingdom had succumbed over time, with nearly no life left outside those walls. Just hordes of Morael’s undead were left. Further, no word had come from SIlotown in years. This monastery may be the last refuge in the world, for all we know. Nonetheless, the compass pointed to Silotown, so we have no choice but to try and avoid the undead. It would take us days, perhaps weeks on foot. I knew I would never take that old cart and donkey for granted again.

Seeing our determination, Iona knew she couldn’t stop us and she offered us a place to rest for the night and whatever supplies we could purchase. She told us that she would help more, but she couldn’t afford to take away protections from her students at the monastery. I can’t say that I blame her, much as I wish that I could. Even if we succeed and this entire timeline is destroyed, she won’t ever know that world in which we succeeded. That thought gave me pause. If we succeed, this timeline’s version of people will be essentially wiped clean. A genocide of the highest order. Even with all we’ve done, nothing could compare to the mistakes we could make with time travel. We all bedded down for the night, but I doubt that sleep will soothe my troubled mind.

10/17-10/20

Ketyl’s POV

I’m not going to lie, all these flashes of moonlight causing my party members to appear and reappear is getting really annoying. Some other bearded guy walked into the citadel we were staying at. Korbin seemed to know him as Kronk, so I guess he’s joining us? Apparently, he’s a druid.

As we headed out, we experienced some snow fall. One day passes without incident. Korbin set about making some strange contraption.

Another day passes without incident. We captured some gnome who was a slave to some giants who forced him to build something. We forced him to take us north. Apparently, Korbin created a cover for the wagon. I was actually rather impressed as I had thought Korbin reckless and perhaps a bit dim. I’d have to revise my idea of him to just reckless.

After some time on the third day, we saw a few camps and the compass pointed directly towards a cave on the hill where treasure was being held. We set up a plan where Grimaldi and I would sneak into the cave while Kronk would set a fire by the southwest camp as a distraction.

As we make our way to the hill, we see and hear an explosion coming from the southwest camp. So far, the plan is going off without a hitch. Now for Grimaldi’s insane plan. Wow, his plan was terrible, but somehow it still managed to work.

We still had to fight off some giants and their dogs, but I managed to slow them down with some overgrown plants. I quickly turned myself invisible to avoid being targeted. Suddenly, I saw Korbin pushing boulders down on one of the giant. Dan managed to make one’s head explode, I better keep an eye on him.

The others drew the enemies’ attention while Dan and I managed to make it into the cave. We saw this strange contraption among all the treasure. While I would have liked to sift through our spoils a little bit longer, we heard a hoard of frost giants approaching at high speed. A man opened the contraption and told us to hurry. Everybody managed to snag something before piling into the vehicle. I managed to snag some sweet studded leather and some kind of wondrous cloak.

The man pressed some buttons and we were suddenly taken away from the cave and I had no idea where we had gone. What was most obvious was the robe covered in what appeared to be swivelling, unblinking eyes. His skin had a strange metallic sheen and he had green hair and eyes. I recognized him from stories of the Silotown Saviors, but I couldn’t place which one he was.

He was clutching his side, a gash staining his hand and robe. He seemed rather confused, asking what had happened recently. We told him what had happened so far and he asked if we had met the Elder or Louis Arizona yet. Seeing our confusion, he cursed, saying that he’d altered events by telling us and now we had to encounter those threats. At this, I knew that my theory had been correct. Time travel shenanigans. If I played my cards right, this could be an even greater tale than Ziggy’s tale of the Silotown Saviors!

He told us that he would be taking somewhere in this contraption. Or rather… someWHEN. Is that the proper way to say that? Had we entered a time machine? What would happen next?

Uh-oh, I just realized we left Leeloo and the cart behind. Hope we can find her later.

10/16-10/17

Ketyl’s POV

As we entered the room of the Trial by Combat, the door closed behind us. Classic. Korbin pulled a lever, spawning a bunch of gross things and a demonic gorilla.

After we took them out, we freed a large, angelic being who told us he was the brother of Ashava. He told us the story of Ashava and how she ascended to godhood. When we opened the tomb, we were given a note and some sort of compass that would lead us to some kind of thing that would allow us some payback against Moldark.

We met with a merchant who told us of a cleric who could cure our lycanthropy to the northeast. As we travelled by donkey cart, we were pursued by owlbears. We managed to avoid it for awhile, but it got stuck. Korbin jumped out to distract the owlbears while Cheera jumped out to get the cart unstuck.

Unfortunately, Korbin fell and was eaten by the owlbears as we escaped. And then, Korbin reappeared in the cart with us with an owlbear beak stuck in his shoulder. As we reached the cleric’s domain, we were cured of our lycanthropy. Praise Ashava for curing us of our affliction. We decided to spend the night to avoid more encounters with owl bears. I spent my time performing for the children.

Tomorrow, we’ll be on our way to the north, where the compass was pointing. The snowy tundra awaits us.

10/15-10/16

Ketyl’s POV

As our group travels down the road, we see a dishevelled woman with a trapped raccoon run up to us. Apparently, Cheera knows her as Lyc. As we met up with the others, we told them about our curse. We rest for the night to get a fresh start.

Suddenly, Lyanna, Sol, and Grimaldi disappear in a flash of moonlight.

We went further into the crypt. Corbin insisted on us being under some painting to shield us from moonlight. As we went through a secret door, we saw a chest full of treasure. We debated over the morality of stealing from the crypt, but ultimately decided against it. As Corbin walked into the room, he sprung a trap, sending falling rocks crashing down on us. Most of us dodged out of the way, but Cheera had her leg trapped. We were then attacked by white corpses who claimed that they had been waiting to eat us.

After the fight, I felt overwhelmed with the need to steal. I grabbed the ring and the belt and put them on. I felt more comfortable and stronger. Clearly, I had the right idea.

At some point, Enna appeared in a flash of moonlight. I honestly don’t remember when, as I was a little zoned out.

As we go through a hallway, Dan is accosted by a spirit that he drags out of the water. To our surprise, the spirit stops attacking him and thanks him for helping.

We come into a dark room and keep falling off these narrow rails. We finally get across, though Dan unfortunately died and reappeared in the next room.

I found another secret room with a treasure chest underwater. I wanted to go in and get it, but Cheera convinced me to let her do it. As soon as she jumped in, she was attacked by some sort of sentient water creature. After a long battle, I was scolded for my greed.

Hypocrites, the lot of them. Willing to murder people over a slight, willing to steal from corpses and innkeepers who gave them rest. But taking spoils from a chest after we fight a battle for it is where we draw the line? Especially considering this is clearly a trial. Trapped rooms, puzzle rooms, saving a ghost, impossibly dark balancing acts?

