Wasteland Campaign

A Hopeless Place


Ketyl’s POV

Cheera reappears while Sol and Enna disappear in a burst of moonlight. We caught her up to speed about what happened while she was gone.

Dan’s weird pet kept scuttling around, I guess Dan can see what he sees. We came across a barred passage that Korbin was too impatient to saw through. We came across an aberration of tentacles and bulbous flesh. Cheera struck a mighty blow, cleaving flesh from the creature in a wide arc as green bolts flew from Dan’s fingertips. Korbin charged the creature, knocking him directly into Cheera’s blade, cleaving it in twain.

Dan finds a way into the servant’s quarters by tying off a rope down the pipe. He further creates a distraction which allows access to hallway near the courtyard. We try to convince some guards to take us to Shao Khan, but I had to charm one of them. The other guy was not quite as agreeable, so we had to kill him.

As we reach the throne room, we see about 20 vampire spawn being nailed to crosses, including Shao Khan. On the throne is not Shao Khan, but Moldark. 12 vampires, dressed as nobles, including Lord Preibus and Lord Bannon, are overseeing the overthrowing. We are welcomed in, as they believe we’re still down for this.

Korbin charges, slitting his wrist, and slamming it into Shao Khan’s mouth while simultaneously pulling the stake out of Shao Khan’s chest. Dan, Cheera, Lyanna, Enna, and I bolted while Ethel attempted to stay behind and help Korbin. Frankly, I think Korbin is insane. Old rulers are overthrown all the time. We did our best, now we have to protect Lyanna. I can only hope that Ashava will protect them and Shao Khan.

We were pursued by bats, but Cheera tried to slow them down so we could escape. I don’t know what happened to the others, but I was surrounded by vampires and suddenly the world went dark.

I woke up on a strange, rocky landscape only to be informed that I had just died. Dying is a strange sensation, not much different from falling asleep. As I looked around, I saw that my companions were there, including Lyanna. Apparently, we had all died in our attempt to escape. Gullycloak, the apparently former High Priest of Ashava, told us we did very well. We pointed out that we had failed pretty miserably and he waved it aside. He claimed that he was looking out for us, and would be meeting us soon for the first time… but that he wouldn’t recognize us. Ethel and Enna seemed more upset than the rest of us, claiming that they didn’t even believe in Ashava and didn’t appreciate being roped into her game against their will. Unfortunately, the proof is in the pudding and that’s just how stories go when gods get involved.

Suddenly, we began to wake up on cold slabs, covered in funeral shrouds. A young pageboy in Ashavan robes began to speak to us, claiming that he was the new High Priest of Ashava. Apparently, Moldark had been busy, slaughtering every one in line to be High Priest until someone gave in and approved his ascension in the name of Ashava. This boy had managed to get our bodies and equipment back as part of the deal. Pretty impressive, if you ask me. He revealed a sealed tube containing an ancient painting. Apparently, there was a prophecy of Ashava’s Chosen One, a messiah who would save the church from the bring of destruction. Supposedly, she was due to return right now. Not only was this Chosen One a dead ringer for Lyanna, but the rest of us were in the painting too. Even Grimaldi and Sol, who were not originally with us when we entered Sanctuary.

This boggled our minds. Was our coming truly predestined? Was it a coincidence? I think it’s some form of time travel shenanigans. Whatever it is, I can’t let a story like this go, so I was down for whatever. Apparently, Ashava would be protecting us, as our deadly wounds had been replaced with deep scars. Who knows how many times we’ll be rescued like this though.

After much deliberation, we asked about the status of Shao Khan. Sadly, Moldark had strung him up to be destroyed by the light of day and there was nothing left.

We determined that our next course of action was to journey to the burial site of Lyanna’s doppelganger. Hopefully, we would find some form of instructions as to what we should do next.

Metaphors for our Distaste with our Current Political Climate


Ketyl’s POV

The groups reach the capitol city of Sanctuary, which seems to be encased in a deep fog. Sol shows up in a fog of darkness and notices two men put notes into Dan’s pocket. As Korbin’s group shows up, they find that the gate to the castle is closed off for the next 12 hours.

Korbin tries to get past the guards, but is told that orders came from above not to let anybody in until night-time.

As Dan reads the notes, Korbin points out that it is odd that the notes, supposedly from Lord Bannon, suggest different meeting places and that he already knows of the party’s success despite her being presumed dead and already disguised. They decide to split the party into three groups: Dan and I heading to the Bloodstained Raven; Korbin hiding Lyanna in the Church of Ashava; and Sol, Enna, and Ethel heading to the Gutted Stag.