I won’t talk about it more because it just makes me more upset.

We come back to a prayer room where we dance to honor Ashava. Against Corbin’s greatest efforts not to help, we manage to open the next doors with our dancing.

Suddenly, we came to a pair of doors with the words “Trial by Combat” above. As we pushed open the doors, what sort of foes would we face next?

10/14-10/15

Ketyl’s POV

Grimaldi appeared and we filled him in on what happened. We began to head to the crypt. On the way, we came to the charming town of Lupinport. Ethel seemed to go off, probably to drink. I chose to replenish my coin purse, so I looked around for an easy mark. Found a guard whose attention seemed to be lax, lifted some gold and a silver arrow. Guess the warnings about lycanthropes weren’t for nothing.

Grimaldi and I make some money off the people as a group of sketchy-looking men start gathering around the exits. Dan starts performing his magic. Luckily, they move out the back door after Korbin talks to them.

The next morning, we met with the mayor. He was a douche, so I stole his stuff. Then we told some people that the mayor was attempting to leave people. May have started a riot, but that’s not important. We got some provisions from Goblin Gary at a steal, and we followed Korbin, Dan, and Lyanna out of town.

As we travelled down the road, we were ambushed by some werewolves. I cloaked them in some Faerie’s Fire and started cutting one with my silver dagger. Slowly, it became clear that we were being overwhelmed. I was used to being far from the front lines and I could feel the werewolf’s curse struggling to take over my mind. I’d have to get cured soon or I’d become a danger to those around me. As we finally took the rest of the werewolves down, we were exhausted. But we couldn’t stop, we had to catch up with the rest of our party so that we could rest and be cured of our ills.

10/13-10/14

Ketyl’s POV

Cheera reappears while Sol and Enna disappear in a burst of moonlight. We caught her up to speed about what happened while she was gone.

Dan’s weird pet kept scuttling around, I guess Dan can see what he sees. We came across a barred passage that Korbin was too impatient to saw through. We came across an aberration of tentacles and bulbous flesh. Cheera struck a mighty blow, cleaving flesh from the creature in a wide arc as green bolts flew from Dan’s fingertips. Korbin charged the creature, knocking him directly into Cheera’s blade, cleaving it in twain.

Dan finds a way into the servant’s quarters by tying off a rope down the pipe. He further creates a distraction which allows access to hallway near the courtyard. We try to convince some guards to take us to Shao Khan, but I had to charm one of them. The other guy was not quite as agreeable, so we had to kill him.

As we reach the throne room, we see about 20 vampire spawn being nailed to crosses, including Shao Khan. On the throne is not Shao Khan, but Moldark. 12 vampires, dressed as nobles, including Lord Preibus and Lord Bannon, are overseeing the overthrowing. We are welcomed in, as they believe we’re still down for this.

Korbin charges, slitting his wrist, and slamming it into Shao Khan’s mouth while simultaneously pulling the stake out of Shao Khan’s chest. Dan, Cheera, Lyanna, Enna, and I bolted while Ethel attempted to stay behind and help Korbin. Frankly, I think Korbin is insane. Old rulers are overthrown all the time. We did our best, now we have to protect Lyanna. I can only hope that Ashava will protect them and Shao Khan.

We were pursued by bats, but Cheera tried to slow them down so we could escape. I don’t know what happened to the others, but I was surrounded by vampires and suddenly the world went dark.

I woke up on a strange, rocky landscape only to be informed that I had just died. Dying is a strange sensation, not much different from falling asleep. As I looked around, I saw that my companions were there, including Lyanna. Apparently, we had all died in our attempt to escape. Gullycloak, the apparently former High Priest of Ashava, told us we did very well. We pointed out that we had failed pretty miserably and he waved it aside. He claimed that he was looking out for us, and would be meeting us soon for the first time… but that he wouldn’t recognize us. Ethel and Enna seemed more upset than the rest of us, claiming that they didn’t even believe in Ashava and didn’t appreciate being roped into her game against their will. Unfortunately, the proof is in the pudding and that’s just how stories go when gods get involved.

Suddenly, we began to wake up on cold slabs, covered in funeral shrouds. A young pageboy in Ashavan robes began to speak to us, claiming that he was the new High Priest of Ashava. Apparently, Moldark had been busy, slaughtering every one in line to be High Priest until someone gave in and approved his ascension in the name of Ashava. This boy had managed to get our bodies and equipment back as part of the deal. Pretty impressive, if you ask me. He revealed a sealed tube containing an ancient painting. Apparently, there was a prophecy of Ashava’s Chosen One, a messiah who would save the church from the bring of destruction. Supposedly, she was due to return right now. Not only was this Chosen One a dead ringer for Lyanna, but the rest of us were in the painting too. Even Grimaldi and Sol, who were not originally with us when we entered Sanctuary.

This boggled our minds. Was our coming truly predestined? Was it a coincidence? I think it’s some form of time travel shenanigans. Whatever it is, I can’t let a story like this go, so I was down for whatever. Apparently, Ashava would be protecting us, as our deadly wounds had been replaced with deep scars. Who knows how many times we’ll be rescued like this though.

After much deliberation, we asked about the status of Shao Khan. Sadly, Moldark had strung him up to be destroyed by the light of day and there was nothing left.

We determined that our next course of action was to journey to the burial site of Lyanna’s doppelganger. Hopefully, we would find some form of instructions as to what we should do next.

10/13

Ketyl’s POV

The groups reach the capitol city of Sanctuary, which seems to be encased in a deep fog. Sol shows up in a fog of darkness and notices two men put notes into Dan’s pocket. As Korbin’s group shows up, they find that the gate to the castle is closed off for the next 12 hours.

Korbin tries to get past the guards, but is told that orders came from above not to let anybody in until night-time.

As Dan reads the notes, Korbin points out that it is odd that the notes, supposedly from Lord Bannon, suggest different meeting places and that he already knows of the party’s success despite her being presumed dead and already disguised. They decide to split the party into three groups: Dan and I heading to the Bloodstained Raven; Korbin hiding Lyanna in the Church of Ashava; and Sol, Enna, and Ethel heading to the Gutted Stag.

Lord Priebus meets up with Dan and I and promised us land and titles if we get Lyanna to give her endorsement to Moldark as the new monarch. We met in an extremely nice building where he served me perfectly seasoned skirt steak and a well-paired red wine. He’d clearly done some research on us for a while considering that he knew all of our preferences. Clearly, he had a very well-informed spy network. His specific reasons for overthrowing Shao Khan were the standard political tripe: he was angry that his legion of werewolf minions were not allowed to feed on people more than 1-3 times a year. He knew Moldark would easily allow a dozen feedings on innocent people per year. We told him that we’d give his offer some thought and left.

We met up with the other group up at the cathedral. The other group apparently had a similar encounter with Lord Bannon, though he favored no regulations at all. Lyanna showed disgust for both nobles and suggests that we sneak into the castle via the sewers to warn Shao Khan before any attempts were made to overthrow the king.

We come across a vampire and kill it after learning it is loyal to Moldark. Really enjoying having Korbin keep that foul thing away from me. I’m definitely not into dying. Probably should have considered investing in garlic before heading into a vampire-infested castle, though.

5/31/2017
Ingame: 10/06-10/13

The yellow mottled man and six assailants attack a soldier who came to investigate the assault.
Korbin, the minotaur, grabs the princess (who is covered by a sodden cloak and runs down the burning stairs.

Dan Mysterio slips down the rope and hurts himself. We find out that the six assailants are actually the kitchen staff who warned us of the attack last night. A rat-like humanoid attacks one of the kitchen staff. Korbin jumps out another window with the princess, a blast of fire following of him from the backdraft.

After the vampire and the mottled skin human are killed, the kitchen staff run off, assuming that Princess Lyanna is dead.

Korbin and Dan travel to the town of Scarecrow along with Lyanna. Separately, the rest of the group travels to Scarecrow, assuming that the other group managed to keep Lyanna safe. They find out that the town is famous for corn and corn-related deaths. They rest and relax until early afternoon before heading out once more. A few days later, they make it to the outskirts of the capital.

They separate into the same groups: Korbin leading the way and Cheera leading the other group. Ketyl notices that his group is being followed by something keeping to the trees. Korbin and Dan meet up with some vampire guards who promise to escort them to the capital.

As they reach the capital, they rest for the night.

5/18/17
In-game: 10/06/17

The group had traveled for several days and stopped in a small village to rest for the night. As they relaxed, Korbin was passed a note by the kitchen staff to be careful as somebody was targetting the princess. At this point, the group had disguised the princess as an elderly man, so the fact that anyone knew they were travelling with the princess was distressing.

During the night, the group was attacked by the half-ogre bouncers while some man with yellow, mottled skin was yelling from the ground below the window to toss down the princess. Not trusting this suspicious man, the group fought on as they slowly lost their strength. Both sides would have defeated members, but Cheera suffered the worst of it. The others were merely unconscious or near death, but Cheera had taken a fatal axe wound to the neck. Ethel mourned over her dead charge and the mood was rather grim. Even Lyanna’s healing magic had run dry, much to their chagrin.

But Cheera’s fate was not to die this day. A comforting moonlight shone from her wound and stitched itself together. While she would be heavily scarred, Ashava had blessed Cheera to fight once more as one of her Chosen. The voice that had spoken to them before then warned Cheera not to take this blessing lightly, as it would not save her forever. Exhausted and drained of resources, the group took a short rest before planning to head out again.

5/11/2017
In game: 10/01

Picture a forest somewhere in the northern Levithian Empire. Trudging through it is a group of adventurers: Dan Mysterio, the arrogant elven stage magician; Grimaldi, a demented clown; Ketyl, an annoying but gifted singer of half-elven origin; Cheera, the Half-Orc fighter who’s perhaps too innocent for the journey to come; Ethel, her crabby, but loving halfling guardian; and a robotic monk. Scouting ahead are the elven rogue, Enna, and the beefcake minotaur soldier, Korbin Texas.

A motley group at best, but they’re the subject of this story. Working as an entertainment/mercenary company, they had been working together for a little while. They had come together not long after the news had reached the north of the Saviors of the Wastes and their deeds.

This group, however, had a long way to go before they could be so renowned. Their latest mission from Lord Bannon: to retrieve the distant heir of Shao Khan, King of the Levithian Empire, and bring her to the king’s hearing. Shao Khan was reportedly disinheriting his son, Moldark, after his failures and disgrace in the Wastes, and was looking for a new heir. While this heir, Princess Lyanna, was very far down the line of succession, she was obligated to come.

So the group set forth, coming to a town with a small inn with a strange rule. No silver weapons were allowed of any kind in the inn and any weapons had to be stored in a special box. Meanwhile, the group met with a jade-cloaked band of mercenaries who were heading up the same mountain on a secret mission. Fearing that their missions would collide, several of our heroes came up with different plans to slow them down.

Meanwhile, some of our heroes had designs of their own, attempting and succeeding in stealing some of the silver weaponry for their own while the innkeepers were busy with lovemaking.

As all the confusion came together, a brawl broke out between our heroes, the jade group, and the innkeepers (who were apparently werebears, the reason for the silver ban). Bewildered by all this, the robotic monk set the place aflame, assuming that our heroes were planning on escalating the conflict further.

Managing to escape the battle and leaving the jade group to deal with the werebears, our group hustled up the mountain to meet Princess Lyanna, a cleric of Ashava in her own right. As the group explained the situation, she refuses to leave until she finishes her ceremony. Apparently that night was a hunter’s moon, a powerful omen from Ashava. Suddenly, our heroes were confronted by the jade warriors who were there to kill Lyanna. Through a pitched battle, our heroes emerged victorious. Lyanna urged the heroes into the ritual chamber and to enter the water.

As a strange moonlight came over them, the group was overcome with visions of a white, rocky landscape overlooking a blue orb in a vast darkness speckled with points of the smallest light. A gruff voice addressed them, telling them that Ashava had chosen the group for a special mission. What that mission was was not made clear to them. The voice chuckled that his friends bumbled like our heroes did at one point. As our heroes woke up, Lyanna agreed to go with them.

With that, they set out back towards the capital. But it was clear that someone was trying to stop Princess Lyanna from returning to the capital, presumably to keep her from inheriting the throne. The group would have to be cautious.

Wednesday Group 02/22/2017
In game date: 1/22-1/26

Shao Khan shows up to Silotown and proclaims the Wastes as part of the Levithian Empire with Gullycloak as the Warlord of the South. Orin is named as the Seer Supreme, in charge of protecting the empire from extraplanar threats. Various factions petition Gullycloak for help in quelling the threats to “their” territory.

Kipp and Meera go to Zorbon’s territory to retrieve Dak Brannigan’s airship to convert into a mobile Chez Kipp.

Varia becomes a casino baron in Gobvegas.

Roren stays in Silotown to manage his sex dungeon. Orin wanders the waste on various tasks for Gullycloak while doing research on the entities from the Dark Tapestry where the Blue King came from.