Lord Priebus meets up with Dan and I and promised us land and titles if we get Lyanna to give her endorsement to Moldark as the new monarch. We met in an extremely nice building where he served me perfectly seasoned skirt steak and a well-paired red wine. He’d clearly done some research on us for a while considering that he knew all of our preferences. Clearly, he had a very well-informed spy network. His specific reasons for overthrowing Shao Khan were the standard political tripe: he was angry that his legion of werewolf minions were not allowed to feed on people more than 1-3 times a year. He knew Moldark would easily allow a dozen feedings on innocent people per year. We told him that we’d give his offer some thought and left.

We met up with the other group up at the cathedral. The other group apparently had a similar encounter with Lord Bannon, though he favored no regulations at all. Lyanna showed disgust for both nobles and suggests that we sneak into the castle via the sewers to warn Shao Khan before any attempts were made to overthrow the king.

We come across a vampire and kill it after learning it is loyal to Moldark. Really enjoying having Korbin keep that foul thing away from me. I’m definitely not into dying again. Probably should have considered investing in garlic before heading into a vampire-infested castle, though.

The Conspiracy Widespread

Ingame: 10/06-10/13

The yellow mottled man and six assailants attack a soldier who came to investigate the assault.
Korbin, the minotaur, grabs the princess (who is covered by a sodden cloak and runs down the burning stairs.

Dan Mysterio slips down the rope and hurts himself. We find out that the six assailants are actually the kitchen staff who warned us of the attack last night. A rat-like humanoid attacks one of the kitchen staff. Korbin jumps out another window with the princess, a blast of fire following of him from the backdraft.

After the vampire and the mottled skin human are killed, the kitchen staff run off, assuming that Princess Lyanna is dead.

Korbin and Dan travel to the town of Scarecrow along with Lyanna. Separately, the rest of the group travels to Scarecrow, assuming that the other group managed to keep Lyanna safe. They find out that the town is famous for corn and corn-related deaths. They rest and relax until early afternoon before heading out once more. A few days later, they make it to the outskirts of the capital.

They separate into the same groups: Korbin leading the way and Cheera leading the other group. Ketyl notices that his group is being followed by something keeping to the trees. Korbin and Dan meet up with some vampire guards who promise to escort them to the capital.

As they reach the capital, they rest for the night.

Battle of the Bed and Breakfast

In-game: 10/06/17

The group had traveled for several days and stopped in a small village to rest for the night. As they relaxed, Korbin was passed a note by the kitchen staff to be careful as somebody was targetting the princess. At this point, the group had disguised the princess as an elderly man, so the fact that anyone knew they were travelling with the princess was distressing.

During the night, the group was attacked by the half-ogre bouncers while some man with yellow, mottled skin was yelling from the ground below the window to toss down the princess. Not trusting this suspicious man, the group fought on as they slowly lost their strength. Both sides would have defeated members, but Cheera suffered the worst of it. The others were merely unconscious or near death, but Cheera had taken a fatal axe wound to the neck. Ethel mourned over her dead charge and the mood was rather grim. Even Lyanna’s healing magic had run dry, much to their chagrin.

But Cheera’s fate was not to die this day. A comforting moonlight shone from her wound and stitched itself together. While she would be heavily scarred, Ashava had blessed Cheera to fight once more as one of her Chosen. The voice that had spoken to them before then warned Cheera not to take this blessing lightly, as it would not save her forever. Exhausted and drained of resources, the group took a short rest before planning to head out again.

New Story, New Heroes

In game: 10/01

Picture a forest somewhere in the northern Levithian Empire. Trudging through it is a group of adventurers: Dan Mysterio, the arrogant elven stage magician; Grimaldi, a demented clown; Ketyl, an annoying but gifted singer of half-elven origin; Cheera, the Half-Orc fighter who’s perhaps too innocent for the journey to come; Ethel, her crabby, but loving halfling guardian; and a robotic monk. Scouting ahead are the elven rogue, Enna, and the beefcake minotaur soldier, Korbin Texas.

A motley group at best, but they’re the subject of this story. Working as an entertainment/mercenary company, they had been working together for a little while. They had come together not long after the news had reached the north of the Saviors of the Wastes and their deeds.

This group, however, had a long way to go before they could be so renowned. Their latest mission from Lord Bannon: to retrieve the distant heir of Shao Khan, King of the Levithian Empire, and bring her to the king’s hearing. Shao Khan was reportedly disinheriting his son, Moldark, after his failures and disgrace in the Wastes, and was looking for a new heir. While this heir, Princess Lyanna, was very far down the line of succession, she was obligated to come.