Gullycloak puts Iona in charge of diplomatic relations with Tarathel, the former land of the angels now taken over by devils. Iona meets with “King” David and declares war on Tarathel.

Gullycloak sends brigades of vampires to the Thunderclutch to spy and Tarathel to help Iona to take over. He also brings Luca back from the dead to help the dwarves fight off the red dragons. He sends more brigades of vampires and jetpacks from Orlaaz to help Boss Coal. Orlaaz rebuilds the Lightning transit system and Qohan is arrested for his war crimes.

Hatter joins Lord Baxter as his champion up in the clouds to live in luxury and to spread hats.

Lyra goes with Attenberg, the scholar, to either fix the Life Engine to only affect vegetation or to turn it off.

The Guardians of Lore are sent off with a brigade of vampires to track down Morael loyalists as well as Morael’s phylactery.

Gullycloak and Grimsbone murder a cleric of Ing and declares war on the Church of Ing. He also builds his own Ring Road system to facilitate travel around the Wastes.

Krotaro is with the Iron Monks. Dakota is still hunting down barbarians, and Orlaaz builds more inventions.

Gullycloak sends 5 battalions to the Inner Sea Kingdom to siege the capital to let them know we are not to be trifled with.

As far as everyone knows, Kreg disappeared after the battle. A few days later, Mowgli disappeared as well, with nobody knowing where he went. But his friends hope to see Kreg again one day.

Wednesday Group 02/15/2017
In game date: 1/22

Silver Owl confesses a great secret: The Elder double-crossed them, to nobody’s surprise. He planned to have Silver Owl rig the machine to prevent them from teleporting away. If she survives without doing this, the Saviors will still have to protect her from the Elder.

Garth begins reading the Blue Pages. As the Blue Priestess shows up with her army, Gullycloak teleports down and ShadowWalks one of her more powerful subordinates away. Orin blows up the Deep Ones with fire. As Kreg begins an awesome divebomb attack, he suddenly begins to panic.

The Blue Priestess burns the Saviors with unholy flame, knocking Silver Owl and Meera unconscious. Dale, Iona, and Grimsbone gang up to punch on the Blue Priestess. Winston takes down one of the halfling twins with his bow. Kreg recovers from his panic with some soothing words from Meera. Kreg explodes one of the twins, leaving behind pants full of shit. With the power of her holy conviction, Iona cuts down the Blue Priestess, plunging it into her heart. As Garth finishes the last page, the sky rumbles. Impossibly large blue tentacles crack through the skies as the Blue King returns. His tentacles smash at the party, grasping Dale.

Wade, the former Guardian of Lore, fires some arrows to save Dale. The group manages to teleport away, leaving the insane Garth behind, but saving Silver Owl. Off in the distance, they see ocean disasters, warped creatures turning back to normal. They see a bright light hundreds of miles away and a humongous mushroom cloud settles in the distance. As the dust settles, and the Deep Ones revert to human form. A sigh of relief comes over the crowd in Silotown, finally everything is over.

Kreg and Silver Owl show up in the Temple of the Iron Monks. Kreg retrieves the box from his arm and frees the former abominations into the light.

Ziggy congratulates them and assures them that the bards of the wastes will speak of this forever. With that, he disappears in a puff of glittering smoke.

Kreg takes Silver Owl by the hand and invites her to eat at a local tofu hot dog stand. She lovingly accepts as they walk off.

Wednesday Group 02/08/2017
In game date: 1/22

As the Skum and Aboleths show up on the beach, Kipp and Orin burn them with fire. A shoggoth shows up as an illusion, but the group sees through it easily. Sanara fires some arrows at an aboleth, and Gullycloak plunges some of the Skum into polar midnight. Sanara disappears and stabs aboleths in the taint. Lightning bolts and illusions abound.

Eventually, the group managed to wipe out the Aboleths and Skum. With just one wave left, the group prepares for the final assault. The Blue Priestess is coming and it’s almost time to release the Blue King.

Wednesday Group 02/01/2017
In game date: 1/22

The group is slowly becoming irritated and grumpy from the stress of the many waves of the Blue King. Suddenly, they see a small little octopus waving a white flag. Suspicious, but curious, Kreg goes to retrieve the octopus. Writing words in the sand, Kreg learns that the octopus is, in fact, Garth, his former comrade.

Garth explains, that he was captured by the Blue Priestess after his teleportation spell went awry. Forced to work for the Blue King or suffer insanity or death, he decided to work as a double agent. He managed to find some cultists that were resisting the Blue King’s influence and so, he tried to help them recover and raise them up as an army to help the Saviors. Unfortunately, the Blue Priestess learned of this and stripped him of his power and polymorphed him into an octopus. Further, she had cobbled the hundreds of people he tried to help into four abominations.

Garth thus comes to the Saviors with a plea and an offer. He asks that they trap the abominations non-lethally and transport them away from the battle. In exchange, Garth will read the pages, knowing that they will damage his mind permanently. He gives them a wand of Greater Teleport in order to retrieve Orin and to get the abominations to a safe distance from Cuthbert’s Hammer. He believes that once the Blue King is dead, the effect on the abominations will dissipate.

The group then forms a plan to use illusions and mind control to get the abominations into a magic box, which Garth also provides. The plan goes surprisingly smoothly, and Kreg uses a potion that allows him to store the cube inside his own body. Garth, in the meantime, helps Silver Owl with the positioning of the controls for Cuthbert’s Hammer.

The mist begins to swirl once more as the 9th wave approaches.

Wednesday Group 01/18/2017
In game date: 1/22

Ziggy warns them of constructs from the abyss that are coming.

Crazy Metal Spiders (CMS) show up, shooting rays out of their eyes. Sanura fires some shockstones; Grimsbone, Iona, and Dale get up close and personal; Kipp and Meera summon creatures and Ziggy summons a doppelganger that wags his penis around. The spiders rush into the blade barrier and find themselves struggling under a reversal of gravity. A bunch are blended and eaten by puddings. Orin’s body slumps over as his spirit takes over one of the creatures in time to expose its weak point to Iona’s axe.

Kipp pushes Orin’s body off the tower, assuming him dead. Kreg, in an amazing act of athleticism, manages to catch Orin’s body before he splats into the ground. Kreg hides Orin’s body under a pile of corpses. After the battle is over, Gullycloak takes Orin’s body back to his church via teleportation, presuming him dead.

Once he returns, Kreg and Orin (through possessing other people’s bodies) attempt to convince Gullycloak that Orin is still around, but he used a spell to leave his body and possess other people. Gullycloak is skeptical, but takes the stone and leaves it with Orin’s body. Orin eventually shifts back into his body, but Gullycloak has already returned to the battle.

Stranded, Orin has to find a way back to the battle. Meanwhile, the group patches themselves up for the 8th wave.

Wednesday Group 01/11/2017
In game date: 1/22

Gullycloak returns with Dale in tow as well as some strange devices that he sets up at the corners of the tavern. They seem to be able to be used as traps.

Void dragons show up and blast the party with cold blasts of air. Gullycloak entangles them with some horrifying dark lightning bolts, while Orin burns the dragons with sheets of fire. Iona charges one of the dragons. Kipp blasts some fireballs and Sanura fires off some arrows while Meera cackles.

As the group systematically takes down the twisted creatures, they begin to breathe easier. And yet, a twinge of uncertainty goes through their minds. Where is the Blue Priestess in all of these waves?

Wednesday Group 01/04/2017
In game date: 1/22

Off in the distance, they hear The booming voice of Morael. He rallies his troops to take down the Saviors. They hear talking between the troops about the party’s weaknesses. The Guardians of Lore have shown up! But one of them immediately falls asleep and another one begins vomiting in his helmet. A small dot appears near the troops’ heads and explodes in a blast of fire. A giant robot appears from the mist and begins firing its gatling guns, hitting Meera and Silver Owl.

Grimsbone, blessed by Ashava’s grace, swings a mighty blow at the robot’s legs. A summoned tyrannosaurus finishes the job on the suit. Another suit pops out and is promptly destroyed. A fireball roasts some newcomers to the party. The t-rex picks up the suit with Morael in it and shakes it wildly. Morael bursts out as a metal-covered skeleton and laughs at his former servants. He teleports away as the Guardians of Lore slump their shoulders. Gullycloak attempts to follow him and shows up in a facility filled with hundreds of Guardians of Lore.

Back at the tower, Orin manages to convince one Guardian to join their side after some intimidation and diplomacy. The Guardian teaches Kreg how to take apart the other Guardian’s armor.

Sensing that their group was running low on resources, they light the magical incense and begin to prepare for the next wave.

Wednesday Group 12/21/2016
In game date: 1/22

As they prepare for the next wave, they see snow falling from the sky. They hear a haunting melody and many snowmen appear from the mist. They are pelted by snowballs, including Silver Owl. Kreg pulls aside her robes and jabs her butt with several healing syringes.

Iona slices off a huge snowman’s head and takes his Santa hat. Kreg uses his whip to grapple onto a huge snowman’s nose and then rips it off. The larger snowmen reach the top, but are killed by negative energy elementals and bolts of electricity released from Orin.

As the rest of the snowmen die, a whole new wave of snowmen appears. But hark, off in the distance! Sleigh bells! Santa has come to town! He clears the snowmen away and congratulates the party on all their good deeds.

Wednesday Group 12/14/2016
In game date: 1/22

As the next wave bashes against the shore, several giants appear on the shore with boulders. Gullycloak mind controls one of them into building a great wall with the boulders. Kipp summons a pudding and Orin petrifies two of the giants. As the giants stab the puddings, they get mobbed by more puddings as they split into multiple creatures.

The petrified giants recover, but are dispatched shortly thereafter. Iona takes out a few in the name of Heironeus. Grimsbone manages to peg a few with rocks from atop the tower. Meera’s cackling inspires the group to try harder in the face of adversity, surprisingly harmonizing with the strains of Ziggy’s lute.

As all but the two giants geassed into building the wall are dispatched with, the group decides to let them finish their wall before getting rid of them in the next wave.

The waves are getting closer and closer to the tower with each wave. Perhaps the group needs to create barriers to prevent them from getting too close?

(So, I skipped the first wave because I lost the notes. Spoilers: it was a lot like this one, but with Elder Deep Ones instead of the creature described here.)

Wednesday Group 12/07/2016
In game date: 1/22

As they see the creatures appear through the mist, Meera screeches, unleashing a cloud of death upon the creatures. Kreg starts divebombing the creatures. Iona and Kipp attack the last group when a giant worm-like creature flies at the party. Some of them recognize it as a neothelid that attacked them before Garth sacrificed himself (though he seems to have joined the Blue King since then.) Kreg and Iona leap through the air and attack the neothelid. Orin and Meera summon an octopus and tyrannosaurus, which also attack the neothelid. Meanwhile, Kipp retreats into an extradimensional space for some reason, occasionally popping in and out to fire off a spell. Eventually, the neothelid falls.

Meanwhile, one last group of boggards manages to scale the wall of the tower and reach Silver Owl. Orin hurriedly covers the area in glitterdust, accidentally blinding Silver Owl and Meera along with the enemies. The Saviors manage to take out the last few before Silver Owl is hurt.

So close to destruction, and it’s only the second wave. Can the group survive another eight waves of the Blue King’s forces?

Wednesday Group 11/23/2016
In game date: 1/22

As they head down south in the hot air balloon, they see countless aquatic creatures walking on the land. Ziggy gives them a bedtime story. After everyone is asleep, Orin asks Ziggy of his knowledge of the space between the stars. He replies that the Blue King is one of many creatures that draw their power from that place. Further, the Blue King is a pissant compared to the other denizens of the Dark Tapestry.

In the morning, Kipp prepares a fabulous feast, though of what, nobody can say. Suddenly, some winds blow the balloon out of control. Kipp, Sanara, and Orin manage to jump out and land on some solid ground. As the fog clears, they see an alien-looking tower. They see a whale corpse surrounded by small Deep Ones, and Kipp annihilates them with a fireball.

Suddenly, they are attacked by cultists in the tower. Kipp obliterates a tower full of cultists. A cleric targets them with fireballs from an open platform near the top of the tower, a Hezrou is summoned in front of Sanura . An archer suddenly screams in horror and jumps off the tower to his death and splats headfirst into the ground. The cleric does her best to take out the group, but Orin and Sanura team up to knock her out. Kipp mops up the rest, including the summoner with a few well-placed fireballs.

As they begin to prepare for the battle to come, a dull thundering begins to echo from the mist at the shore of the island. The apocalypse is fast approaching. The Saviors have but one choice: cancel the apocalypse.

Wednesday Group 11/16/2016
In game date: 1/20-1/22

As the group starts their planning, they ask for Orlaaz to create a hot air balloon to avoid the Krakens in the sea. He replies that he’ll have it ready in the morning. Anticipating their final battle, the group dines at Chez Kipp and reminisces about their journey. In the morning, they are contacted by Ziggy, who asks for their help in defeating the Protean ravaging his city. They decide that the collecting of all of the Blue King’s minions in one place is actually the best thing, so that Cuthbert’s Hammer can wipe them all out in one shot. They ask for Ziggy’s help in the upcoming battle against the Blue King in exchange for their services.