So the group set forth, coming to a town with a small inn with a strange rule. No silver weapons were allowed of any kind in the inn and any weapons had to be stored in a special box. Meanwhile, the group met with a jade-cloaked band of mercenaries who were heading up the same mountain on a secret mission. Fearing that their missions would collide, several of our heroes came up with different plans to slow them down.

Meanwhile, some of our heroes had designs of their own, attempting and succeeding in stealing some of the silver weaponry for their own while the innkeepers were busy with lovemaking.

As all the confusion came together, a brawl broke out between our heroes, the jade group, and the innkeepers (who were apparently werebears, the reason for the silver ban). Bewildered by all this, the robotic monk set the place aflame, assuming that our heroes were planning on escalating the conflict further.

Managing to escape the battle and leaving the jade group to deal with the werebears, our group hustled up the mountain to meet Princess Lyanna, a cleric of Ashava in her own right. As the group explained the situation, she refuses to leave until she finishes her ceremony. Apparently that night was a hunter’s moon, a powerful omen from Ashava. Suddenly, our heroes were confronted by the jade warriors who were there to kill Lyanna. Through a pitched battle, our heroes emerged victorious. Lyanna urged the heroes into the ritual chamber and to enter the water.

As a strange moonlight came over them, the group was overcome with visions of a white, rocky landscape overlooking a blue orb in a vast darkness speckled with points of the smallest light. A gruff voice addressed them, telling them that Ashava had chosen the group for a special mission. What that mission was was not made clear to them. The voice chuckled that his friends bumbled like our heroes did at one point. As our heroes woke up, Lyanna agreed to go with them.

With that, they set out back towards the capital. But it was clear that someone was trying to stop Princess Lyanna from returning to the capital, presumably to keep her from inheriting the throne. The group would have to be cautious.

The Saviors Separate

Wednesday Group 02/22/2017
In game date: 1/22-1/26

Shao Khan shows up to Silotown and proclaims the Wastes as part of the Levithian Empire with Gullycloak as the Warlord of the South. Orin is named as the Seer Supreme, in charge of protecting the empire from extraplanar threats. Various factions petition Gullycloak for help in quelling the threats to “their” territory.

Kipp and Meera go to Zorbon’s territory to retrieve Dak Brannigan’s airship to convert into a mobile Chez Kipp.

Varia becomes a casino baron in Gobvegas.

Roren stays in Silotown to manage his sex dungeon. Orin wanders the waste on various tasks for Gullycloak while doing research on the entities from the Dark Tapestry where the Blue King came from.

Gullycloak puts Iona in charge of diplomatic relations with Tarathel, the former land of the angels now taken over by devils. Iona meets with “King” David and declares war on Tarathel.

Gullycloak sends brigades of vampires to the Thunderclutch to spy and Tarathel to help Iona to take over. He also brings Luca back from the dead to help the dwarves fight off the red dragons. He sends more brigades of vampires and jetpacks from Orlaaz to help Boss Coal. Orlaaz rebuilds the Lightning transit system and Qohan is arrested for his war crimes.

Hatter joins Lord Baxter as his champion up in the clouds to live in luxury and to spread hats.

Lyra goes with Attenberg, the scholar, to either fix the Life Engine to only affect vegetation or to turn it off.

The Guardians of Lore are sent off with a brigade of vampires to track down Morael loyalists as well as Morael’s phylactery.

Gullycloak and Grimsbone murder a cleric of Ing and declares war on the Church of Ing. He also builds his own Ring Road system to facilitate travel around the Wastes.

Krotaro is with the Iron Monks. Dakota is still hunting down barbarians, and Orlaaz builds more inventions.

Gullycloak sends 5 battalions to the Inner Sea Kingdom to siege the capital to let them know we are not to be trifled with.

As far as everyone knows, Kreg disappeared after the battle. A few days later, Mowgli disappeared as well, with nobody knowing where he went. But his friends hope to see Kreg again one day.

The Fall of a God

Wednesday Group 02/15/2017
In game date: 1/22

Silver Owl confesses a great secret: The Elder double-crossed them, to nobody’s surprise. He planned to have Silver Owl rig the machine to prevent them from teleporting away. If she survives without doing this, the Saviors will still have to protect her from the Elder.

Garth begins reading the Blue Pages. As the Blue Priestess shows up with her army, Gullycloak teleports down and ShadowWalks one of her more powerful subordinates away. Orin blows up the Deep Ones with fire. As Kreg begins an awesome divebomb attack, he suddenly begins to panic.

The Blue Priestess burns the Saviors with unholy flame, knocking Silver Owl and Meera unconscious. Dale, Iona, and Grimsbone gang up to punch on the Blue Priestess. Winston takes down one of the halfling twins with his bow. Kreg recovers from his panic with some soothing words from Meera. Kreg explodes one of the twins, leaving behind pants full of shit. With the power of her holy conviction, Iona cuts down the Blue Priestess, plunging it into her heart. As Garth finishes the last page, the sky rumbles. Impossibly large blue tentacles crack through the skies as the Blue King returns. His tentacles smash at the party, grasping Dale.