They show up and see that the city is being torn apart by the Protean. Strange lights and the earth is floating around in strange geometry.

As they release their spells and blades, the Protean falls to its death. The town erupts in celebration as the townsfolk’s warped bodies begin to return to their former state. The most beautiful singing, dancing, and instrumentation abound to the awe of the Silotown Saviors. While they had seen many things, never had they seen such a collection of bards before today.

Amidst the jubilation, the enigmatic bard, Ziggy, appears before them and thanks them once again for saving his city. Making good on his promise, Ziggy joins them on the hot air balloon. Further, he rewards the group with various magical items that he has in his bag. Ziggy plays them a song to relieve them of their stress and give them a chance to rest for the battle ahead.

As they take off for the south, the weight of the world is on their shoulders.

Wednesday 10/26/2016
In-game date 1/20

As soon as Kreg’s injection takes effect, Qohan begins to convulse and scream in horror, “It’s a sin! It’s a sin!” Kreg tells Orin to go finish the battle, and that he has things taken care of with the once-intimidating Blue Dragon.

The group quickly mops up the rest of the Blue Priestess’ minions and manages to get her on the ropes. Gullycloak points out to her that they both want to revive the Blue King, albeit for vastly different reasons.

She laughs, claiming that our plan will never work, and teleports away from the battle. With no time to spare, a group of cloud giants comes down and tries to make a business deal for the woman we recognize as the Silver Owl. Gullycloak, still hyped on adrenaline, decides to kill the giants for trying to profit off slavery. Not that the rest of the group really disagreed with him.

The group talks with the Silver Owl after a quick skirmish and she reveals that Cuthbert’s Hammer will take a while to charge, due to the fact that this Engine is comprised of two parts: one on the surface and the other in orbit that must be perfectly aligned in order to fire. During that time, we’ll have to deal with all of the Blue King’s forces trying to kill Silver Owl. The group tries to see if they can just wait to activate the pages right before they fire the engine, but Silver Owl claims it could be difficult.

Further, she mentions that it will be difficult to get a vast navy to the island where Cuthbert’s Hammer lies due to the Blue King’s forces sinking most ships that cross any sea right now. The group discusses binding some air elementals to a ship to carry her and the Silotown Saviors to the island.

With this plan in mind, they try to trick Ocular Guardority into believing that an entity known as Supreme Ocular Guardority is trying to usurp his place as guardian of the pages. Unwilling to let the Silotown Saviors protect it without insurance, he dominates Luca to lay down his life for the pages. The Saviors quickly dispel the domination and swap the pages with some fake ones. O.G. comes back and the Saviors come up with a quick (and badly acted) bluff that Supreme Ocular Guardority got the pages and ran off with them to the island to the south. Enraged, O.G. disintegrates Luca for his failure and commands them to go retrieve the pages.

As they saw their friend collapse into a pile of dust, the Saviors knew this was the last straw. Ocular Guardority’s arrogance, disrespect, and insanity had always been begrudgingly tolerated as long as he protected the pages. But now he was no longer necessary, and further, he had killed one of the Saviors. Gullycloak, Orin, and Iona put down the monster with extreme prejudice.

With all of this in mind, the group decides to rest before beginning preparations for the end of their journey: Cuthbert’s Hammer.

Wednesday Group 10/18/16
In game date: 1/20

Gullycloak goes to meet Ichabod and requests items to get around the blacklist on Silotown.

Meera goes to O.G. to ensure he has plans if the Silotown Saviors get killed.

Sanara has rejoined the group after a brief absence, upset at the group for not helping her people, but understanding that a bigger problem takes priority.

On Gullycloak’s suggestion, the group decides to drillcar underneath the enemies’ meeting and blow the hell out of them. They stuff the car full of poison, alchemical explosives, highly concentrated whiskey, and other shrapnel, and set off the bomb from a safe distance.

The bomb goes off, taking out most of the armies except for two Elder Deep Ones, Zorbon, a few demons, the Blue Priestess, and Qohan himself. Gullycloak manages to briefly distract the Priestess by compelling her to rebuild the walls of Silotown, taking her out of the battle momentarily as she disappears.

As they come upon the area in the Cyclowhip, they are stopped hard by the punch of a Hezrou, a hulking reptilian demon. The Cyclowhip is heavily damaged, if not irreparably destroyed. Kreg releases the catapult, launching Iona like a bolt of lightning from Hieroneus’ own hand. She destroys Zorbon with one mighty swing of her longsword, cleaving him in twain as she humbly proclaims the might of her god.

Seeing this, Zorbon’s minions and summoned likeness surround her to avenge their fallen master. The Elder Deep Ones aren’t far behind. Sanara leaps to her aid, taking a few shots at the Vrocks surrounding Iona, piercing their screeching necks.

Kreg leaps on the Hezrou’s face and injects him with bombs as Grimsbone pummels the demon to death.

Orin, after a failed attempt to petrify the enemies and pelting Qohan with magic ice strikes, uses his magic to stop the demons, Qohan, and one of the Elder Deep Ones from taking any hostile actions against the party. Neutered, the Vrocks and the Elder Deep One retreat.

At this moment, the Blue Priestess returns and proclaims that her task has been completed and that the Saviors will no longer get in the way of the Blue King’s return. If she only knew the Savior’s plan. Gullycloak and Grimsbone step over the Hezrou’s burning corpse and approach her.

Seeing his options running out, Qohan’s smug facade breaks. Even having seen his eventual death in the Eldritch Machine of time, he shrieks, “Fuck the future,” and attempts to escape by burrowing through the ground. Kreg and Orin use their own resources to catch up to the cowardly Qohan. Kreg injects him with the same hallucinogen that Dale experienced in the jungle. Qohan’s pupils go wide and his mind is plunged into chaos.

Up above, Iona and Sanara are still toe-to-to with an Elder Deep One, while Gullycloak and Grimsbone confront the Blue Priestess.

While the enemies’ forces have been greatly reduced, a cornered beast is even more dangerous. The Silotown Saviors will have to be very careful when dealing with their most dangerous foe yet.

Wednesday Group 10/12/16
In game date: 1/15-1/20

We killed a bunch of people from Zorbon’s, Qohan’s, and the Blue Priestess’ armies.

Wednesday Group 9/26/16
In game date: 1/14-1/15

A cleric of Ing tries to take Kreg, claiming that his murder of a drug lord means that he must give up his own life in exchange. The group doesn’t take too kindly to that and combat begins. After a minor scuffle, the cleric agrees to talk to them in the morning.

Orin, Gullycloak, and Meera meet with the Northern soldiers and discuss where to house the vampires.

Meanwhile, Kreg follows the merchant cleric to Chez Kipp. He overhears the conversations they have and eventually goes to talk to Kipp. He follows the merchant cleric and manages to work out a deal to fix things up.

Orin, Gullycloak, and Meera go to protect some people that are coming from Gilded Dawn territory. They are pursued by vrocks sent by Zorbon, but Orin commands them to leave. They flee, promising to return.

In the middle of the night, an Elder Deep One appears. As they dispatch it and send it again to Qohan’s place, they learn that they have been hatching out of people, chest-burster style.

The Elder shows up and mentions that the historian capable of operating the Hammer of Cuthbert is coming. He tells them that the historian is an old relative of Morael and will show up on her own. She has the sign of a silver owl. If we ever see an omen of a silver owl, we are to go and rescue her.

In the morning, Gullycloak talks to Kreg and informs him that he’ll have to undergo a trial by combat to clear himself of this crime.

As the Saviors speak with Fenrir, the representative of Ing in Silotown, they agree that a champion from Ing will be summoned and Kreg should be able to clear his name at noon.

But with cultists on the horizon, Zorbon on their doorstep, and dragons not far behind, this trial is the least of their worries!

Wednesday Group 9/21/16
In game date: 1/13-1/14

Surprisingly for the party, the group spares Qohan, threatening death and genocide to his whole family should he ever meet them again. They return to the car and drive until midnight, where they go through the portal. They return to Silotown and sleep.

Gullycloak teleports back to the treasure room and finds Qohan rallying all the blue and red dragons to attack Silotown. He convinces them to attack from slightly northwest of Silotown on 1/20, one week from today.

Gullycloak then teleports to King Coal and convinces him to bring an army to Silotown to protect against the dragon alliance.

A paladin, Iona, comes to the town, asking for the Silotown Saviors. She is brought into the town and told the rules. In the morning, she is introduced to the group.

A strange, scarred man claims to be from Zorbon and demands Chef Kipp and 100 creatures to eat in exchange for Zorbon’s mercy. The other Silotown heroes decide to take care of this job.

They also hear news from the north of cultists pursuing the caravans of Shao Khan. The group addresses the rest of the petitioners to help out with the battle in exchange for favorable consideration. Those petitioners decide not to join the battle.

The group comes upon the wagons being pursued by a bunch of crab-like creatures, and a horrifying abberation.

The group manages to fight off the creatures and rescue Shao Khan’s men. The drivers mention that the vampires were unable to join the battle considering the daylight.

Gullycloak charms the Elder Deep One and shadow-walks the creature into the middle of Qohan’s forces, before bamfing out of there.

But another large group of crab creatures, including another Elder Deep One, are hot on their heels! With the binding, they now have everything they need to summon the Blue King near the Eldritch Machine.
And with Qohan’s forces only a week away, what preparations will they make for the battles to come?

Wednesday Group 8/31/16
In game date: 1/13

Fenrir is told by Mayor Hal about Kreg’s killing of a local merchant/druglord. He tells Fenrir that they need this problem to go away with money.

Gullycloak and Kreg manage to find a vantage point that hides them from the sky. They ultimately decide to kill Alekstrasa, without Qohan’s help as they do not trust her. They meet up with this horrific-looking dwarf who looks like he’s seen some rough days, named Stonecancer McVeigh. As the sky suddenly darkens, they see what looks like a truly monumental red dragon passing over and landing on the sand, suddenly disappearing below. Giving her enough time to bed down, the team makes pursuit.

As Fenrir uses his clairvoyant powers to see into the room, they teleport in to meet Qohan. They make an uneasy deal for the future as to whether they trust each other enough to not mess in the other’s affairs after they kill their mutual enemy. They head down the hall, apprehensive of the colossal dragon they saw earlier. They then unleash hell upon Alekstrasa, while Fenrir pops into the chest chained on her neck and wraps the book binding in his angelhide tent. Qohan’s lightning, Grimsbone and Stonecancer McVeigh’s pummeling, Kreg’s bomb injections, Gullycloak’s support, and Orin’s Anklyosaurus summon all did major damage, but Alekstrasa still breathed and seemed like she was about to wake up. But Meera waved her arms, a water elemental springing into existence and rushing up Alekstrasa’s nose to her unprotected brain, where it made of a slurry of what was once one of the greatest minds in existence.

Alekstrasa, bloodied and battered, slumps down for the final time, as she draws her last breath and collapses. The group breathes a sigh of relief as the powerful dragon died before waking up, as they would have been surely doomed had she woken in time to protect herself. They turn to Qohan, appraising the creature who has worked with and against them so much in the past two months.

Will the Silotown Saviors release Qohan and go on their merry way? Or will they betray Qohan before he betrays them?

Wednesday Group 8/24/16
In game date: 1/12-1/13

As the dragons set down on the illusion, the group attacks the dragons. After the dragons are all slaughtered, the group gathers up the corpses and take the boat back to Silotown. When they get back, they parade the corpses through town. Gullycloak talks to Orlaaz about ranged weapons for the Fire Guild. Kreg starts looking around the town to find out what’s going on in his constituency.

Gullycloak sets up the train beacon that Qohan left at Santa’s workshop. At midnight, they meet up with Meera in the desert (who tailed Qohan partway back to his lair.) Gullycloak travels through the Shadow Plane and manages to find the perfect vantage point for Qohan’s base.

Once the rest of the group catches up, they find a place where they can rest without being easily spotted and plan their reconnaissance.

Wednesday Group 8/17/16
In game date: 1/11-1/12

The group heads back to Silotown to meet up with the dwarves. They say they’ll head against the current, but Orlaaz created a motor to fix that problem. As they head out at night of 1/11, Meera gives the treasurepig some form of intelligence. As Hatter gives it a hat, another pig bites it on the neck and Gullycloak kills the new pig.

As they approach the coliseum, they hear creepy chanting that stops as Hatter rushes haphazardly towards it. As the group follows afterwards, a scorpion appears and attacks the Hatter. The Blue Sign shows up in the sky and infects everyone but Orin and Gullycloak. Orin catches the cultists in Black Tentacles, Slugtusk squirts some vaginal juice into the Scorpion and Kreg injects it with explosives. Hatter throws hats on three cultists and they gain new limbs and extra torsos. After they die, they set up watch.