Wade, the former Guardian of Lore, fires some arrows to save Dale. The group manages to teleport away, leaving the insane Garth behind, but saving Silver Owl. Off in the distance, they see ocean disasters, warped creatures turning back to normal. They see a bright light hundreds of miles away and a humongous mushroom cloud settles in the distance. As the dust settles, and the Deep Ones revert to human form. A sigh of relief comes over the crowd in Silotown, finally everything is over.

Kreg and Silver Owl show up in the Temple of the Iron Monks. Kreg retrieves the box from his arm and frees the former abominations into the light.

Ziggy congratulates them and assures them that the bards of the wastes will speak of this forever. With that, he disappears in a puff of glittering smoke.

Kreg takes Silver Owl by the hand and invites her to eat at a local tofu hot dog stand. She lovingly accepts as they walk off.

The Penultimate Wave

Wednesday Group 02/08/2017
In game date: 1/22

As the Skum and Aboleths show up on the beach, Kipp and Orin burn them with fire. A shoggoth shows up as an illusion, but the group sees through it easily. Sanara fires some arrows at an aboleth, and Gullycloak plunges some of the Skum into polar midnight. Sanara disappears and stabs aboleths in the taint. Lightning bolts and illusions abound.

Eventually, the group managed to wipe out the Aboleths and Skum. With just one wave left, the group prepares for the final assault. The Blue Priestess is coming and it’s almost time to release the Blue King.

Abominations Abound: The 8th Wave
Bit of a Plot Dump

Wednesday Group 02/01/2017
In game date: 1/22

The group is slowly becoming irritated and grumpy from the stress of the many waves of the Blue King. Suddenly, they see a small little octopus waving a white flag. Suspicious, but curious, Kreg goes to retrieve the octopus. Writing words in the sand, Kreg learns that the octopus is, in fact, Garth, his former comrade.

Garth explains, that he was captured by the Blue Priestess after his teleportation spell went awry. Forced to work for the Blue King or suffer insanity or death, he decided to work as a double agent. He managed to find some cultists that were resisting the Blue King’s influence and so, he tried to help them recover and raise them up as an army to help the Saviors. Unfortunately, the Blue Priestess learned of this and stripped him of his power and polymorphed him into an octopus. Further, she had cobbled the hundreds of people he tried to help into four abominations.

Garth thus comes to the Saviors with a plea and an offer. He asks that they trap the abominations non-lethally and transport them away from the battle. In exchange, Garth will read the pages, knowing that they will damage his mind permanently. He gives them a wand of Greater Teleport in order to retrieve Orin and to get the abominations to a safe distance from Cuthbert’s Hammer. He believes that once the Blue King is dead, the effect on the abominations will dissipate.

The group then forms a plan to use illusions and mind control to get the abominations into a magic box, which Garth also provides. The plan goes surprisingly smoothly, and Kreg uses a potion that allows him to store the cube inside his own body. Garth, in the meantime, helps Silver Owl with the positioning of the controls for Cuthbert’s Hammer.

The mist begins to swirl once more as the 9th wave approaches.

Ocean's Seven

Wednesday Group 01/18/2017
In game date: 1/22

Ziggy warns them of constructs from the abyss that are coming.

Crazy Metal Spiders (CMS) show up, shooting rays out of their eyes. Sanura fires some shockstones; Grimsbone, Iona, and Dale get up close and personal; Kipp and Meera summon creatures and Ziggy summons a doppelganger that wags his penis around. The spiders rush into the blade barrier and find themselves struggling under a reversal of gravity. A bunch are blended and eaten by puddings. Orin’s body slumps over as his spirit takes over one of the creatures in time to expose its weak point to Iona’s axe.

Kipp pushes Orin’s body off the tower, assuming him dead. Kreg, in an amazing act of athleticism, manages to catch Orin’s body before he splats into the ground. Kreg hides Orin’s body under a pile of corpses. After the battle is over, Gullycloak takes Orin’s body back to his church via teleportation, presuming him dead.

Once he returns, Kreg and Orin (through possessing other people’s bodies) attempt to convince Gullycloak that Orin is still around, but he used a spell to leave his body and possess other people. Gullycloak is skeptical, but takes the stone and leaves it with Orin’s body. Orin eventually shifts back into his body, but Gullycloak has already returned to the battle.

Stranded, Orin has to find a way back to the battle. Meanwhile, the group patches themselves up for the 8th wave.


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