During the night, Kreg sees a woman covered in Blue Signs. He explodes her head with his syringes. They find out during the night that one of the dwarves was a traitor and that the red dragons were coming at noon.

Qohan shows up and does a big info dump and tells them that Alekstrasa will be in his lair and will be asleep for 12 hours. The group argues over whether to trust Qohan (again), but decides to judge his worthiness as an ally by fighting alongside him in the fight with the red dragons in a few hours.

Wednesday Group 8/10/16
In game date: 1/11

Orlaaz gathers up the Hatter, Meera, and Slugtusk and takes them out to meet Kreg, Gullycloak, and Orin. As they meet up, Kreg starts to open the chest and finds a wealth of items, gold, and an orb reminiscent of the ones that could power the Engines.

The group spots a Salamander being sneaky in the sand. He sets off a flare and starts retreating. The flare seems to have become a heat vacuum and something is falling from the sky. The rest of the group gathers around the Cyclowhip as Orin chases down the Salamander, demanding to know what’s going on. The object crashes into the earth, spraying magma all around it. A bunch of creatures, including fiery dogs and a large giant come out of the object. The Saviors come up to the Fire Giant. The group goes back and forth with trying to get around the fact that Kreg secretly stole the orb from the chest before returning the chest to the Doomwake Cinders.

Eventually sensing that Kreg was hiding something, and provoked by Gullycloak’s arrogant claims of superiority, the Fire Giant began his attack with his Salamanders. Orin ambushed the Salamanders from invisibility, expecting this to happen. Kreg jumps onto the Fire Giant’s head and injects him with his trusty bomb syringe. Before the battle can get really heated, though, Gullycloak proclaims that the Cinders are nothing and banishes the Salamanders with a mighty burst of holy power from Ashava.

Faced with his entire gang either banished or paralyzed from the sheer weight of Gullycloak’s words, the Fire Giant submitted to the Silotown Saviors. The Hatter throws a hat on the Fire Giant and arcane symbols appear on his eyes and shooting strange beams out of his eyes, presumably to humiliate him further. Gullycloak demands that the Fire Giant give them everything in the chest and further, for him and the remainder of the Doomwake Cinders to swear fealty to the Silotown Saviors or suffer dire consequences. Humiliated and defeated in a matter of seconds, the Fire Giant retreats back across the wastes, admitting his newfound loyalty to the party.

As they divided up the loot, the group decided to head onwards to the lair of Alekstrasa, the red dragon, to retrieve the binding of the Blue Pages.

Wednesday Group 8/3/16
In game date: 1/11

As they heal Ocular Guardority of his madness, they tell him that they are heading to fight the red dragon. A Catfolk bumps into Kreg and hands him a note, urging him to come to Chez Kipp. When they get there, they are led downstairs, where they see a crazy torture scheme to make different forms of food out of intelligent creatures. After the misunderstanding is cleared up, they are brought up to meet the catfolk and Sanara. She asks them to meet up and destroy the Doomwake Cinders pursuing her people.

The Elder tells them of an eldritch machine called Cuthbert’s Hammer that can kill the Blue King when he is summoned. But when it is used, everything there is dead, including magic itself. The island where it’s at, is so far south, that we’ve never been there before.

They start heading to the east, in order to try to mediate the situation with the Doomwake Cinders. Suddenly, the Cyclowhip breaks down and 3 triceratops appear out of nowhere and bullrush the vehicle. Gullycloak notices a scuffling near a rock and dispels the triceratops. Orin suddenly spots Garth and glitterdusts him to show his outline to everyone else. Garth summons some more triceratops and demands that they hand over the pages. As they beat the fudge out of him, he teleports away and leaves the triceratops behind.

After they defeat the triceratops, they go to meet Sanara’s tribe. Once they get there, they are greeted by many Catfolk of all ages in a cave. They ask if the Silotown Saviors will protect them from the Fire Guild and the Doomwake Cinders in exchange for an artifact they stole.

Gullycloak points out that Silotown has laws and the Catfolk will no longer be allowed to steal, also that protecting them would be in direct violation of their agreement with the Fire Guild. The group demands to see the artifact before promising anything, which the Catfolk disagree with (believing the Saviors will just murder them and take it). When asked why they got themselves into such trouble in the first place, the Catfolk reply that things that are so easy to steal deserve to be stolen. After Gullycloak threatens to murder them and take it anyway, the Catfolk reluctantly show them the box. Orin describes the aura as being similar to the orbs used for the Engines.

Gullycloak, Kreg, and Orin decide that the Catfolk still cannot come to Silotown as they are unrepentant thieves and liars. They will be allowed to go to another city unharmed. However, the group decides to bribe the Fire Guild into leaving the Catfolk alone, as they already have an agreement. If the Doomwake Cinders do not also back down, the group decides to take them out for the safety of the wastes.

TL;DR Ocular Superiority is healed of madness, they learn how to truly defeat the Blue King instead of just sealing him away, they make a deal to protect Catfolk in exchange for artifact, Garth betrays and attacks the group (proclaiming that humans have destroyed the wastes and that the Blue King can start it over anew).

Wednesday Group 7/20/16
In game date: 1/10-1/11

As they show up in town, they learn all that has happened in the past week in Silotown. They find out that the Fire Guild is seeking bandits and requested help. Sanara’s family is coming. Gullycloak confronts Muldark and beats the shit out of him. Gullycloak commands the rest of the vampires to take Muldark’s coffin back up north to tell Shao Khan that Muldark is not worthy of standing beside him in his army.

In the morning, they go down to see Ocular Superiority in the mass of caverns. Gullycloak convinces him to change his name to Ocular Guardority. As they hand over the Blue Pages to OG, Sanara disagrees with trusting him and attempts to leave without handing over her page.

As OG attempts to stop her with force, the Silotown Saviors are forced into battle. Gullycloak momentarily blinds OG, while Orin turns hims into a mindless monster in an attempt to disable him. With OG reduced to a babbling monster incapable of telling ally from foe, the group leaves the monster and flees the underground chamber.

Wednesday Group 6/29/16
In game date: 1/10

As Varia, Bibwit, and Meera are in the marketplace, they hear explosions and are summoned to the throne room. As they gather up loot and the page from the vault, they remove the cursed laurel crown from Roman’s head and teleport back into the desert outside of Silotown.

They are confronted by some of Varia’s old enemies, supported by Zorbon. We fight them. Bibwit eats the intestine of one of the creatures and manages to throw off the effects. They come upon Silotown, and it has been greatly reinforced with metal walls.